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Sex & Intimacy / 1 hour ago Back To Top

When is the last time you made whoopie?

Had some really great sex?

- POP'd by jamiesangel777, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Miami

when's the last time you

were at a sausage fest?

- Asked by jillopo, An Alternative Girl, Female, 66 or older, Peshawar, Other Profession
Sex & Intimacy / 3 hours ago Back To Top

Do you know the proper way to filter your thoughts, ...so you don't get lured off course

...from what you really need to do?

- Asked by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45
Sex & Intimacy / 3 hours ago Back To Top

What is something you did/made that was so messed up the 1st time you attempted it, until that one

...time almost turned you against wanting to make an effort to try it again?

- Asked by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45
Sex & Intimacy / 4 hours ago Back To Top

Which zodiac sign gave you the best sex you've ever had? Which gave you the worst?

- Asked by A Player, Female, 18-21
Sex & Intimacy / 6 hours ago Back To Top

How does my husband learn to last longer?

Three minutes is his max. I have him wear a c ring and masturbate prior to sex. It is such a let down I don't even want it anymore, at least my vibe can finish the job.

- Asked by Female, 29-35
Sex & Intimacy / 7 hours ago Back To Top

How many of you have either personally, or through a family member...

Dealt with a substance abuse problem, whether it be drugs or alcohol?

- Asked by needingmore, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Calgary, Who Cares?
Sex & Intimacy / 8 hours ago Back To Top

There are times when I just want to slap another answerologist up the back of the head.

This is one of those times.

Let me just say that all the men I've ever dated "squirt" and it hasn't been my criteria for keeping any of them. It's not even on the positives list. IJS

- POP'd by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Should I move in with this girl I met Saturday?

Originally scheduled to move into a roommate situation this weekend but I met this girl last Saturday and things have spun kind of out of control. I am torn because I like her but then some things I really don't. Namely, she reminds me sooo much of my last ex who I broke up three years ago. Haven't been with nor slept with anybody until THIS girl.

Red Flags

1. smokes since age 14
2. I don't find her very attractive
3. doesn't have college degree
4. she's loose physically/seems to have had lots of partners
5. doesn't seem to have money yet spends a lot because she has someone to pay for her shit
6. she seems to have lots of emotional baggage/hurt in past/especially boyfriends
7. very overweight/eats nonstop junk
8. seems like exact dejavu of ex gf
9. has a lot more male friends than females
10. pushes pace of relationship very fast/wants me to commit/disable my date profile

Positives

1. willing to give me lots of sex/very open
2. willing to please me/I'll do anything for you love/back massages
3. like her affection/kisses
4. save money $300/mo on rent
5. will live with someone I like/bigger space
6. squirts


Update: July 31, 2014.
I don't know if anybody cares but I'm really a nice guy. I know what the right answer is in my heart. I feel badly for her. I know if I leave she will be heartbroken only to find another dude to make the same mistake with. I guess the real question is how do I not take it personally when she will be so sad and maybe lash out at me when I tell her I don't want her? We've had sex all day yesterday and today. I feel bad because I guess I used her. Honestly, I'm just confused. I haven't had sex in years and got excited. But the okay sex is not worth this. I learned from my mistakes and not want to make the same mistake again. Did I use her? Yes or no?

- Asked by A Career Man, Male, Who Cares?
Sex & Intimacy / 8 hours ago Back To Top

What some men want to insist is "nice" often is subtle forms of dysfunction. Let's review a few of

these:

1.The Pacifier: He sounds like a dream boat but none of his promises or "tomorrows" or "soon" statements ever come to fruition. He will agree with everything you say and ask for but he never really follows through. You end up tangled up and tripping over your own vision for life waiting, waiting, waiting. And if you confront...suddenly it's all about YOU and your faults...well because he's such a "nice" guy and is offering you the world. Offers don't mean squat jack it's follow through that is what counts.

2.The Rescuer: Let's just cut to the chase here. You will be placed on infatalized, rescued and then found lacking unless you respond in exactly the way this budding martyr man expects you to. He give you a handout and then choke you to death with the same hands figuratively. For him it's all about creating dependency NOT lifting you up. And in a dependency you must do it HIS way. You cease to be anything other than his Machiavellian hobby. It's what gives meaning to his life. You can't become an equal and god forbid you should surpass him in success for he will find some way to undermine you. And if you break it off with him for the obvious reasons like him telling you how to live your life than he is going to scream to the high heavens how you took advantage of HIM because "he's a nice guy".

