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1. Road Trip to Vegas-Bad Idea? / 2. I work with someone who is clearly manic depressive and bi-polar. How do I get along with him? / 3. do you think suggesting "take turns" would be a good idea? / 4. PASTA AND VEGGIE SUPREME / 5. Whats your favorite Game? Do you get Violent with it? / 6. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis... / 7. Do you think you will ever grow up? / 8. All you NYC Upper East Side dwellers...I need your advice on where to live / 9. Not that you would want 18 kids, but.... / 10. 38 YR OLD MARRIED GUY ,18 YR OLD GIRL...? /
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Family & Parenting / 10:55 PM - Thursday October 22, 2009 Back To Top

Road Trip to Vegas-Bad Idea?

My brother is getting married in Vegas in December. I wanted to fly with my husband and daughter, but my mom won't get in a plane. I agreed to drive only because I knew mom wouldn't be able to find a ride down there. My mom agreed to pay for some of the gas but the 27 hour car ride is going to put a lot of wear and tear on my car. I offered (as well as my brother) to pay for a plane ticket, but she still refuses to fly.

Well, now my sister has come up with this idea that we should split the cost of a van rental and all drive there!! I think the amount of gas we'd spend along with hotel stays would amount to the cost of a plane ticket. Aside from that, my sister has 2 year old twins!! I am not driving for 27 hours with toddlers-that I wouldn't agree to, so now I'm the bad guy.

My thought is to have my sister, mom, and her kids drive down since sis decided to go just recently. I can then enjoy a short flight. Unfortunately, I think if I suggest this, I'll be an even bigger bad guy than I already am now.

What do you think?

Update: October 23, 2009.
Everyone's response was so helpful and I appreciate it. I think one point made was that I wouldn't live it down. This person has obviously met my family. LOL No, I think the thing I take responsibility for is agreeing to do it when I had reservations about it. I can't go back on my word, because it's just not me to do so but I will leave my sister and her kids to find their own way to Vegas. Thank you all so much for your honest opinions.

- Asked by peytonlee, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental
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Sex & Intimacy / 6:42 PM - Monday October 26, 2009 Back To Top

I work with someone who is clearly manic depressive and bi-polar. How do I get along with him?

He has worked here for about a year and a half. In the past 2 weeks he has been to the psychiatrist about 6 times and stayed in the psych ward of the hospital for two days. He is constantly changing moods. The day before he was admitted to the psych ward he thought he was on top of the world and had the best life ever. He has recently been doing a lot of research on anxiety and thinks that all of life's problems are a direct result of anxiety which EVERYONE is born with. He claims he is a chemically dependent person because he has to be on anxiety meds. Seriously I think some doctor should come do a study on him because he is so nuts. Oh, he also says very inappropriate things to everyone that works here about himself. He also has the answers to everything and compares himself to Einstein! When he first started here he was pretty normal and we were kind of friends. Now, I can't stand him and I have told him directly to his face that we can not be friends anymore because he is to eratic and moody to deal with. I work at a very small company with 7 employees and me, this guy and another girl work in a large room but at our seperate desks. I have to listen to him say random one word things out loud all day. And most recently he has started saying random words out loud in strange accents. The problem is he is constantly telling me and the other girl about the problems he is sure we have and how we should fix them. Neither one of us girls can stand to listen to him and he knows that yet he continues to talk! What do we do?

- Asked by robynleigh24, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25, Dallas, Administrative
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Dating / 12:25 PM - Tuesday October 27, 2009 Back To Top

do you think suggesting "take turns" would be a good idea?

we have done this way too and i think taking turns would be less tacky. he can pay for dinner and i do the lunch or desert.
i just feel like i should at least suggest and see what he thinks.

- POP'd by Female, 26-28

is it wrong of me to be upset that my bf expects me to always share expenses?

he earns 60-70% more than i do. when we go out we always split the bill in half or a little more on his part.
i don't mind paying and treating once in a while(that's what i've done in relationships) but my concern is that i think he hesitates when he's paying full. i feel he honestly doesn't want to but have to kind of thing.
he does occasionally buy me one round of drinks or something without hesitation though.

when we go small grocery shopping for food that will stay in his fridge, i let him go to the cashier but it makes me feel bad?

he's otherwise a great boyfriend who's emotionally very generous, i think.

i don't know what to think. am i doing something wrong?

Update: October 27, 2009.
ah, someone might be right...he's big on becoming rich and succesful. also he says his dad is big on saving money...

- Asked by Female, 26-28
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Recipes & Entertaining / 1:45 PM - Wednesday October 28, 2009 Back To Top

PASTA AND VEGGIE SUPREME

1 small eggplant, peeled and sliced 1/2
1 small zucchini sliced 1/2
6 mushrooms white or button, sliced
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 can petite tomatoes with garlic and oregano, undrained
1/4 cup sliced black olives
1 small onion, chopped
2 T. olive oil
1 T. ketchup
chili powder to taste
1 lb. box of any shape pasta
3/4 cup grated mozzarella

Directions
Start off by boiling pasta as per directions. Next, sauté onion until clear in 1 T. of olive oil. Now add and sauté zucchini, eggplant, and garlic for 6 minutes until soft, then add mushrooms and sauté for 2 minutes more. Stir in tomatoes, ketchup & chili powder, and cover & cook until heated (about 5 minutes.) Finally, drain pasta, and pour into large baking dish. Mix in cooked veggies and sauce, place cheese on top and bake at 350 until melted.

