Back to Active Questions

Active Questions

Don't you think it's only human nature for a man to want to work and be a provider?
Jokes, Polls & Anything Else / 2:07 PM - Thursday January 10, 2013

Don't you think it's only human nature for a man to want to work and be a provider?

What is wrong with a man that allows his wife to work, and not want to be the provider? I mean if a man defines himself by his work, then how can he possibly have any self-esteem. Don't say, if they have an understanding and it works for them that's great! Regardless, I really think there's something wrong with that picture. Every man I have ever dated has always been a provider type. I do wonder if it's how you're raised and what the role was of the male or lack of male? Thoughts anyone?

- Asked by angelsofheaven, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Minneapolis

Read more about the Rating System


" I mean if a man defines himself by his work, then how can he possibly have any self-esteem. "

Thats a big "if." If a man DOESN'T define himself by his work, then he can EASILY have self-esteem when not working. I dont think its human nature for a man to want to work and be a provider, I think its human nature for people to not want to work at all, man or woman. Work is a pain in the butt, and most people avoid it if they can - THAT is human nature.

- Response by xerxes, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Lawyer

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

it's been tradition.....men were the providers....women were the caregivers.......

it changed a few years ago when it became necessary for families to have two wage earners to meet their financial requirements....

then the responsibilities seemed to change....

- Response by mamu, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Well seing that we are past the days of exepcting women to do certain things for their man, I think it is just and obvious reaction that some men don't see any point in supporting women how only look out for themselves. You can say some old rules apply to men, but all the old rules don't apply to women. you may not like it, but in 2013, it is every person for his or her self. This is what happens when you have people saying one side has to live up to stereotypical gender roles as it relates to men, but women don't have to live up to their stereotypical roles. Don't get me wrong I go out of my way for Family, but I am not going to provide for a woman who is just out for herself which is what many women are about these days.

- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Not in all cases. I know more than a couple deadbeats and not all of them grew up fatherless. I tend to think selfishness and a false sense of entitlement contribute toward their lazy demeanor.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:


I presume the s3x is good-
maybe you like being treated like a princess instead of a dog...

- Response by movi, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Administrative

Rating Received:


Quite often a mans entire self esteem and his identity are wrapped up in his work.

What many women don;t seem to comprehend, even if not especially those who claim to want equal work for equal pay is...

...any job / career that a man has that pays really well, and I don;t mean any of this bucks an hour nonsense, but pays really well, your as belongs to the company.

Remember that movie titled 9-5, with Dolly parton ? A man would never make that movie, because more is expected of him in his role.

A woman should always work unless the couple feels it is more important for her to be with the kids, or if that is their agreement. Nothing is better than if a woman can be a stay at home Mom. This is the best scenario.

Men in my generation or at least my Spanish / Irish culture have always protected their women and it was always a matter of pride to support them. Being unemployed was a loss of identity and unacceptable.

These guys today have no idea what it is to sacrifice. They think that once they graduate from college they are qualified to do something. They aren't. They are entitled brats.





- Response by buffer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Retired

Rating Received:


I don't think it's any of my business how other people arrange their lives.

- Response by tabbycat1, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, London, Internet / New Media

Rating Received:


I think most men want to work and provide for their families. There are still those that expect to have either the government or women taking care of them. None of the men in my family ever took a penny from the government and all worked to support their families. All the women do too. lol Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


I guess it depends on the situation. My husband was without work for like a month, so he stayed home with the kids (saving us about $300 a week) so in reality he was still pulling his weight in contributing to the household. In this day and age, anything is possible... the man could be the sole provider one day, and the next day be jobless. Nothing is guaranteed in this economy, so you make do with what you can the best way you know how. For some families, it works better for the woman to be the breadwinner and the man stays home. It's not really anyones business to judge the dynamics of other households just because it differs from what was considered the norm several years ago.

- Response by nonnahsvd, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:


thing is who pays the bills/and who runs the chit....

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

Rating Received:


I see no problem with that?

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

Rating Received:


No, I don't think it's human nature. That's like saying every woman wants to be a stay at home mom. I think that roles are defined by society and culture. If a wife wants to work and be the provider and the husband wants to stay at home to take care of the kids...then more power to them!

- Response by birdland, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

Rating Received: