Back to Home

Active Questions

Just broke up with my bf and all I can think about is being alone on Valentine's Day
Dating / 11:27 AM - Thursday February 06, 2014

Just broke up with my bf and all I can think about is being alone on Valentine's Day

Is anyone else experiencing this? I just broke up with my bf of 9 months because I accepted him for all his flaws no job, a bunch of kids, prior domestic cases, etc and he plays minds games and treats me like ish anywho, all I keep thinking is I am going to be alone for the second year on VDay with no one to call my own and no gifts. Can anyone suggests ideas of how to deal and get over this void feeling? Thanks

- Asked by Female, 36-45

Read more about the Rating System


I think you need to get over the idea that having someone(to call your own like property) determines your happiness with yourself. You are responsible for and in control of your own happiness and giving that responsibility to someone else is too big of burden for them. To get over that void feeling you have to stop putting all your worth into having a man in your life. To be so disappointed with yourself over being single on VDay is not worth it or healthy. Go dote on yourself and treat yourself to something special. You can choose to feel good that you are single this VDay, at least you aren't with the wrong guy for it and are available to eventually meet the right one. He's still out there.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:


I don't see what the big deal is about being single on V day (Im single too right now) at least you're single and happy right? that's all that matter's. be your own valentine.

- Response by girlpower08, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

I have been along for years and it doesn't bug me at all.

- Response by pawsbuddy04, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

Rating Received:


Yes well at least you know now it wasn't meant to be. Don't know if he would of got you anything or not anyway. It happens and that is life but at least it wasn't on V-day.

- Response by twilightzone85, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Food Service

Rating Received:


It's just another day! I say plan an night out with your single friends and if you don't have any then pamper yourself. You don't need a man to enjoy the day! Oh and think about the money you are saving by not having to get this looser a gift. There are positives here you just have to keep reminding yourself it's no biggie! Heck at least you didn't break up on Valentines Day. Now that would have sucked!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


round up all your single friends and have a night out on the town! thats even more fun and less pressure than being with someone :)

- Response by thekissbandit, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:


Geez. what the big deal. Its just another day. The media makes a big deal because they get paid by promoters. Its a money day for flower shops and chocolate makers. Just like Christmas.

You should stop putting so much emphasis on minor things. Nothing wrong with being single. You should celebrate not having to deal with the heartaches and drama from this guy.

Its not the end of the world. Its just another day. Who the hell needs the calories and cavities from chocolate. If anyting be your own valentine and buy your own box of chocolate. Stop depending on men to do it.

- Response by cinderella2006, An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Take yourself horseback riding.
Lots of women I know got a divorce and bought a horse.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

Rating Received:


i'm on thin strings right now with my boyfriend, so i know how you are feeling. Ive been alone on most valentines' days. and it does suck! Especially if you just recently broke up with someone. My best advice to you is either try to get a close girl friend to go out with u on that night. grab some dinner and drinks some place fun and exciting. OR order in your favourite food and dessert and watch your favourite movies.... Preferably something not romantic cuz then it will get u thinking of how sad you are to be alone on that day. Maybe watch something scary or action packed.

- Response by couchie666, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

Rating Received:


From what you say about him, he doesn't sound like someone you'd want to call your own and wouldn't be likely to get you much by way of gifts anyway, so if you were still with him and building up Valentine's Day to be a big thing, you'd be disappointed. Being alone means the day is yours to do as you please with, without worrying about any mind games or other nonsense. Personally, I think not having to buy into the mawkish hype is something to celebrate, which is why I celebrate what I refer to as Anti-Valentine's Day, a term coined by another A-ologist, Steve67, a few years ago.

Tabbycat1
Lady High Power
A.V.A.T.A.R. (Anti-Valentine Association To Answerology Regulars).

- Response by tabbycat1, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, London, Internet / New Media

Rating Received:


Join the lonely hearts club......a lot of people are alone on that day. So go somewhere with a girlfriend and have some fun.

