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What should I do about my boyfriend?
Dating / 9:24 PM - Tuesday July 23, 2013

What should I do about my boyfriend?

I've been in a relationship with this guy for a little over a month now. I have Aspergers and can be clingy many people misunderstand me I'm a persistent individual. My boyfriend started management training for his job. Which communication hasn't been good this past week. I haven't heard from him since thursday. He hasn't answered any of my texts or calls he could be working he works 10-12 hour days. However we met on Ok Cupid and I saw he been on recently ok Cupid after he stopped going on after we started dating. Some people can go on and chat to make friends but I'm a little concerned. He said his next day off is Saturday should I try to reach out Saturday? Do you think he's gonna dump me? What should I do? My friends tell me to dump him and move on. But we have a lot in common. He also lives 2 hours away. I'm worried I don't want to lose him.

- Asked by A Life of the Party, Male, 22-25, New York, Student

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I'm really sorry you're going through this -but .. If he doesn't have time to respond to you how does he have time to go on Cupid?

I think there's too many obstacles in your way - he's 2 hours away, maybe you should try to look for someone closer to you. Maybe his management training was an excuse to slowly slip away. did he mention this management training when you first started talking or did it just pop up within a week or so ago. if it just came up then I would go with -it's just an excuse - sorry.

If someone really likes you they will do whatever it is to contact you. They'll make time. it takes 30 seconds to text - hi, talk to you later. These past few days I've been working at both jobs - 16 hour days but I still find time to speak my husband, my sisters, my parents either a real conversation or a couple of texts. If he really wanted to talk to you he could have went to the bathroom and called you from there.

When my husband and I were dating I worked fulltime, I took 21 credits a semester, studied for hours a night and still had time to see him almost every single night for a few hours. I made the time. we might have went to Denny's and I studied there, but we were there together.

I also completely understand the not wanting to give up just yet. If he's off on Saturday, try to get a hold of him - if he responds and you hang out - wonderful. If not, I think you already know that answer.

Good luck - I hope it works out for you


- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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I know you don't want to lose him - I really do feel your pain, girl - but here's the reality, as someone else on here said, if he has time to go on Ok Cupid, then he has time to call you.

I think you are right about his misunderstanding you because of your Aspergers, but here's the thing, too, most men HATE anything that smacks of clinginess - even if it has to do with a medical disorder.

You really should not call him at all. Let him miss you. Try really hard, sweetheart, please.

The next time you feel like calling or texting him, send me a message and I will remind you of what you're doing - you need supportive people around you to remind you that you're worth being pursued, and you should not do the pursuing - even if YOU feel your medical disorder somehow is making you less desirable, because that insecurity shows right through.

Please think twice, find another guy if you can. I know it's hard - believe me I really do know - it has taken me 20 years to find my soul mate because I screwed up so many times with my own insecurities and flaws - but you HAVE to find someone that is compatible for you not just in interests, but in willingness to travel, communicate the way you like, etc. There are so many obstacles today to make it more difficult. Make it easier on yourself, ok?

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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If he's off on Saturday, wait for him to contact you. If he doesn't want to see you on his day off then I'm sorry... but he may have other plans. Don't chase him baby.

- Response by candiedcherry01, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45

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