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If you are a married couple, in love, and sharing bank accounts with no real problems...
Married Life / 6:01 PM - Wednesday March 06, 2013

If you are a married couple, in love, and sharing bank accounts with no real problems...

Do either one of you either ask or have to answer to "Honey, why did you take $X out of the checking account?". Or is that kind of a question just displaying doubt just looking for argument? I mean if you're married and you love and trust each other, shouldnt you just believe it was for good reason?

- Asked by wakeforester, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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I think you should agree on having a limit where you will agree to discuss certain purchases. Like anything over $1000 should be discussed. I also think you should have your own accounts plus a shared account for certain things.

I don't think asking "what they spent x amount on" is expressing doubt unless they have already proven to be reckless with credit cards and money in which case it is a fair concern.

Basically any two people need to carve out an agreement that works for them. I think the problems arise when you fail to address it at all and think love conquers all. It might but I'd hate to find myself bankrupt because of my spouse's negligence or addictions.

- Response by roxygoldfish34, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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My wife and I share the checking account, even though she does not write checks herself and I pay all the bills at the first of every month. She has a seperate bank account also, in which she can use her debit card for any purchase. Ladies have to have things that men don't want to purchase and ladies should be able to buy things like clothes, makeup, personal items without explaining where the money went. At least that is the way we do it, and it works out real well. Also, if the purchase is over 50.00 then that comes from our joint checking account and we let each other know in advance of spending the money.
I want her to have independence by having her own account. It's not a big account, but it serves her well, as she is not a big spender. After we pay all the bills for the month around the first of every month, then we both are pretty much independent on any items we buy less than 50.00. It works out great for us. We do love and trust each other, but I doubt that would work if either of us were dishonest in our relationship.

Thanks for your question,
Don

- Response by don07, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 56-65, Las Vegas, Self-Employed

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Yes, you ask! There is nothing more touchy than money and if you think it's wrong to ask? Then your blind to what can happen when someone tends to overspend on themselves and not you as a couple.
I believe that if your really worried about how money is spent. You either give yourself allowances or you get your accounts. It's not uncommon these days! Good luck

- Response by fabulous68, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Sacramento, Home Maker

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Dude...where money is concerned you always need to ask questions...

- Response by prettismile, A Creative, Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I wouldn't ask unless we couldn't pay our bills. If we can pay the bills, what is the big deal?

The amount of the money doesn't even matter either unless it is enough to buy a major asset or there is some reason to believe the other person is "siphoning" the account (in order to prepare for divorce).

- Response by valannetine, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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If it was a large amount we would ask for what.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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It depends. If its a large purpose, we discuss it. Little purchases here and there aren't noticed, but if it's a more significant amount of money, the other usually likes to know. It's not that we need permission, it's just something we discuss. Usually, I'm just like, "hey, I'm gonna spend this much here", just to let him know.

- Response by sweetnsilly84, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Home Maker

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Honestly, if my husband takes money out he tells me when we meet up later on that day. Usually he'll bring it up, "Hey babe I took 20 out to pay my co-worker back for lunch..." And I usually respond, "Cool, I'll pay all the bills on Friday then which will leave us with 300 for a week." :) Good communication skills I think...

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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We have shared bank accounts, but the household "bills" account is only for our monthly expenses. If either one of us is doing anything that costs more than $100, we're supposed to let the other person know. It's not about "permission" it's about good communication and wise choices. TRUST only follows good communication and a history of wise choices...

For stuff that is going to cost more than a few $100s, we talk face to face, no notes or txts about the expenditure. We've had to have a few face to face chats over some pricey car repairs the last few months and got rid of our "extra" car for the kids around Christmas because of the increasing "costs of ownership." Neither of them are working and paying for insurance and repair expenses on a third car was just too much.

You have to TALK to each other about your finances, and it's important that you AGREE on the priorities. If you've got that down, then the rest is much easier.

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55

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I can't imagine sharing a bank account with my husband. The rule in our home is once the bills are paid you can spend your money as you wish. I have a feeling if we did share an account there would be a lot of "what the hell did you spend that on". Not because we don't trust each other but moreso because we have very different spending habits.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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