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

Rating Received:


i'm on thin strings right now with my boyfriend, so i know how you are feeling. Ive been alone on most valentines' days. and it does suck! Especially if you just recently broke up with someone. My best advice to you is either try to get a close girl friend to go out with u on that night. grab some dinner and drinks some place fun and exciting. OR order in your favourite food and dessert and watch your favourite movies.... Preferably something not romantic cuz then it will get u thinking of how sad you are to be alone on that day. Maybe watch something scary or action packed.

- Response by couchie666, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

Rating Received:


Awww I'm sorry hun. I'm gonna be alone as well. I don't have anyone to celebrate it with either. Maybe all us girls that don't have anyone for Valentine's Day should get together and have a party!

- Response by loritg, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Home Maker

Rating Received:


* well, if he has no job, he probably doesn't have xtra cash for a Valentine's gift any hoot......get yourself a box of candy and enjoy...... "good luck"...

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

Rating Received:


Its probably best that you did right before Vday. You might just get dissapointed on the day of because of his uncompromised to make himself change for the better and for you.

- Response by A Career Woman, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:


Valentines day was made by the companies so they can sale candy and flowers. Cheer up I got out of a long term relationship and it will be a year in march since I've been single. I am thankful that I am not a puppet on a string for my ex anymore. I am free to do what I want and I choose to surround myself with people that will treat me with respect. I suggest you be thankful and pamper yourself if you want that day. You aren't alone you most likely have family and friends that are single too. Society likes to make single people look bad on valentines day I feel we are the lucky ones because in some instances we aren't being lied to and played with our hearts.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

Rating Received:


Ice cream and chocolate?

Seriously, it's better to together with yourself and happy than to be alone with someone else who makes you feel less of yourself. It's not that you are unworthy of love. You just haven't made the connection with the right person. He could be out there right now getting dumped and you two will find each other.

- Response by beachinbeachboy, A Jock, Male, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Consulting

Rating Received:


Take someone out a friend, a date and go crazy. Spa treatment, hold class cinema, restaurant. Have fun

- Response by croft1423, A Sportif, Female, 26-28, Student

Rating Received:


He didn't have a J.O.B so you weren't gonna get a gift anyways because he had to give the little money he had to his bunch of kids!!! Lol!!
Just had to do it!

Get over yourself. You're 36-45 and had no clue that Vday was created for consumer driven people? It has nothing to do with love! Its about MONEY! I have a man and we don't celebrate this stupid holiday.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 22-25

Rating Received:


Yeah, treat Valentine's Day as just another day. Before you know it, you'll be waking up to the next day, going to work! Treat yourself for getting rid of dead weight! Make Valentine's Day a gift to yourself for gaining some strength and self-respect back! Cook yourself a nice meal.

Get yourself some video of a movie you might have wanted to see, but never got around to seeing at the theater (no romantic stuff either). Don't you have any single friends? Male or female, ask them to go to dinner and celebrate. Give out roses to each. They have things like that for people who don't have a Valentine.

So, what if some women are treated like Princesses and having sex one night in February. That means, nothing. What matters is being in a relationship with someone who loves and respects you, and treats you with love, consideration, and thoughtfulness everyday.

You want and empty tradition of flowers, candy, lingerie, dinner or sex for one night? Or, do you want REAL love that shines throughout you relationship for more than one day out of the year? Believe me, after dumping that dude, you ARE the VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT! LOVE YOURSELF! You get over the void feeling, by deciding to not believe you're void!

I see blessings for you, where you're seeing none, because of tradition. Stop it, get over yourself and move on to a truly GOOD LIFE as a single woman free to direct her own paths. You'll meet other men. It's not over for you. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You should feel happy after the experience you've liberated yourself from! Good luck to you!

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I've been alone on Valentine's Day for quite some time....hang in there..

- Response by serendipity57, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Everyone has given cool advice. But lemme just add that I feel you should be celebrating instead of feeling sad. Your ex sounds like a total jerk and you should be out there enjoying your single-hood. Go out with the girls and have a fun night out. Life is too short for any kind of sadness. Always look at the bright side. Don't look at yourself as being single and alone. Instead see that you are free of being in a meaningless relationship. Good luck..

- Response by emeraldkk90, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Medical / Dental

Rating Received: