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Dating in middle age
Dating / 11:52 AM - Saturday October 13, 2012

Dating in middle age

I am dating again but come into with little expectation. Many guys divorced after 20 yars of marriage are still hung up on their exs. Some see you as an extension of their ex and want to go into "marriage mode" right away. A date or two and then they want to stay home be intimate and watch tv. I'm confused as to what my expectations should be? Do I expect anything other then companionship at this point? I don't want to get married again. But don't want to extend myself too much and get nothing back.

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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Keep looking but be prepared to be alone. Older men have to relearn everything. THey are very complacent and think new women are the same as the last woman they had. I think you should expect WHAT YOU WANT and WHAT makes you happy. If a guy is boring you 2 dates in, run away! I know, if I was single again, I would rather be alone than be a maid for someone or get married in a flash. Any man who wants you should WORK to be with you, just like you WORK to be with them.

- Response by simmering, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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1. never date separated or people who's divorce is very new-- under 1 year divorced

2. as soon as you here i hate my ex/ miss my ex-- run

3. refuse to have stay at home booty call dates until you have been dating a considerable time

- Response by galdeen, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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Funny.
I have been single for the last 15 years and find most guys can't stand their exes.

If you sertle for a stay at home dinner and a booty call instead of an adventure.
Shame on you. Lol

You set the tone and temp for what you expect, they either rise to your expectations or move on.

Much more enjoyable this way.

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Guadalajara, Self-Employed

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It's a matter of finding some one that feels the same way.I did at 50 years old and remarried.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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It's funny to read the "kid" version of middle age America.

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55

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Good question, let me know when you figure it out! I've been divorced for some time now, done a lot of dating, and have often had similar thoughts. As a result I think I've learned to just take relationships one day at a time. Appreciate the good moments, limit your expectations and hope your gut/heart will let you know if you should open yourself up to something more.

- Response by daydreamer1, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Chicago, Managerial

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You are the captain of your own ship and you decide where to sail. You should never extend yourself, take each adventure as an opportunity for YOU. If "marriage mode" men are not suitable for you, then don't sail in those waters. Make your mind up as to what you are really looking for in a relationship, then go for it. Never settle for less.

- Response by 3wiltedroses, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Self-Employed

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Speaking as a former widower ... I found that most women preferred divorce to a widower. They simply don't want to compete with a memory. It's unfortunate since, in my mind, every woman is distinctly separate and special in her own right.

- Response by ilom, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Halifax, Science / Engineering

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I don't believe being middle-aged has ANYTHING to do with the quality of the man or relationship YOU DESIRE or should expect. Society shouldn't dictate what type of expectations you should have just because you're middle-aged and single. YOU KNOW what you want in a man and a dating relationship. It will either happen or it will not.

But, don't let society's low percentage rates for middle-aged people make you give up on the chance of you meeting someone who want the same thing you want. Bad experiences in dating, incompatibility, and listening to others tell you what to expect, will make you become disillusioned. You seek the type of man and relationship you want. When you find it, enjoy it.

With all due respect, it appears you get little from the men you meet, because you seek little and you give little trying to be safe. You're going to run into men whose expectations and are different from yours. But, this happens at any age. Yes, standards are pretty much becoming extinct. People have suffered all kind of crap from their marriages and relationships.

So, they're not looking for much more than companionship and a great sex life. They simply want to be free to have this with anyone they choose. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a one-sided relationship. But YOU are the one to keep that from happening. It doesn't have to be at the expense of enjoying dating.

Don't have high expectations when you meet a man. Just be who you are. Get to know them. Enjoy them. I believe there are older men out there still who want a relationship like you. You simply have to socialize and go where those men are. But, don't ask society what THEY believe you should expect or settle for as a middle-aged person. This society does not favor single and over 40. Good luck.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Find a friend first that is your expectation. They don't have to be perfect (u know, none of usu are) but, they must be nice and you must like being around them. You are checking them out to see if they are worthy of your trust (hope this helps and I know for a fact this is the best route) you don't owe anyone a meal. Get to know them cheaply and find something you can both enjoy ie, bowling, going to the car show, taking a walk in the park. If he is worthy he will want to get to know you. If he wants to use you for sex and a meal you have better things to do

- Response by shosh, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Senior poleple looking for love. older men dating younger women agelesscupid#com

- Response by donnacc12, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

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Keep at it. As with men of any age, middle age guys come in a variety of styles and colors. Eventually you will meet a guy that will spark your interest and not have any emotional hangups about previous spouses or lovers.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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what ideally do you look in a man and dating him?
what do you look for in a man and dating habits?
if he does want all the taking and not giving...then there are red flags in the relationship

- Response by flwoodpecker, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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Don't settle for less than what you want out of life and from a partner. You only get to go around once in this life. Might as well get what you want. I went after what I wanted and scored. Meaning I got a gentlemen who treats me like a princess and really cares about my needs as a friend, and lover. Take your time to get to know someone, Don't rush into a relationship because you think you are not worthy of something better. I dated my now husband for months (5) before being intimate and got married after two years together. I have never been happier in my life.

- Response by 1tazzy, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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