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I am jealous of my boyfriend's success.
Dating / 3:58 PM - Saturday March 23, 2013

i am jealous of my boyfriend's success.

i just admit to myself that the real reason why i am angry is because i am very jealous of him. i am proud of him but still jealous. We are both creative ppl and his career is taking off and i am stuck behind a desk. now he is traveling, doing shoots... i was the one doing that when we met, but now, i have no life and no money and i am green in the face. he doesnt know that i am jealous and i shouldn't be, and i pick fights because i am mad at myself. I want him to succeed but just not so far out my league... is this normal?

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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No. He deserves not to have a bitch around.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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No - cut it out! You're not supposed to be competing with your mate..the 2 of you are a team who compete against others. See how that works?

- Response by jillopo, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35

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It's common. This was the top reason why couples with the same career usually didn't end well. They compete with one another. The woman in the relationship feel the way you do but it's worse for the men when the female is more sucessful than him. Because men are the providers. Have you heard of the Oscar curse? All the female actresses who won oscars soon divorced, it was so common they called it the oscar curse. Their husbands are actors too. When you're in the same career, it almost never works out. So, how you are feeling is very common. Just keep in mind that your relationship most likely won't work out long-term.

- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?

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You were traveling and doing shoots when you met him, why aren't you still doing that? Can you get back into doing it? I wouldn't want to compete or be jealous, but I would certainly want to be doing what I was when I met him.
If you can, go for it.
I hope you just didn't 'give up that part of your life' for him and are now feeling bad about it. I wish you luck and success!

- Response by seajaih, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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I think you'd benefit by getting counseling for your insecurity and self esteem issues. To blame him and be angry at him for his moment in the sun is not only unfair to him but the resentment will end up seeping into your relationship and ruining it. It starts with jealousy, then resentment, then snide belittling comments here and there because of your insecurity. You really need to get some counseling to not only find out WHY you're so jealous, but also to stop it. Are you less jealous of his success but more afraid of being left behind for someone else? I think that's really the underlying issue. You're afraid that he'll find someone who he thinks is more talented and more deserving of his attention and leave you. Therapy is definitely needed here before you sabotage your relationship.

- Response by diznykd, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

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Is it normal to be selfish? Sadly, yes, most people are selfish just like you.

- Response by greekattorney, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Political / Government

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