"See, I'm not a monster...I'm just ahead of the curve. "
-The Joker, from The Dark Knight

Eclipse of the Fire Woman

Night reigns across midnight skies.
A cold amusement shines in her eyes,
and from her lover's arms she flies.

A star-strewn robe worn 'round her form,
her passion a swift and violent storm.
Her touch as cold as her lover's is warm.

Across velvet skin the bright hand slides,
her lover's arms thrown open wide,
as inquisitive caresses seek inside.

Fire Woman has stalked the height,
to chase her bride, most elusive Night.
to claim the kiss that is her right.

Night kneels before her, this dance is done,
Fire Woman's eyes burn like the sun,
as sighs result from favors done.....

Then Night is off, cross darkened skies,
cold amusement shines in her eyes,
as from her lovers arm's she flies.



for those who hvent figured it out yet the term libscum refers to the genetic rejects who:

- live to expand the welfare state so people dont have to show a little personal initiative, get off their worthless asses and earn a living because the government should take care of them.

- play nice with the terrorists who want to kill us because "understanding thier point of view" and "engaging in diplomatic relations" are OBVIOUSLY a more effective way of dealing with those who want to kill us than blowing thier fucking brains out wherever we find them.

- place more importance on "what the world's opinion of this country is" than insuring that we remain a soveriegn nation.

- think its a better policy to pay some saudi $100 a barrel to ship oil halfway around the world than to pump it out of the reserves under our own country for about $35 a barrel because it might interfere with the sex life of some fucking elk.

- think its perfectly ok to allow illegals to crawl across the border in the middle of the night like a bunch of damn cockroaches in the hopes it will increase the size of their electorate.

- buy into global warming because that con man algor made a movie to advertise for his company that sells carbon offsets.

i could go on if i had to, but i think anyone whith more than two or three brain cells rubbing together can understand what i mean by libscum.

dont worry tho, if youre still not smart enough to get it, just take a a look at a picture of barry obama and im sure you will figure it out.



When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided into two shows.

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No fat Chicks.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the crap out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a chain saw. But he holds it backwards.

Chuck Norris’s belly button is actually a power outlet.

Chuck Norris has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Many don’t know this, but Peter Jackson is coming out with a sequel to “King Kong” known as “Chuck Norris”. He’s currently having trouble finding other cast members.

Chuck Norris refers to sex as core training.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have a shadow, light avoids him at all costs.

chuck norris doesn’t milk cows…he roundhouse kicks them in the face ’til the bucket gets filled.

Ask not what Chuck Norris can do for you. But what you can do for Chuck Norris

Aliens do exist, they are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” but before you can ask “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books, hes stares them down until they give him the information.

Chuck Norris does not go hunting. the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.

Chuck Norris never actually shoots a gun…in reality he roundkicks the bullets into his enemies.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

To save money on executions, the State of Texas is considering death by Chuck Norris instead of lethal injection.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ stock trades publicly on NASDAQ under the name “Chuck Norris, LTD.” His four-digit stock symbol is “PAIN”.

Chuck Norris doesn’t pay for anything. Instead, he hands cashiers a note that says “I’ll kill your children and use their corpses as ventriloquist dolls.”

Before invading Iraq, the US government considered sending in Chuck Norris solo, but they didn’t want to get accused of committing crimes against humanity.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have to shave, all he has to do is flex his face muscles.

The leading cause of death in the U.S. is Chuck Norris.

If you’re still alive, its because Chuck Norris hasn’t gotten around to killing you… yet.

Chuck Norris was responsible for the Holocaust. The fact that all the people were Jewish was merely a coincidence.

According to the Bible, Jesus Christ died to save us from our sins. In the original translation, “sins” was Aramaic for “Chuck Norris.”

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

When Chuck Norris starts having sex with other men, it’s not because he’s gay. It’s because he ran out of women.

Sharks don’t live in the ocean because they breathe water. Sharks live in the ocean because Chuck Norris doesn’t.

There are only two kinds of people in the world besides Chuck Norris: people too afraid to fight him and mutilated dead people.

Chuck Norris is Darth Vader on the weekends.

Video didn’t kill the radio star, Chuck Norris did…

Chuck Norris got kicked out of the marine corp for making his drill instructor cry

Chuck Norris’ blood is, in fact, not blood at all, but a rich, smokey-sweet barbeque sauce.

On the 6th day God created Chuck Norris.
On the 7th day God did not rest, he was knocked unconscious by way of roundhouse kick for not creating Chuck Norris on the first day.

Chuck Norris’s birth was supposed to herald the apocalypse. The other four horsemen are simply late.

Chuck Norris donates blood every day. But its never his.

The fastest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around him.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he takes blood baths.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.

Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.

Chuck Norris’ favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division”.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.

The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 30 states.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.

There is no such thing as a lesbian, only women who have never met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

The pen is indeed mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.

Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Occam's Razor says that the simplest answer tends to be the correct one. Norris' Razor involves a flick of the wrist and a Columbian Necktie.

Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.

Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.

Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete.

Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down.

Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child.


The Unofficial Answerology FASQ*
(*Frequently Asked Stupid-Ass Questions)

Please email me with suggested contributions....


Q) does penis size matter?
A) YES, and yours isnt nearly big enough!

Q) Is ther eany way to increase penis size?
A) NO, be satisfied with what you were born with or get a strap on freak!

Q) Can i sniff your panties?
A) NO, but i will let you stick your head between your legs and sniff your own.

Q) Do ladies like to swallow sperm?
A) NO, because it doesnt taste good no matter what they say in pornos you download off the internet.

Q) Are there any ladies who want to cyber with me?
A) No, go back to myspace little boy, you bore me.

Q) Is it considered cheating if i sleep around on my significant other?
A) YES, what part of monogamous relationship are you not smart enough to understand.

Q) How can I make my bf, s/o or some stranger love me?
A) You can't make anyone love you. Stop wasting your time and move on.

Q) Do girls really think that a man buys dinner for you without expecting you to sleep with him in return?
A) Yes. They're called humans, you're a slut.

Q) Women should know their place in society.
A) We do. You're right next to us.

Q) Why dont people have faith in what I believe in?
A) Because just because you believe it does not make it right. I respect your religion you better be respecting mine.

Q) Is it cheating if we masturbuate together?
A) Not if your gf is doing the same thing.

Q) How can I tell if he's cheating on me?
A) If you're asking this question, then you already know the answer.

Q) How can I become a mystery shopper?
A) Why would you want to, you only make like $50 a month, go get a real job and you can afford those new shoes a LOT faster.

Q) Are there any good survey sites out there that pay cash?
A) No, they are all scams.

Q) What do you think about the Don Imus thing?
A) Frankly, most of us don't really gives a shit.

Q) Does Anal Sex Hurt?
A) YES! If you dont believe it, stuff a baseball bat up your ass without nearly enough lube and pump it in and out violently.....
that should satisfy your curiosity.

Q) Is there a way to stop my man from pressuring me for anal sex?
A) YES. Just walk in with a strap-on kong dong and tell him "You first."

Q) What do your farts typically smell like??
A) Like shit, the same as yours...... dumbass.

Q) Ladies, is there an easy way to make you think i am a complete poser that you shouldnt waste your time on?
A) YES! All you have to do is out of the blue say to us "if the moon was right i could have fun sucking off your panties tonight."

Q) Ladies, during sex how far do you want the guy to be inside you?
A) At first glance about 8 or 9 inches more than you can manage, little boy.

Q) What does it mean if he/she doesn't call?
A) It means they do not want to talk to you! GET A LIFE!!

Q) Is there any hope for a relationship where one partner has cheated more than once?
A) NO! Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.

Q) What does it mean when he says he loves me but wont leave his wife?
A) It means you are his piece of ass on the side and that he will continue to string you along until you start using your brain for something other than to keep your ears from banging together in the wind.

Q) What does it means when he says he wants to keep having sex with me, but doesn't want a "relationship" with me?
A) You're his fuck buddy stupid.

Q) Am I HOT or NOT? On a scale of 1-10, what am I? Be honest, I won't jerk you!
A) Oh, shut the fuck up! Who really cares? And how do we know if that's really YOU in the damn picture?!

Q) What does it mean when he says he needs space without me in it?
A) It means that you have gotten on his last nerve for the last time and that is his way of politely saying that he has concluded interviews for your replacement. Deal with it.

Q) She glanced at me today. Does that mean she wants to suck my dick and me to fuck her brains out?
A) Yes. It's so obvious, you should immediately run out, buy a box of condoms and invite yourself over to her place for the evening......

Q: A guy/girl looked at me today, does that mean that they were flirting?
A: Maybe, but probably not. More likely they were just making a mental image of you in case they have to give a statement to the police later.

Q: I banged someone else's huband, and want to confront her without booking a trip to the Jerry Springer show. What do you think will happen.
A: Everything should be fine, except that whoever you discarded your moral character for is about to have just about half as mugh shit as he used to. Which prolly isnt important to you, except for the part where he has less money to spend on your vapid ass.

Q: If I'm insane should I wait until after I'm married before I hoist the crazy flag or do it beforehand?
A: Please hoist it beforehand asap or don't date at all.

Q: Are my breasts big enough?
A: Yes, they are perfect, now come here and let me play with them.

Q: Am I fat?
A: Do you want the truth or something that makes you feel better?

Q: Are there any legitimate work at home sites?
A: No, they're all scams. Get off your lazy ass and go interact with the real world.

Q: What are the signs that a man/woman likes you?
A: They ask you out, stupid.

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wolfspirit	rhycnama	pookiedoo	gettingstronger
smartblond	socal777	moonflower	watbuttondoipush
gbanga	swtnsxy2	drallig9399