38 YR OLD MARRIED GUY ,18 YR OLD GIRL...? I feel utterly alone in this one(I couldnt possibly tell my friendor he'd blab it far and wide... and Id be so grateful for some advice /words of wisdom.
Im going to try and keep this as short and to the point as possible.I REALISE THAT THIS JUST GETS MORE AND MORE PATHETIC -FOR ALL I KNOW THIS COULD BE A 60 YEAR OLD MAN !!!
Basically last Wednesday night (8 days ago ) I was trawling the net on a site looking for no strings sex.I read a pretty explicit profile of a 22 year old girl looking for sex and replied ...she had some stuff about school uniforms etc on her profile and I mentioned that I was a teacher ...she replied in a pretty scathing way that she thought it was disgusting of me and mentioned 'ogling students ' etc
As we exchanged PMs the tone went progressively from confrontational to sexy to 'friendly'...She claimed she had only signed up to the site as 'research' for a Psychology paper she was writing...
She seemed quite keen on me and as we got more relaxed she revealed to me that she was in fact 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Y EAH I KNOW how pathetic are guys- not that 22 is much better for a 38 yr old married guy.
She is a first year student in Psychology having just done her High School final exams. YEAH I KNOW ,I KNOW ...
She seems to be of VERY wealthy stock ,she claims to drive a top of the range luxury car which (just when you think it couldnt get any worse!) was a 'guilt' purchase by her father when he broke her ribs ...she says he beats and hits her constantly .Her mother who is not irish and where supposedly all the wealth originates knows about all this and hates her daughter .Father is an alcoholic irish ,mother is 'non national'...Oh yeah the girl in question has a history of anoxeria and cant have kids as a result...
We chatted on the net till 3-430am every night since we met ...last night I was away with wife and kids -I could hardly sleep as we had arranged to meet tonight....(I never got a phone number for her...)When I got home this message awaited me on the website...
By the way D was a 39 year old married guy she had a 2 year affair with (yeah I can do the maths too...)
I mentioned that a pic of her with black hair was my fave ...
Dear J,
Writting this to you is one of the toughest things i've ever done, I spent all last night missing you desperately, thinking
it would be ok because i'd see you soon. I even dyed my hair black at 7 a.m. this morning, because i so badly wanted you
to like me. My mother summoned me home followed by my usual arguement with my father, collar bone and arms look really awful
which you would have found upsetting, I had to go to donegal with them. I've been thinking constantly about "us", you know
i'm crazy about you. Then i remembered how upsetting it was every time D left to go home. We could never meet in public,
run together you couldn't even spend the night with me. I know
if we meet and when you finish with me it will be unbearable.
I'm becoming jealous of your wife which can't happen. You have
a family and whether you want to or not there isn't room in your
life for "more". I wish we were alone somewhere and we could
ignore everyone else. Very unrealistic but it's a nice idea.
I'm going to miss you so much it's much worse than any physical pain, I loved how kind you were and how you always made me laugh
but it's overtaken me and your all i think about.
I hope you felt the same way about me and i think you deserve "more". Your completely lovely. I'm going to
regret this so much but i wont contact you anymore because we both know it's best. You don't want to hurt me but eventually you'd have to and as horrible as this is [there are tears on the keyboard] it's inevitable. Maybe you'll hate me for this,
i sincerely hope you don't. I just can't go through that again.
Your very special and the sweetest guy i've ever met, I want you to know i've never lied to you and that i will never tell anyone about us, also i didn't write down your number. you can trust me.
It's highly probable we'll run into each other sometime, i hope we do. I am so truly sorry J and whenever you read this know
i'm thinking of you.
love you,
p.s. Do you know paolo nutinis song last request it reminds me of us.
I miss you beyond words . I just hope to god you understand.
WHAT DO I DO ???I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL ,20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME ,IN AN ABUSIVE FAMILY SITUATION, WHO I HAVE NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO ON THE PHONE .THE LAST TIME 'LOVE' HURT THIS MUCH WAS AFTER THE GIRL I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO DUMPED ME IN 1993 ...
DO I TRY AND FIND HER IN THE FIRST YEAR PSYCHOLOGY COURSE AT THAT COLLEGE ?IM TRYING TO BE DISCRETE BUT I KNOW HER FIRST NAME ,WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE (HAVE LOTS OF PICS) ,THE CAR SHE DRIVES,ROUGHLY WHERE HER HOME IS ...
I KNOW FORGTTING HER IS MOST LIKELY THE ONLY REALISTIC OPTION BUT IT MAKES ME SICK TO THE CORE TO CONSIDER.
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO/WHAT YOU WOULD DO....I RECKON MY FATHER MUST HAVE BEEN IN A broadly SIMILAR POSITION AND THAT IS WHY MY PARENTS SEPARATED WHEN I WAS ONLY 3 ...BUT THAT WAS IN THE 1970S VERY DIFFERENT TIMES...
I ADORE MY TWO GIRLS (WAS SWIMMING WITH THEM YESTERDAY AND TODAY-IT WAS SOOOOO ENJOYABLE)AND DONT WANT TO LOSE THEM -I DELIBERATELY TRIED TO SNUGGLE INTO WIFE LAST NIGHT AWAY AT THE HOTEL IN THE NIGHT AND SHE REPLIED "DONT WAKE ME " ....I FEEL STARVED OF THE REMOTEST BIT OF PHYSICALLOVE AND AFFECTION IN MY MARRIAGE ...I CAN IMAGINE YOU FEELING DECIDEDLY UNSYMPATHETIC RIGHT NOW (DONT KNOW WHERE THE HEAVY TYPE HAS COME FROM...)
WHAT CAN I DO?WHAT DO I DO ?CANT BEAR THE THOUGHT OF ALL THIS PAIN ...
IF I SPOKE THIS ALOUD WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY BURST INTO TEARS ...
JUST LYING IN BED UPSTAIRS ,WIFE THINKS IM FEELING UNWELL...
- Asked by Male, 36-45 |