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A Creative (Female, 36-45, Los Angeles) asked:
My boyfriend of 3 years told me last night that he doesn't know if he wants to marry me anymore. We've been on the marriage track since we got back together. And we were having a really good week. He was talking and sharing things, and asking me to help him with things. So yesterday after I had finished helping him with a project he has this conversation with me. He prefaced the whole conversation with how much he appreciates me, sees that I truly care and support him. But then says he has good news and bad news. The bads news is that it use to be a definite yes to having a future, now he doesn't know. But then he says right after that, that the good news is he does see a way for us to get back on track.
I don't know how to take that. Should I be happy that he is willing to work it out? But then he just said he doesn't know if he wants to marry me, after 3 years.
I don't think there is anything majorly broken with our relationship. Our communication is not the best, but I don't think that is solely on me and it can be fixed. Because I'm open. He's the one who shuts down and not willing to talk sometimes. There is no cheating or lying or anything of the sort. We have our good days and our bad days, like any couple.
But now after putting in 3 years, asking me to wait til he finishes school, and been on the marriage track, for him to say this is like a slap to my face. I'm hurt and don't know what to do. Should I just wait it out to see if things get better, do I push the issue to get clarification, or let him go? I love him and he says that he loves me and does want me, but now I'm completely confused. What do I do? Can we get back?
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