|Dating / 1:08 PM - Thursday March 07, 2013|
Building walls and finding balance?
For a long time I had a very thick layer of emotional walls up in regards to meeting new men. I had been really hurt and I just wasn't in to being hurt again. Over the past few years, I've had some pretty good confidence boosts and self-reflection and have felt the walls disappear. The problem now being that I almost feel too unprotected. In the past 6 months I've gone out very briefly with 4 separate men at different times. Each time I went into the first date with very little pressure on myself accepting that it's just a first date. All but one, I was just absolutely smitten for by the end of the date. They hit my "would really like list" and I could give a handful of reasons that I would want to continue seeing them. When each of those 3 fell apart I just felt crushed. Not I'm going to get a dozen cats crushed, but I can't believe this is happening crushed.
- Asked by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Other Profession
Emotional walls usually need professional help in breaking down. Everyone takes a chance on love and it is never guaranteed. You seem to fall too fast and you might come across as needy so therapy might be the key. Rosey
Great questions and the answer really is I don't know. Personally, what worked for me at your age was having a bad attitude, if someone asked me out fine...I'd go not to be a stick in the mud, but I "knew" it wouldn't go anywhere. I probably have the world record for first dates that went nowhere. I was painfully bored on some, painfully annoyed on some, and probably have the record for avoiding kisses at the end of the night thinking..."is he crazy, he enjoyed this??" But on one occasion I did find myself having a lot of fun with this geeky guy and having a lot in common...before I knew it I was walking down the isle with a close friend that seemed like he had been made for me. So you are right at the age to find a life partner and build a family with...you are done with school, hopefully supporting yourself, presumably still fertile, and you "know" most dates don't go anywhere so you don't have false understandings, but still give guys at least a chance.