Honest, mature, anonymous responses preferred.
I have had several relationships where the woman I was with slowly became more open with her boundaries as I got to know her. Flirting, being huggy with men, casual with many male friendships, girls' nights out, etc. Nothing controversial or bad, just that sort of grey area sort of thing.
And at the same time, it was expected that I NOT do those very same things.
More than once this has led to conflict. When a man (or woman I guess) points this out it is easy to be painted as either insecure or controlling.
When a man does these things it can be seen as playing with fire. When a woman does these things, it is often seen as innocent or just her exercising her right to the freedom she deserves.
Now here is the tricky part - I have known way too many men who have had women like this and slowly felt isolated and insecure - not in themselves, but in their relationships. This breakdown in trust then harmed intimacy, which led to cheating. More than just a few times I have seen this. Suspend judgment for a minute and follow the logic and emotion on this.
Emotional and intimate isolation leads to cheating sometimes, no?
So my question - how much innocent flirting, texting the opposite sex, having "friends" and that sort of thing does it take before it crosses the line from innocent to damaging?
Please answer the question - be cruddy if you must, but please answer honestly.
- Asked by strongnrelaxed
, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, New York, Consulting