3.The Pleaser: He appears to be a decent, wholesome fellow. But your first warning should be that he complains about how all the bad boys get the girls. He's going to kill you but with his own lack of self. He's shifting the whole of his persona to mimic you, what you like, where you want to go, what you want to do. He offers you nothing in terms of insights of his own, ideas of his own, challenges to your own ideas and thinking. It's all about getting your approval all the time....like a lap dog when what you are looking for is a balanced individuated equal and someone who can disagree thus once in awhile keep you from falling into some potholes in life. A relationship with this man quickly becomes out of balance. These men come from two families of origins either one where his father taught him to revere his mother and now he overindulges this to a dysfunctional degree or a family where the father may have been explosive or not present and the mother was over emotional perhaps borderline personality disordered. These men grow to see women as fragile and often out of control and so they start to become overly amusing and pleasing to the point that their have no self. If there are siblings the pleaser learns to win by being the most pleasing...the one who caretakes every whim. They become sensitized to every nuance of want and jump to fill it often in ways that create martyrdom. These men are also insecure and so you have to spend endless time propping them up and reassuring them that their selflessness is unparalleled. It all gets very old after awhile. And when you start to object to the pattern they go into depression and wells of self pity claiming to be unappreciated.

There are others. There are detailed patterns for the ones I just listed but the point is that what people call "nice" isn't always so. It can be something insidious.

Update: July 31, 2014.
The research I'm citing from was done on men. BUT women do the same things and it's the same lack of functional thinking and behavior. How many times has someone heard a woman ranting about "all she's done for someone" or how she's "invested all those years, waiting, waiting, waiting" or "but I had sex with you" another words I've given, given, given and done all these things or been totally self effacing, or have no life but you...blahblahblah. Doesn't matter if it's mean or women....."Nice" is often a misnomer.

- Asked by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?
Sex & Intimacy / 8 hours ago Back To Top

Should I move in with this girl I met Saturday?

Originally scheduled to move into a roommate situation this weekend but I met this girl last Saturday and things have spun kind of out of control. I am torn because I like her but then some things I really don't. Namely, she reminds me sooo much of my last ex who I broke up three years ago. Haven't been with nor slept with anybody until THIS girl.

Red Flags

1. smokes since age 14
2. I don't find her very attractive
3. doesn't have college degree
4. she's loose physically/seems to have had lots of partners
5. doesn't seem to have money yet spends a lot because she has someone to pay for her shit
6. she seems to have lots of emotional baggage/hurt in past/especially boyfriends
7. very overweight/eats nonstop junk
8. seems like exact dejavu of ex gf
9. has a lot more male friends than females
10. pushes pace of relationship very fast/wants me to commit/disable my date profile

Positives

1. willing to give me lots of sex/very open
2. willing to please me/I'll do anything for you love/back massages
3. like her affection/kisses
4. save money $300/mo on rent
5. will live with someone I like/bigger space
6. squirts


Update: July 31, 2014.
I don't know if anybody cares but I'm really a nice guy. I know what the right answer is in my heart. I feel badly for her. I know if I leave she will be heartbroken only to find another dude to make the same mistake with. I guess the real question is how do I not take it personally when she will be so sad and maybe lash out at me when I tell her I don't want her? We've had sex all day yesterday and today. I feel bad because I guess I used her. Honestly, I'm just confused. I haven't had sex in years and got excited. But the okay sex is not worth this. I learned from my mistakes and not want to make the same mistake again. Did I use her? Yes or no?

- Asked by A Career Man, Male, Who Cares?
Sex & Intimacy / 9 hours ago Back To Top

What is a man who's neither a Nice Guy, or a Bad Boy? Most women have no idea there's a third choice

He is an "Integrated Male".
The name's not catching on, which is too bad... women SAY they want a "Nice Guy", but whenever we send them one, he gets tossed out.
Robert Glover uses the Integrated Male as an ideal in his book "No More Mr Nice Guy!"

- POP'd by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

Nice guys finish last according to women ... What do you have to say for yourself?

Nice guys finish last. It's a statement that every guy, who's ever been dismissed by a woman, takes to heart. And now, according to a new series of studies, there is apparently a lot of truth to it.


Researchers at the University of Rochester, the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and the Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya in Israel investigated a possible mechanism explaining why women and men differ in their sexual reactions with receptive opposite-sex strangers, Newsweek reports.

Their discovery, first reported in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin: that for heterosexual men, women just weren't interested in the so-called "nice guys." However, men were crazy about nice girls.

- Asked by ilom, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Halifax, Science / Engineering