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Can a man ever change his mind about wanting a relationship with a woman?
Sex & Intimacy / 10:51 PM - Sunday December 23, 2012

Can a man ever change his mind about wanting a relationship with a woman?

There is sex involved and he has said that there is nothing else beyond the sex. That it is a stress reliever between two adults who are obviously attracted to one another sexually. He cares very much for her, and is there for her whenever she needs him, but he has said there is nothing more. Both of them are my friend and they've had this on again off again deal for many years. The circle of friends we have all see that they care for each other alot, and have even told him that they are meant for each other. Yet he balks at it and says no. On one hand I see the two of them as great together and on the other a toxic set. I don't know what else to say to her that I haven't already said to her. Could I be wrong that he won't change his mind? Could he see what everyone else see's?

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Well, first of all, ANY person can change his/her mind about ANYTHING. Beware generalizations that tell you what all guys do or don't do. They're never 100% accurate.

Next, I think that the two people involved in a particular relationship -- however you define it -- are in the best position to know what works for them. You like your friends and want them to be happy; that's natural. But resist the urge to try to bring about something that at least one of them has expressed is NOT what he wants right now. If it happens, it happens. But on their terms.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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She needs to lay it on the line....either they are a couple or they are not and if they are not than she needs to do the tough thing and tell him that if they are not she isn't going to see him anymore in order to make room for someone who does care enough about her and love her enough to shout it not only to the moon but to all their friends. She needs to tell him that she isn't looking for marriage but she does want a long term committed relationship and all that this involves and if he isn't going to give her that then she will find someone who will. And then she needs to cut his ass off. Why does someone allow themselves to go on and on without a commitment...without living together and declaring they are a couple? What is that about?

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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Community Rating: Community Star

Yeah, they can. Its POSSIBLE but very unlikely.
I wouldn't hope or bet on it.

If you WANT that to happen, it never will.
Men like a "chase" very much.

So, if a gal is GENUINELY NOT interested in him as a person and does NOT enjoy conversation with him, but alas, they are fuck buddies and SHE loves this arrangement, then THIS is the time that a MAN would want a relationship.
When she doesn't LIKE HIM and is standoffish. It drives a man CRAZY. It is highly hard to fake NOT being interested when you really are, if not impossible.

Gals who are not interested are 'borderline RUDE' and just leave after fucking. Strangely, I've had that genuine non-interest ATTRACT like 3 guys in my life, and that disinterest in itself made them want something more.
They like a chase.

Its just unfortunate I REALLY WASN'T INTERESTED IN THEM! I was just getting my "dick-fix" and I can' STAND Pot-smokers, skinny as a twig-like men, etc, etc, etc.. They had MAJOR deal-breakers going on for me.

- Response by discotrash, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Las Vegas, Other Profession

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