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Sex & Intimacy / 2 days ago Back To Top

When you see a hot girl in public

do you try to secretly take pictures of her with your camera phone or if you've got the more sophisticated phone, video tape her with the phone camera since the quality is even better

- Asked by Male, 18-21
Sex & Intimacy / 2 days ago Back To Top

Sometimes people ask "what makes you happy" or "What drives you crazy". We can think in the typical

ways but in order to really move in a direction of a centered, balanced, most content disposition you don't rely on what is outside of yourself really because if you do than your emotions get bandied about by whatever is going on outside yourself. If it's grey out you are grey. If your spouse is angry, you are angry or sad and upset. You end up only happy when the sun is shining and everyone else is good with life. Your happiness will be fleeting if you do that. Sure most of us in this culture have been taught to be simplistic and specific in labeling what or who makes us happy. But pay attention to that line and the phrase "MAKES US HAPPY".

When you start to realize that Happy is not outside yourself but instead a conscious action of turning your mind...turning your attention and viewing or doing something with gratitude and appreciation....THAT's self creation of happy and you can have that anytime, anywhere even in the darkest of days, in the midst of the chaos. Your external world could be falling apart and you can hold but one thought you turn your attention on and find content.

Some people seem to think this is "just to deep". This is a major life lesson here. Employ it and you will find your life favorably transformed. It's not psycho babble. It's an ancient practice with proven effectiveness.

Update: September 29, 2014.
@Tabby That is about a mass indoctrination regarding tithing. People buy into an idea that they are going to go to a hell if they don't act in a certain way and heaven if they act another way. The reward is not now and immediate. In mindfulness there isn't any hell. The gift IS THE KNOWLEDGE and you don't need a church to lead you or tell you how to live or be. You don't need to tithe or join any group. It's free. It's about people being individuals and adopting a stance of turning the mind or mindfulness. It's a whole other dynamic.

Update: September 29, 2014.
@Tabby. This kind of thinking isn't one of non change. It's not one that says "don't problem solve" or "a higher power will deliver you". It's just a way of being happy while you work on your life and towards your goals. What you are talking about is a reactive sheep mentality that is about manipulating masses by a handful of people. This skill is different from domestic herding mentality.

Update: September 29, 2014.
It's actually not insanity. It's an ability to stay in the middle of a spinning wheel while everything on the outside of it is out of control and reactive. It allows you to stay calm, in control of your thoughts, able to plan with your wits. Reactive people don't always respond to what is around them with any measure of effectiveness and they are easily led by others who are being reactive or manipulative.

- Asked by joybird, A Career Man, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?
Sex & Intimacy / 2 days ago Back To Top

anyone ever had a 3some

with the same sex?

- POP'd by Male, 36-45

Are there any women out there who have had a threesome with their man and another male?

What happened? Good? Not so much? Did it change your relationship at all?

- Asked by Female, 36-45
Sex & Intimacy / 2 days ago Back To Top

Roommates and Guests

There is a man who I've been friends with for a couple of years. There was (and still is) some "chemistry" between us although we've never been sexually intimate (but have shared kisses). We spend a lot of time together, have a lot in common, and know each other's friends and families.

A few months ago, he moved in my home. Recently, he's been asking me about female guests in my home. I told him no since I do not know these women he's talking about. Plus, when I recently asked him whether he could leave for a couple of hours because I was having a male guest over, he threw a fit and said he was not leaving!

Well he brings over a female guest. I kindly pulled him to the side and asked him to tell her to leave, which she did. He claims I said it was OK. I don't remember saying that. I'm on the brink of throwing him out since it does not feel as though he respects me.

What would you do? Should I tell him to pack up and leave? Be patient? Please advise. Thanks

Update: September 29, 2014.
He pays a small portion of the rent that goes primarily toward utilities. He finished school recently, but is working a not-so-high paying job. He also has a child by another woman he pays support to. Look....if it's best that I cut my losses now, I will. I've been on my own a long time and can do it again......

Update: September 29, 2014.
Thanks for your responses. Things obviously crept over and I developed feelings for him. However, there is something I want to add. When we discussed being intimate last year, my position was that I refuse to be intimate with him or anyone else without a solid, 1-on-1 committed relationship. So that is why we were never intimate. He obviously was not willing to give me what I wanted and vice versa. Feel free to comment....

- Asked by Female, 46-55
Sex & Intimacy / 3 days ago Back To Top

Torn, sad and unsure of next step to take..

