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If HE doesn't call or confirm our date, should I? Or is that desperate??
Dating / 8:26 PM - Sunday November 11, 2012

If HE doesn't call or confirm our date, should I? Or is that desperate??

Theres a guy who asked for my number recently. I saw him again at a social event over the weekend.

He kissed me goodnight and asked me out. We didnt set a date as he said he'd call me, but we aimed for the date to be mid-this-coming week (wed or thurs). I know hes super busy. I havent heard from him yet, if I dont by Mon or Tues, should I text him or will that seem desperate??

On one hand, texting him will show that I'm interested, that I'm taking initiative and shows im not waiting around, but on the other, i kinda feel like it will make me seem DESPERATE and that I care about it more than him. I was hoping he'd call tonight to confirm.

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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Since there's already been an initial discussion about going out, I don't think you'd sound desperate just to restart the conversation. But since there's been no final plan re: date, time, activity, etc. I think you need to play iy cool. He might think that there's no "date" until final plans are made, so you don't want to contact him and demand details.

I think better would be to just say "hey," and remind him that you're out there without hinting too hard that you're interested. If he wasn't drunk when he asked you or just trying to get away, he'll likely pick up on your interest without you sounding obsessed. Good luck.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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If you text or call him first you'll lose the upper hand, I would wait for him to make the effort first.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Community Rating: Community Star

i agree with mike, the "upperhand"?? in what? you are not even dating and thats game playing.. just drop a simple text and say

hey, I know we talked about getting together this week, wasn't sure if we were still on.. hope you had a great week, just drop me a line when you get a chance..

then leave it at that :)

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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Call because you are a busy person as well and if he's serious about getting together you would like to keep a slot in your schedule available for him. This demonstrates that you are not a last minute kind of person and that you are interested but not desperate.

- Response by buzzbuzzbuzz, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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So what happened, did he ever call you? did you call him?

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Wait for him, the worst that could happen is that he forgets altogether, and in the end do you really want to be with someone who thinks so little of you that they could forget a date they set up themselves? Also, try not to think about it too much, it's only building up expectations for the guy to try and fill, not really fair to either of you.

- Response by kihng, A Creative, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Celebrity

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I can only say what I would do. If he doesn't call, he probably isn't that into you. If you were to text him to follow up, it would show you don't have much of a life. He's the one who asked you out. If it were a solid invitation, it would have a set date and time. Since it didn't, do the math. Go on with your life and make plans like you would for any affair that comes up. If he happens to call to schedule something, and you already have something firmed up, you can let him know. I wouldn't play games, though....If I don't really have something scheduled and I'm interested in him, I would accept his offer for a date.

- Response by puka1999, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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If he's interested, he will call you. Since he didn't specify a date or an activity -- he really didn't 'ask you out'.

He said something along the lines of "Wanna hang some time?"

That is NOT asking a lady out on a date.

"Wendy, would you like to go listen to a holiday concert this Wednesday?" -- that is asking you out on a date.

The only reason he even mentioned anything during this week is because he was embarrassed he never called you after you gave him your number the first time.

Leave him alone. He'll call if he's interested. Sounds like you are doing all the chasing.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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