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Is 32 too old to still live at home?
Family & Parenting / 1:32 PM - Friday December 28, 2012

Is 32 too old to still live at home?

I just turned 32. My dad passed away 3 years ago. I'm staying at home to help mom out, we split the bills. I'm an only child so I kind of feel like it's the right thing to do. But, when my dad was alive I stayed here because they didn't get along. I have never left. I feel like I stay out of guilt. How old is too old to stay here? I feel like it's wrong. But at the same time I'm comfortable here.

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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you are using your father's arguing and passing as an excuse not to leave. wake up and live your life.

- Response by wakeforester, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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Community Rating: Community Star

Sharing bills helps make it easy to make ends meet.
No age is too old to stay at home, and it is wonderful that you have a home life with your mom.

- Response by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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You are too old to be there, unless you plan NEVER to get out or get married.

I know several women my age, who still live with their mothers... because they are confortable, the father died ( or dissapeared), and they both share the bills. So sad. These women have lost her youth justified by the "need " of their mothers.

They dont date, and year after year they are there.. same as you...because it seems the right thing to do.

To me, it is only a way of not being responsible of their own lives.

They expect others to value the way they dedicate their life to their mothers, but I can tell you, no one sais "what a good daughter", everyone sais ( maybe behind their back), what a life wasted. I agree

- Response by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Your NEVER to old, don't let pier pressure push you into anything you don't want or feel is right in your own heart.

It doesn't make you any more undesirable to any MAN, and if it did then that person is not a real MAN but looking at things superficially and that is good for you to now too.

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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Could both you and mom afford to live separately? It's not just your needs but hers to consider as well. If mom is in her early 50s maybe she would like her "space" and chance to be independent and have a dating life. Maybe you would like that for yourself as well.

When mom is 82 it will be a lot harder for you to say, oh, I changed my mind and want to leave, because by then mom will be dependent on you for much more than finances, and she will have never had the opportunity to be self-sufficient.

But, is it wrong? No, it is not wrong if it works for both of you. Don't let others define "family" for you.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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Helping your mom is a good thing. BUT, what happens when you find someone you wish to have a relationship with and they want to live with you? Are you going to move them in with mom? Or will you leave her hanging to pay everything on her own then? Things to think about.

- Response by azautumn, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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If you have a good job, making good money still living at home shows you fear living alone and being independent. Is your Mother indigent? Are your Father's life insurance and other death benefit not enough for your Mom to be self sustaining financially without you? If the house is too much, it's time to down size to something more affordable so she can live comfortable and you can be an independent adult.

What I see in this situation is, you being your Mom companion until she dies, which could be many, many years from now and with that you'll find yourself isolated, unmarried and no family. And then the resentment will set in and you'll find yourself a unhappy old woman.

Granted the economy has many moving back home because they can't afford housing or don't have the jobs to afford housing depending on where one lives.

You have to figure out what you want for YOUR life. You have been living your life FOR your parents - now Mom - which leaves you with no life of your own. Do you want to have a man in your life? Do you want to get married? Have children? You certainly can't do that living with Mom. Newlywed couples can't have their parents as a part of their marriage as it will cause issues. If you truly need to take care of your indigent Mother, you have her in an assisted living facility or her own apartment where you can watch over her, yet have your own space and own life.

This is what you have to figure out; what YOU want from life and when you expect to start living it too.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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Home is where the heart is, it makes no difference who you share it with or how old you are, home is where you lie and night and feel safe and comfortable.. people that tell you you should be out on your own are talking crap, being home is a feeling, you can get it in a shed on your own or at home with your mum... do what you feel is right for you, and sod the naysayers...

- Response by rumloverreturns, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Glasgow, Other Profession

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A good age to leave home is 22 or so. I am against that kids leave at home while they should still have fun and play but time comes when you feel that you need to leave. I was 22 when I said to myself that I need to get married and leave, my kids were also 22 when they left and got a job and eventually married and never came back. I would never take my kids back, they know that and they respect the fact that I need to have my own life. Please leave before it is too late and you end up a spinster. Your mom will be dead one day too and you will be unmarried in your 40s and childless. If your mom was fair to you she should push you out.

- Response by ana325, A Career Woman, Female, 56-65, Other Profession

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My question si what are you afraid of. I am sorry but you sound like my cousin. Do you also need your mom's opinion about everything to who you date as well? Look it was nice to help your mom, but again what are you afraid and you need to get out and travel and be on your own to live your own life. You have not lived your life and I feel sorry for you. Look I am from a Latina family and no one kicks you out. I was 23 when I told my parents I was moving out because it was time for me to go because I wanted to grow up and be the person I need to be. What dreams do you have? Live them.
Don't throw your youth away. Life is too short and live your own life. Your mom will be just fine.

- Response by womanv, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, New York, Self-Employed

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too old is when you are not living your life and hiding from the world.

my boss lives with his parents for similar reasons. he did live out of the house for a year he said, just to see what he was missing and he nearly starved. kinda sad actually. but he has lived with his parents all but that one year. he is also an "only" and he takes care of their finances since they retired. he is 47. he also has never been married.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 26-28, Los Angeles

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In your case, I believe it is ok. However, I strongly urge you not to get comfortable with it. You need to venture out on your own. It isn't easy, but that's the point. You'll have to learn how to survive in ways you can't do while being supported by a parent. And, even if you work and pay for most of your own things.

Living at home without paying full rent or mortgages and utilities, with all kind of unexpected emergencies that can come up, doesn't allow for you to learn how to deal with things like that. If it's no problem for your parent, it shouldn't be a problem for strangers who don't know you both. But, you asked about being too old. It isn't the age.

Many people live at home for various reasons who are even older. But, just to have it easy and be comfortable isn't one I believe will be very helpful, once you're required to have to support yourself. Good luck.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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You are right in the sense that it is not very common to live with your parents at the age of 32. However, you say you feel comfortable but you think it is wrong just because of your age? I think you should not really worry about what the majority of society does, but about what YOU yourself want to do. Do you WANT to stay at your parents or do you WANT to move out?

From your story I conclude you single? Then I do not really see what is the problem with living with your parents. You have a job of your own probably and you meet people regularly on that basis? Then who cares how you live?

- Response by koekje, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Student

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you only have one mom, enjoy her and help her....as long as you two get along, there should be no major problems....

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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I left home at 18 to join the military. When I got out four years later, my mother really wanted me to move back in with her. I didn't do it, not because I cared whether or not I was "too old", but just because I wanted to live my life without the feeling that my mom was watching me make all of the mistakes that I was dying to make. :-) If my relationship had been different, or if I had been more settled, I might have well have stayed. Point is, it's not what other people think, it's how YOU feel about it; if you (and your mother) are contented and happy with the arrangement, then by all means enjoy your time together. Best wishes.

- Response by jteneyes, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Technical

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22yrs old is too old to live at home.

Yes, be very ashamed you live at home. Dont you have any prode at all? And qyuit playing the death card. That's toal BULLSHIT.

Grow up.

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Celebrity

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Your "comfortable here"...then u "feel like its wrong"??

Anyway....your helping your mom, your paying half of the bills--u sound responsible to me. So, I don't get it....I think maybe its that you might lack privacy?? A man....get out and find, u one. ijs....am I wrong, not sure??

- Response by pinknblu, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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