Hi everyone, just would like some opinions please on this matter, i wont go into it too much as is a long story. here for comfort really...

ok basically i met this guy (i am 30, he is 40) been together 18 months. He proposed to me on my bday, two months ago.
Moved in with him in May. I am back at my parents now, he is txtng me saying h loves me and hes done nothing to hurt me, it is me whos told myself he has. Hes twisted around.

unfortunately things have gone wrong, around 8 months ago i noticed on his laptop hed been chatting to various women with slutty names sexually, on skype there was a video of him clearly watching someone/something he seemed very turned on.There were pictures naked women etc, anyway i confronted him he denied it all said was bloke next door, i left it couple weeks later i admit i went back on skype and saw his username. So that was confirmed to me it was him. Yes i should of left him then, but i didn't my own fault i know. In this history i noticed hook up sites. blackbook.com and fuckmates.com

Time went on, a few times he has had scratches on his back. hes said he scratches himself, but he never does.

Whats happened recently is he left all his emails open, and said i could use his tablet, so i did. played games. I also notice in his emails there were loads in spam, but few in inbox where he had been chatting to women asking where they saw him on certain sites. I also noticed he initiates conversations with women on facebook, women he doesn't know.

Was facebook messages exchanged whist with me he added a french girl she sent him tattoos of her body, he was saying he had try and get her on guest list to one of his gigs out in france. Looks like she never went in end. (he plays in bands occasionally)


What has got me very concerned is the amount of spam he has in his folder from lots of sites. Dating sites, and many sex sites. There are some i am unsure wether it to be what sends out to anyone, or an actual personal message, here is what they read - 'hi this is cheryl, we met last summer do u remember me? i definitely remember u, u were very good in bed ' Click here to meet me again. Another read sexual encounters in the subject. and was referring to his profile saying i saw ur profile u look handsome i came across this site, saw ur profile on facebook and was told here i can have sexual encounters any offers is good and money is no object'

Recently i asked him he got very mad and said he was on dating sites before he met me (but he was meant to of been with someone before he met me) he said he doesn't remember the passwords to delete them,
these messages in spam were coming through recently, the last two weeks.
What am i meant to think? he denies everything even the skype which i know to be 100% true.

He just will not admit a single thing. I can not understand this at all, he will just not back down.

I am crying so much, bcause yes deep down i do love him, and just want the truth desperately from him. I want this i know deep down some things to be true what i have seen but i need him to admit this to me, hes meant to love me and want to marry me...I can not get my head around this at all, none of it.

Recently i sat down talked with him he admitted he spoke to women on skype but neevr had cybersex with them and spoke to them when we went through a difficult patch 9 months ago and never did after, said he thought wed split up and talked to these women before he met me. I asked about dating sites he said he cant remember passwords to delete accounts. He said he was thinking of getting a tattoo that's why he spoke to the french girl, and she added him on facebook i know this to be untrue as i saw myself he added her and never spoke of him getting a tatoo.

Im currently staying at parents place...putting off going back to him im torn i live in a controlled environment at home, i also loved my job that i had when i moved in with him i got. I had to pack this in. Right now im so so torn i love him i do, but i know hes basically lied his way out of things. I tried to believe it and not wanting to believe whats really gone on/going on. But i cant do it, hes left it saying its up to me wether i believe him or not, thinks im going back to him tomorrow. I will be honest and say that last week when i went to see him (to get honesty from him) i ended up watching a film with him, having a glass of wine because i wanted to block this all out,, i wanted to believe what he had told me, believed he was telling the truth. I had been away for ten days then i saw him last week, he sobbed and said he thought he would never hold me again, or kiss me again. He seemed quite cut up.

This is where my head goes into a spin, because i cant work it out. Despite all i have said, part of me thinks to be like that he must love me, and maybe he does but he also lies to me and gets up to no good... i dont know anymore.

Many thanks for your opinions and comfort in advance.

- Asked by Female, 29-35
Sex & Intimacy / 3 days ago Back To Top

New study publishes the things we always knew about online dating.

Online dating is good for plenty of dates but a lasting relationship is unlikely. Sure, every person posting online has found their one true love or at least their stepbrother's mail man's dog walker did but for those pesky "real" people aren't clicking the forever button.

The article referenced here "Study Finds Online Daters Marry Less, Break Up More" turned out to be rather balanced and includes click-able links to addition info.

- Asked by alecsmart1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Celebrity
Sex & Intimacy / 3 days ago Back To Top

How do you stop thinking about someone that you are very attracted to?

