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Have been talking with my ex about getti...
11:46 PM - Tuesday May 11, 2004

Have been talking with my ex about getti...

Have been talking with my ex about getting back together. We're not totally back in yet, and even after a month of being emotionally cold to her, I get back around her once, after we try to just be friends, and I still find myself wanting more.
I want to take a good look at both possibilities. If I do get back with her, what should we both make a point of doing, and what are some signs that I shouldn't get back with her?

- Asked by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 18-21, Newark, Student

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Ask your self this: what exactly is it that you want more from her? if it is a physical atraction that you have then it may not be fair to her to persue this. however if you keep craving her company and there is still that spark there then maybe you two have a chance. if so, then you need to talk about why you broke up in the first place. if that discussion just leads to pointing fingers and argument then its probably a good idea to persue only a frienship. you'll only make things worse if you can't figure out what the problems were the first time and get past them.

- Response by jimygurl320, A Thinker, Female, 18-21, Detroit, Student

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First I say good luck cuz its gonna be hard!!! Don't let yourselves fall into the same patterns or it will never work!! EVER! Also, try not to automatically think you know whats going on inside them, you dont. LISTEN to eachother. And communication. Without that you guys will be a lost cause, promise. Any thing else? let me know.... Good luck!

- Response by pyper, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Cincinnati, Fashion

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One of the first things you need to think about is why did you break up in the first place? Are the reasons for the breakup reasons you can either fix or live with? If you decide that you can do that, there are a few things you both need to make sure you do. Communication is a key to this. You need to be able to talk to each other constantly and make sure you are both on the same page. Along with communication goes honesty. You both need to be open with each other and be honest with your feelings. Chances are, if the break up was not mutual, one of you is feeling insecure about the other one and communication and honesty will help with that. Another bit thing in my opinion is this...actions speak louder than words. Don't just say something..you need to follow through with it. Saying how you feel isn't always enough...sometimes you need to show it as well.
Some signs you shouldn't get back together....if you feel like you can't talk to each other, you can't communicate, this is a bad sign. You also need to think about whether or not you want to get back together just because you are lonely or miss being with someone. If you find you are arguing or not getting along, that may be a sign.
There is a lot of different advice I can give you but what you need to remember is that it is up to the two of you. You need to be ready to focus on your relationship if you want it to work. Getting back together with an ex isn't always an easy thing. Just be open and don't do it for the wrong reasons.
Good luck.

- Response by jerseygal, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Philadelphia, Student

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