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My husband can not keep a steady job. He always has issues at work. Politics always getting into it.
Career / 6:19 PM - Thursday March 07, 2013

My husband can not keep a steady job. He always has issues at work. Politics always getting into it.

His issues at work are always a problem, he's
paranoid that people are always out to get him. I am so frustrated because it affect our family like. I love him, but he is not ambitions and is not a good provider. I want leave, but I just can't. I feel conflicted. Please give me some advice. I am going to lose it.

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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My advice isn't going to be accessible because without a job he has no insurance and so he isn't going to be able to get into therapy. BUT he does need therapy. There is a problem with interpersonal communication here and you mention paranoia. The fact that he keeps getting fired may mean that he makes his coworkers want to get rid of him and so maybe he isn't paranoid at all....maybe he has a personality disorder and has emotional disturbance that makes him difficult to work with.
You may be conflicted about leaving because you would like to but may not be able to afford moving on your own. If you are about to loose it than you need to consider talking to a lawyer about what your options are. You most likely could get into subsidized housing if you also work. This would enable you to seperate from him with intentions of filing for divorce when you gather enough funds. Or you could consider filing for divorce through Legal Aid which is legal services for low income persons. They usually have lists of lawyers who will see you for a very low nominal fee and help you file divorce paperwork.

- Response by joybird, A Career Man, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Sounds like he needs to be under a doctor's care and on some kind of medication if he truly is suffering from a paranoia disorder. I hope that is not some excuse he's giving you so he doesn't have to work.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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Well Damn.

I was gonna say the exact same thing joybird just did.

Sounds like your hubby may be schizophrenic. If you have health insurance, you may want to make your STAYING with him contingent on his seeing a shrink. A Psychiatrist, not a Psychologist. He reminds me of one of the ladies at my church's husband.

Turns out he was mentally ill the whole time.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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Get him help or leave because it sounds like he has some issues that may need outside help, good luck!

- Response by funegirljen, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Sacramento, Administrative

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I do not know the specific details of his profession or work history so pardon me if I am saying something you may already know or have thought of.

The previous answers are obvious worth considering. If he has a paranoid issue where he believes everyone is talking about him or bringing him down, the likely hood of him going to a doctor to get "help" are slim to none to probably not. This may be a great way to determine if he really is just playing you as he doesn't want to work or if he does have a problem.

I see you mention you've been considering leaving him and at the point you need to as yourself if you love him and how much effort are you willing to put into this relationship/marriage. It seems as though he needs support, someone telling him he's doing a good job or the best he can. Either way I hope you are able to decide what would be best for you. Good luck.

- Response by junipershea, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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He may not be paranoid; is he paranoid with other things in his life, like other people out for example at the grocery store, talking about him, etc?

It could just be that his personality is difficult for mainstream to relate to and instead of trying to understand, its easier for people to shun and ostracize. If more than one erson complains and/or the boss feels the same way, he may very well be mistreated and not being paranoid at all.

It could be that he would be more successful at a job where he is alone most of the time.

- Response by norwegi, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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