- Asked by barbb, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?
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Sex & Intimacy / 12:28 AM - Thursday October 29, 2009 Back To Top

Whats your favorite Game? Do you get Violent with it?

lol i am sitting here watching my s/o play with his ps2..he's playing "Need For Speed, Undercover" its hilarious watching him play..he gets so mad! its fun to tease him. he gets into this like i've ever seen..he yells alot

- Asked by dragonflyfairie, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Other Profession
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Diet & Health / 12:23 AM - Friday October 30, 2009 Back To Top

Dealing with a cancer diagnosis...

My mom was just diagnosed with throat cancer. Her lymph nodes have "suspicious cells", but docs are not calling it cancer. She will need surgery (neck dissection) and seven weeks of daily radiation and chemo once per week.

She talks like she's just having a cavity filled and that's it's no big deal. She "plans" on returning to work within 2-4 weeks of surgery and working thru treatment. I don't think she'll be able to return to work for several weeks/months AFTER treatment is completed and her body has time to recuperate.

I can understand wanting to keep a positive outlook, but she's not facing reality....even IF treatment is successful, it's going to be BRUTAL.

I've seen what throat cancer did to a former co-worker of mine....she was off work for a year, she needed a feeding tube, lost her saliva glands, couldn't eat or swallow, lost a ton of weight and aged 20 years. Even after she returned to work, she was barely able to talk for a long time. And she was quite a bit younger than my mom.

Am I over-reacting, expecting the worst, or is my mom living in la-la land?

Update: November 02, 2009.
This is their plan: my mom will have her remaining teeth removed this Thurday, then chemo will start once a week. In a few weeks, she will begin radiation five times a week. Most likely, she will also need to go in to have a feeding tube inserted. At the end of the treatment, if there is any cancer left, docs will consider surgery.

- Asked by snowbear08, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?
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Jokes, Polls & Anything Else / 2:20 AM - Friday October 30, 2009 Back To Top

Do you think you will ever grow up?

Me? Nah! I swear I will be this rude, immature, drunk, stoner, for the rest of my life.


I am actually starting to get a little worried for myself.


Are you scared about your future?





Update: October 30, 2009.
Sorry Phoenix...you're a boy in blue. Don't forget to send your pretty little answer to Tribunal.

- Asked by ashmcawesome, A Life of the Party, Female, 22-25
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Sex & Intimacy / 10:25 AM - Friday October 30, 2009 Back To Top

All you NYC Upper East Side dwellers...I need your advice on where to live

Upper East Side apts...I found 2 studios I really liked and that were in my price range as I am on a tight budget.

#1:
- First floor in a walk-up blding
- small kitchen but modern appliances and renovated
- laundry room in the basement
- low 80th and 2nd ave

#2:
- Semi-basement apt in a nicer elevator building
- much larger than the first apt
- full size kitchen
- laundry room right next to the apt
- low 90th and York

These two apts are exactly the same price and I can't decide which one I should go with. I would take the apt #2 without hesitation if it werent' a basement apt of course, since I have a lot more space. Also, I am a small girl and I would also need to consider the safety factor. There both seem to be in relatively safe area but the apt #2 is in a quieter block - which I think could be scary at nights. Please help!

- Asked by Female, 18-21
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Family & Parenting / 4:10 PM - Friday October 30, 2009 Back To Top

Not that you would want 18 kids, but....

Would you like a husband like Jim Bob Dugger, the father on t.v. who has 18 children and now a grandchild!! Even though he seems a little too country, he's a faithful, caring, patient, loyal, supportive, God fearing guy. I think I could go for someone like him minus that many rug rats..lol.

- Asked by englishrose4945, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Miami, Other Profession
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Sex & Intimacy / 3:54 AM - Sunday November 01, 2009 Back To Top

