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Are married men or men in relationships even more sexually frustrated?
Sex & Intimacy / 10:57 AM - Wednesday November 06, 2013

Are married men or men in relationships even more sexually frustrated?

I think they are! what do you think? I think it doesn't matter how much sex you have with him. You can wear costumes, dress up,role play,try new positions everything but you can't change into a new woman. If you think you have lots of sex to stop your man from cheating your living in fools paradise. They want a new woman not the same old wife. Agree or disagree? Why or Why not?

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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The challenge is they get bored with us, and there is nothing you can do about it. It seems to be a sort of depression that looms over guys from my observation, they would prefer sex with someone they aren't even attracted to nor do they have feelings for just to get that "excitement" feeling. Women just sort of accept it and it keeps her husband married to her. It's as if guys need to go out there to appreciate what they have at home. One guy explained it to me that he feels like there are two parts of him, he has his business image and his kid inside of him (he was having an affair with a stripper and lavished her with gifts)- I was like she is nasty why do you do that? He really couldn't explain but to say, I love my wife and she is a girl you can take home...but I get turned on by the other girl. Frankly , I think the distinction was his wife bitched all the time and he felt rejected by her even though he was in love with her and loved her; whereas the stripper worshipped him and thought very highly of him so he felt accepted by her and that she was "more on his level"...his dirty little secret of who he was, like he didn't feel worthy of his wife b/c she always complained...but at the same time that's what made him keep trying to win her over. I don't know it's interesting to talk to people and learn about the dynamics of relationships, especially being a single person that doesn't have a hand in the game.

- Response by afirecracker, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I would have to agree - not that I cheat on my wife...but yes, variety is the spice of life as they say.

People don't realize that a lot of the rush and excitement you tend to feel with a new relationship is that it is NEW. Think about it - as a man, I can say that sometimes the simplest things would turn me into a raging horndog when I first started dating my wife (her scent on a pillow drove me nuts, hell even holding hands could turn me on). Now - those same things barely register for takes more to get me revved up.

The way we are wired and built biologically seems to only confirm this even more. From a purely evolutionary point of view, women can only be pregnant with one man's child at a time. However, theoretically a single man 'could' impregnate every woman on the planet. Then when you consider the limited timeframe women have to reproduce, this only supports this notion more.

That said, when it comes to ideas of love - I may fantasize about other women but my wife is the only woman who ever made me feel as though I don't want a relationship with another woman. Any time I fantasized in the past, it was about actually being in a relationship with another woman - now, I can only see myself with my wife in the long term. In such a situation, surely wearing costumes, role playing and other things surely help!

- Response by corsair77, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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I agree with you. You cannot become a new woman, or stop a man from cheating. This is why we both vowed to never remarry or live together. We do not invade the others space this way. We also are open FWBs. We can step out of our relation at any time for someone new. But, we have chosen not to as of late. The same old? I agree with you there also. Repeating the same thing(s) over and over is a bore and can become, old. This is why new things are done and tried on the regular. It works for us.

- Response by nomadbum, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Self-Employed

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I disagree.
If a women is doing all of what you say, then that guy should be a happy fucking dude.
If he is cheating its not because of sex, its because of mental/emotional issues.

Same old wife is more like the problem..same problems day in and day out..
My wife does it to me everyday.. I come home and hear 45 minuets about her back pain, doctor bills, doctor appointment scheduling problems..every fucking day.. Thats what drive a guy to find someone that he doesn't know..

the challenge is to listen to it everyday and not stray...

- Response by proteus, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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This is why I get a total body makeover every 5-10 yrs. I mean get a set of new tits, a little tuck here and there and whalla you have a new body for them to explore. Try it, it works for me...LOL!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Frustrated is the ABSOLUTE wrong word. I have been married 13 years. I love my Wife and our sex life is pretty darn good. Does that mean she does EVERYTHING I want and vs. versa? HELL NO!!!!!!!

However, we work within the confines of what we will do very well. NOW, onto your question. I disagree. I don't cheat on my wife BUT I can honestly say that IF I did it would only be for something different. Meaning, a different taste, smell, feel, sound etc.

We all do it different and some of us have the will power except and move on and some of us are just too damn weak do things we shouldn't.

Don't condemn all men, that is wrong. IF you are fucking your man like there is no tomorrow....KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!

- Response by handsomedetroitguy, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Political / Government

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Research has shown over and over that that men in long term committed relationships get MORE sex than single men. What they don't get is the novelty of new sexual partners. And contrary to popular belief standing on your head and having lots of sex will not necessarily prevent a man from taking on other sexual partners. So it you aren't really wanting to do those things don't bother. Emotional intimacy that is reciprocal and genetic monogamy is what puts the breaks on secondary relationships for the most part. Note I said...genetic monogamy. Not all humans are monogamous and the monogamous expect them to be. That's where the folly lies.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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Wow... I guess I'm the same old wife.

When people stray they do it for reasons not only pertaining to sex. I say people because men are not the only ones who live with the "same old..." It works both ways. You may serve creme brulee, but all they want is Jello.

- Response by candiedcherry01, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55

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I found that if I lead him on lots and reject him sometimes, over a certain amount of time (like a week), the sex is really good for both of us and it leaves him chancing me all week, not looking at other girls. Or let him take control for ages without telling and then one day jump on him and I take all the control, leaves him wanting more of me.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Melbourne

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Monogamy is another name for monotony. Nobody want a monotonous boring life.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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