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How to know if you're being played?
Dating / 11:28 AM - Sunday February 24, 2013

How to know if you're being played?

When a person is played they dont realise it till after the play has been done. That person who has just been played will see the cons of the player but then be in denial and think about all the pros the player has. But the pros arent even pros because they are most likely all lies which makes all the pros, cons. It sucks to end up as a players target when you know you dont deserve it. For all anyone knows we all may be players or the prey of players right now. The feeling and curiousity of if youre being played sucks because then you cant really let your guard down and be "real". And you cant really find out if theyre lying or not. Not knowing the difference from something genuine to something completely fake.

So the question really isnt if youre being played or not. But specifically, how do you know when a person is actually being genuine with what they are expressing or saying to you?

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, London

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You don't know. You basically have to trust your common sense/gut. A guy that pushes you to do things he knows you don't want to do, a guy that's flattering towards your body/physical appearance, a guy overly physical...going in for a kiss when you just met, a guy friend that you know to just live hot young things...just because he starts to play with you (starts telling you he loves you and how beautiful you are to him when you start dating someone else) doesn't mean his preferences have changed...he's just lost respect for you for some reason, a guy that makes you the guy it's embarrassing to say I ever claimed him as a bf took a marker and asked me to see if I could hold it under my boob...can you be more degrading to a person? A guy that doesn't include you in group settings.

Now, how you find a genuine guy? You watch them and see how they treat others and approach them or entice them. I know it's silly, I know guys are the hunters and you might face rejection, but I think girls are better at picking out mates for themselves.

- Response by afirecracker, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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You tell by how they act, not what they say. A player will say what he needs to say to get what he wants. If you sit back and wait to see what he does, you will know he is playing. You won't fall for what you are told if you watch and see if the persons actions match their words. If they are sending mixed messages, you are being played. If their words don't match what they do, you are being played. If you watch a person, and observe what they do, not what they say, you won't be played.

- Response by iamboo2, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Charlotte, Therapist

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