If trying doesn't work, do you give up?

I did. Why does that work? It's counter intuitive. From career to friendships to anything. Why does sitting doing nothing pay off? In the past I used to work over time, now I do nothing and deals keep falling in my lap. When I tried to be nice and maintain relationships, everybody treated me poorly. When I don't call for birthdays, don't send gifts, blow people off...even new people they work that much harder to be my friend. When I worked myself to death to keep a nice place and to look pretty, my husband was mean and wouldn't touch me with a 10 foot pole, now that I look terrible he tells me Im beautiful. Why does not trying work?