I am very attracted to my mom's new dentist. All I do is daydream about him and can't get him out of my head. I don't know if he is married or not. Didn't see a ring on his finger and he looks agewise around late 30's maybe. I even had a dream about him recently. It is consuming my life so much. I really would like to stop but I can't. He has a lot of qualities that I am looking for in a mate and he is so hot and sexy. Do you have any suggestions on how to get a grip on things and return back to normal?

- Asked by Female, Who Cares?
Sex & Intimacy / 3 days ago Back To Top

I'm slightly nervous to post this question...but I'm going to.

Several of my friends and several women I know have children and these Moms are either living with a man or in a serious committed relationship w one. One of the major reasons I am terminally single is I have a MAJOR issue w this. I was a child counselor for 15 years and saw HUNDREDS of children put second after a boyfriend, boyfriends children or parented by the boyfriend. Mothers that "deserved happiness" and "deserved a life" just as much as their kids. Just yesterday one of my best friends tells me that she's taking my God daughter for counseling so she can learn to like her live in boyfriend more and accept his 2 daughters AND break the news to her that his kids are going to start calling her "Mom"... WTF???? I refuse to put some asshole idiot before my children. They didn't ask for me and their father to get a divorce....THEY COME FIRST!!! My wants and needs are second to my boys. Why are women SO NEEDY??? I'll be damned if I miss my son's basketball game so I can see someone else's child play soccer..WTF???? I know I'm a bitch....but come on. Does anyone agree w me? AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEIR KIDS ARE MESSED UP!!!

Update: September 29, 2014.
Myneseye711, Randyl and Carlsaname totally get it....having said that- thank you for all the responses, particularly the haters. I figured I might get some of that. Yay- I will go ahead and take your advice to remain single. Yes I have issues, Yes I'm jaded, Yes I'm judgmental...oh and Yes...if you don't like me- you're a penis..;) Have a great evening!

- Asked by mtate0217, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Administrative
Sex & Intimacy / 3 days ago Back To Top

Did I do the right thing?

I had a friend who was like family to me, but his behavior began to irritate me more and more. To describe him, he is absolutely vulgar, inappropriate with the way he dresses (not having the most attractive figure and cutting shirts where they exposed his gut or not really wearing shirts at all), and has no care for what he does around people. He'd watch gay pornographic videos and would flip through very inappropriate photos in public areas, would grope men constantly, making most uncomfortable, and he takes PDA's a bit too far by straddling people and making out with them, kissing their necks, and groping their privates, and all of this occurs in my college. He even called a little girl's brother the "c" word right in front of her repetitively. The school staff has constantly come down on him for his behavior, but have only banned him from college trips and events. However, these acts of his still continued and it's as if the college was enabling him by not issuing more severe punishments. From this, I put in a call to make an official complaint and said that I'd even go to speak to the Dean personally if nothing is done about it, since it has been going on for far too long. They said they'd have a meeting to discuss the problem considering that other students have had problems with him as well. I feel like I did the right thing, but my former friend is trying to guilt me and make me feel like I betrayed him when I've tried talking to him and he kept placing me at fault and only seeing his point of view. Did I really do the right thing?

- Asked by jamie1292, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 22-25, Student
Sex & Intimacy / 3 days ago Back To Top

Should day care centers give employees who don't have degrees the title of "teacher"?

I don't think this woman really intended to misrepresent herself, otherwise she never would have revealed that she didn't have a degree.

But the natural assumption by the general public would be that a teacher would have at least a bachelor's degree in some level of education.

I've seen day care centers refer to their caregivers who don't have these degrees as teachers. So I think it's very possible that this woman calls herself a teacher because that's the title her employer has given her.

I feel like this is false advertising on the part of the centers and that these employees should be called caregivers or childcare providers, but not teachers. If they bandage a scraped knee on the playground they don't get to call them nurses, so why call them teachers?

- POP'd by A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

Am I making too big a deal out of this?

I am someone who prefers to date women who are educated. I met a woman on an online dating site who said she was a teacher. We talked briefly and then met for coffee. She was nice enough, but I found out that really she is a daycare center employee who calls herself a teacher, meaning that she does not have a university degree in education like a teacher would. In talking further, I found out that she has been at her current position four months, and prior to that she was working the drive-thru window at Arby's.

Am I making too much out of this? I just can't help feeling like she grossly misrepresented herself by calling herself a teacher.

- Asked by Male, Who Cares?