38 YR OLD MARRIED GUY ,18 YR OLD GIRL...?

I feel utterly alone in this one(I couldnt possibly tell my friendor he'd blab it far and wide... and Id be so grateful for some advice /words of wisdom.
Im going to try and keep this as short and to the point as possible.I REALISE THAT THIS JUST GETS MORE AND MORE PATHETIC -FOR ALL I KNOW THIS COULD BE A 60 YEAR OLD MAN !!!
Basically last Wednesday night (8 days ago ) I was trawling the net on a site looking for no strings sex.I read a pretty explicit profile of a 22 year old girl looking for sex and replied ...she had some stuff about school uniforms etc on her profile and I mentioned that I was a teacher ...she replied in a pretty scathing way that she thought it was disgusting of me and mentioned 'ogling students ' etc
As we exchanged PMs the tone went progressively from confrontational to sexy to 'friendly'...She claimed she had only signed up to the site as 'research' for a Psychology paper she was writing...
She seemed quite keen on me and as we got more relaxed she revealed to me that she was in fact 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Y EAH I KNOW how pathetic are guys- not that 22 is much better for a 38 yr old married guy.
She is a first year student in Psychology having just done her High School final exams. YEAH I KNOW ,I KNOW ...
She seems to be of VERY wealthy stock ,she claims to drive a top of the range luxury car which (just when you think it couldnt get any worse!) was a 'guilt' purchase by her father when he broke her ribs ...she says he beats and hits her constantly .Her mother who is not irish and where supposedly all the wealth originates knows about all this and hates her daughter .Father is an alcoholic irish ,mother is 'non national'...Oh yeah the girl in question has a history of anoxeria and cant have kids as a result...
We chatted on the net till 3-430am every night since we met ...last night I was away with wife and kids -I could hardly sleep as we had arranged to meet tonight....(I never got a phone number for her...)When I got home this message awaited me on the website...
By the way D was a 39 year old married guy she had a 2 year affair with (yeah I can do the maths too...)
I mentioned that a pic of her with black hair was my fave ...


Dear J,
Writting this to you is one of the toughest things i've ever done, I spent all last night missing you desperately, thinking
it would be ok because i'd see you soon. I even dyed my hair black at 7 a.m. this morning, because i so badly wanted you
to like me. My mother summoned me home followed by my usual arguement with my father, collar bone and arms look really awful
which you would have found upsetting, I had to go to donegal with them. I've been thinking constantly about "us", you know
i'm crazy about you. Then i remembered how upsetting it was every time D left to go home. We could never meet in public,
run together you couldn't even spend the night with me. I know
if we meet and when you finish with me it will be unbearable.
I'm becoming jealous of your wife which can't happen. You have
a family and whether you want to or not there isn't room in your
life for "more". I wish we were alone somewhere and we could
ignore everyone else. Very unrealistic but it's a nice idea.
I'm going to miss you so much it's much worse than any physical pain, I loved how kind you were and how you always made me laugh
but it's overtaken me and your all i think about.
I hope you felt the same way about me and i think you deserve "more". Your completely lovely. I'm going to
regret this so much but i wont contact you anymore because we both know it's best. You don't want to hurt me but eventually you'd have to and as horrible as this is [there are tears on the keyboard] it's inevitable. Maybe you'll hate me for this,
i sincerely hope you don't. I just can't go through that again.
Your very special and the sweetest guy i've ever met, I want you to know i've never lied to you and that i will never tell anyone about us, also i didn't write down your number. you can trust me.
It's highly probable we'll run into each other sometime, i hope we do. I am so truly sorry J and whenever you read this know
i'm thinking of you.
love you,

p.s. Do you know paolo nutinis song last request it reminds me of us.

I miss you beyond words . I just hope to god you understand.


WHAT DO I DO ???I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL ,20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME ,IN AN ABUSIVE FAMILY SITUATION, WHO I HAVE NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO ON THE PHONE .THE LAST TIME 'LOVE' HURT THIS MUCH WAS AFTER THE GIRL I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO DUMPED ME IN 1993 ...


DO I TRY AND FIND HER IN THE FIRST YEAR PSYCHOLOGY COURSE AT THAT COLLEGE ?IM TRYING TO BE DISCRETE BUT I KNOW HER FIRST NAME ,WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE (HAVE LOTS OF PICS) ,THE CAR SHE DRIVES,ROUGHLY WHERE HER HOME IS ...

I KNOW FORGTTING HER IS MOST LIKELY THE ONLY REALISTIC OPTION BUT IT MAKES ME SICK TO THE CORE TO CONSIDER.


PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO/WHAT YOU WOULD DO....I RECKON MY FATHER MUST HAVE BEEN IN A broadly SIMILAR POSITION AND THAT IS WHY MY PARENTS SEPARATED WHEN I WAS ONLY 3 ...BUT THAT WAS IN THE 1970S VERY DIFFERENT TIMES...


I ADORE MY TWO GIRLS (WAS SWIMMING WITH THEM YESTERDAY AND TODAY-IT WAS SOOOOO ENJOYABLE)AND DONT WANT TO LOSE THEM -I DELIBERATELY TRIED TO SNUGGLE INTO WIFE LAST NIGHT AWAY AT THE HOTEL IN THE NIGHT AND SHE REPLIED "DONT WAKE ME " ....I FEEL STARVED OF THE REMOTEST BIT OF PHYSICALLOVE AND AFFECTION IN MY MARRIAGE ...I CAN IMAGINE YOU FEELING DECIDEDLY UNSYMPATHETIC RIGHT NOW (DONT KNOW WHERE THE HEAVY TYPE HAS COME FROM...)


WHAT CAN I DO?WHAT DO I DO ?CANT BEAR THE THOUGHT OF ALL THIS PAIN ...

IF I SPOKE THIS ALOUD WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY BURST INTO TEARS ...


JUST LYING IN BED UPSTAIRS ,WIFE THINKS IM FEELING UNWELL...

- Asked by Male, 36-45
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