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Does ignoring someone you like drive him...
10:36 AM - Wednesday September 03, 2003

Does ignoring someone you like drive him...

Does ignoring someone you like drive him crazy??? Or is it a stupid game employed by some to manipulate a situation? In most cases how do you think it results in? The guy going for the one ignoring him, or moving on to something more easily obtainable even though that person isn't the best bet overall???

- Asked by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Seattle

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If I liked you and you ignored me I would assume you weren't interested at all - I would need some encouragement to pursue you. If you ignored me once you knew I was interested I would soon become disinterested in you because you would be being nasty and playing with my feelings. If you ignore a guy too long, he may get over you and forget about you and move on. I personally don't like all the game playing.
However, if a girl is too easy a target, maybe she comes across too easy. Therefore, it's probably better if you let the guy make the running but don't completely ignore him, give him some encouragement and positive signals.

Hope this helps.

- Response by sandman, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 22-25, London, Other Profession

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Generally I don't think that the ignoring posture works. However, there are times, when it can be a good strategy. Now you can call it playing games but in my mind it's sometimes a way to get noticed and increase someone's interest level. For instance. Most really beautiful women come to depend on their looks. They are used to guys trying to score them. Many times when I am interested in someone like this I go out of my way to act differently than the guys she used to. Because it creates a sense of mystery. Now be careful with your definition - I don't ignore them but I treat them differently than they are used to. Hope this helps.

- Response by adalefin, A Player, Male, 46-55, Boston, Executive

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Personally I find it rude and it typically gives me a bad opinion of the girl. I think it results in bad relationships and undesired hostility towards the person doing the ignoring. It also sets up a revenge scenario where after the girl has decided get together with the guy the guy leads her on for a while then stops answering her calls and ignores her. He can go so far as to drop her like a dead fish and not tell her it's over between them. Someone more easily obtainable is going to look good compared to someone who ignores him. How's he going to know that the girl ignoring him is a better bet than any other girl?

- Response by sunsetlover, A Player, Male, 26-28, Vancouver, Technical

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Igorning the guy is a risky game. He may think you're not interested in him and move on. Or he may be playing the same game w/ you trying to gauge your interest by ignoring you.

I've always thought the best way to let someone know you're interested in them is to be yourself & and to let them know you like spending time w/ them. Let things progress from there.

- Response by beachengineer, A Career Man, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Science / Engineering

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Mostly ignoring someone you like with drive YOU crazy...=) It is a stupid mind game and almost never works anyway. Usually anyone you ignore is going to assume you are not interested and will move on to greener pastures...=) Mind games are always a bad idea, they lead to a lack of trust and so poisen the relationship. Good luck!

- Response by xamp, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Philadelphia, Retail

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I think ignoring the one you are after is a stupid game. From a male perspective, if I were interested in a woman and ignored her, she would probably think I wasn't interested and move on. If a woman was interested in me and I in her, ignoring her would again send the wrong signal unless she was really crazy about me and tried to pursue the relationship.

Either way, it's a risk not worth taking. Play it straight so he knows your intentions.

- Response by schmuck169, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45

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It's a game. Any game playing will not get you a relationship based on anything that looks like honesty. Don't play it. Be you or you won't know if it's you he wants or the face you put on.

- Response by desrtrat57, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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