What is he doing? or what am I doing? lol..
Three years ago, I was involved in a very intense, passionate relationship for four years. I had never felt so close and comfortable with a guy, and I believed at several points that he might have been 'the one'. That was until truer parts of him revealed a hot temper and bullying behaviors towards others, and me.. Family and friends do not like him at all.. which was understandable. But I had this inexplainable pull to him. The relationship got very rocky, always very lustful or very bad, no middle ground.. But because I had this initial feeling of being so comfortable and that he could be the one for me, I could never let that go, and to be frank, just put up with a lot of crap.
Anyways, that relationship eventually ended and I've been single for three years. Just building my own, being independent, focusing on school, pretty happy.. but occasionally remembering parts of him, of us when our relationship felt out of this world and amazing. I guess I believed time could heal or change people..
Because, recently he emailed me of the blue one day, saying how much he's missed me... He acknowledges the bad parts of our past, and apologizes profusely, and so we begin messaging again here & there. Finally we decide to meet up, and he is still apologizing for things.. and the rest of that evening felt like I was connecting with an old friend. We spent a weekend together, and he's confessing he believes I am "the one" for him, and is talking about our futures together.. It feels good to be wanted like this, but I can't help this shadow of doubt for whatever his real intentions might be or if him now is real.
And since this weekend, he's texted once, how much he misses me and longs to be with me and now it's been 4 days, and he hasn't returned any of my messages or phone calls. I don't know the reason for this, I don't particularly care that much, because I'm a little cautious with him as is.. but I'm wondering if it could just be he's busy with work, or he's just using me because he's currently lonely, or I don't know. but it takes two seconds to call someone back and say, "hey", or text back.
I'm a few years older now, and I've learned a lot about myself. I feel stronger and I don't want to put up with any more 'crap'. I'm a full-time grad student, so I'm staying busy for the most part. I realize I may be hanging onto the 'ideal' of what we had together.. and that's just who I've always been, with all things, as an idealist... I'm not upset about this, but would appreciate some insight if this was enough info and you care to provide any..?
- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student