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Dating / 2:33 AM - Wednesday November 06, 2013


my bf and I have had our ups and downs. Hes a widow with a 2 year old and a 3 year old. I was patient cuz i know hes a single dad. I even babysat and took care of his kids, I bought them gifts took them to the park. I even bought him gifts. after 3 months I realised we had never even had a first date. I called him out on it he said I never asked. I thought that was odd I said I was giving you space cuz I was being understanding. He said I was selfish and we broke up. we then worked things out again but this time he had no money to go out. so I offered to pay. he said no. so again we never went out on dates. when id stay at his place his son the 3 year old would always interupt us and we never had time alone. I mentioned this again and he said I was being selfish. When his kids were both sleeping id asking him to come lay with me in bed or on the couch. hed always say in a few mins and then hed never show. we broke up, I found out I was pregnant. he was excited ( btw he also had a drug habit..crack) he owed me lots of $ to the point i recently had to give up my car. anyways he claimed he would change for the sake of the baby. he didnt. his son still came between us, I had an abortion a decision I regret dearly. he moved with his 2 kids back to his home province. we started dating again. he again mentioned how he had no money but he started working under the table cuz hes collecting disability. he said he would come see me nov 1st weekend. I have 2 jobs and I took time off to be with him. He then kept complaining about how the flight was $600. I said if you cant come then forget it, i dont want you in dept. he said hed reschedule the trip. 3 days after cancelling the trip he told me what he was going to get his son for his 4th bday. I asked what? he said "an ipad" i said that gift is inappropriate for your son hes turning 4 years old. i also said you gave him an ipod when he was 3 and he dropped it down the sewer after you told him not to take it outside. i have to admit yes im jealous of a kid thats almost 4 years old. its been 7 months since weve been together and ive gotten nothing. not a proper date not a movie. nothing, my bday passed a few weeks ago i didnt even get a card. he said hed come see me since he misses me so much and then he said he has no $ then i hear hes buying his 4 year old an ipad. We got into a big fight he said i was being selfish. when we worked things out he felt the need to tell me "o by the way i got anthony his bday gifts (keep in mind his son turn 4 nov 11th) he said you wont be happy but i got him the ipad, a xbox 360 and a skylander. in total he said he spend a little over $1000. on his son. first i think that gift is inappropriate. i said his son doesnt listen to him, he hits his little sister throws tantrums and has broken an iphone and an ipod and a nintendo ds. i tried to let it go but i got mad especially when my bf who has never gotten me anything ever even though ive bought gifts for him and his kids said he wants me to fly down and see him. he said we can split the $600 ticket. i said no. you shoulld pay for it yourself. then he got mad. I told him " weve been dating since april. in april u said u will take me out in may, in may you said june, in june it was july, in july u said august, august u said sept, oct you said ud see me nov 1st. and u keep saying u have no money yet u bought your son all these expensive gifts i said what about xmas? i said dec ull say wait til january. u keep pushing me aside. weve been dating for 7 months and im an after thought. he said i should move there. get a job. work during the day, he will work at night while i watch his kids i said that means theres no time for us? he said im negative. i said no its like ive gone from single to having a husband and 2 kids with none of the benefits in between. i dont think i should move. do you?

- Asked by spyce1982, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 22-25, Toronto, Medical / Dental

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pretty convenient for him to have you there to watch his kids. find a better deal that one sucks.

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

I can't believe you even have to ask if you should move to be with him!! Unless you want to spend the next 20 or so years as his babysitter, housekeeper, sex partner & financial provider, the answer is NO!!!!

- Response by confused6416, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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Sorry, it's time to give him the Boot. He is a user...

- Response by oldman52, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Sydney, Retired

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I think you already know the answer to this question, deep down you know this isn't a real relationship and that you are getting nothing out of it. Find someone better for you, you'll be happier in the long run.

- Response by borninthemeadowcourt, A Creative, Female, 18-21, Student

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No, I don't think you should move.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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No. Do not do it. BAD idea.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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Please separate your questions into paragraphs. It's difficult to read a continuous wall of text like that.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Washington, DC, Self-Employed

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