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Married man in love...not with his wife...
Married Life / 11:01 PM - Sunday August 26, 2012

Married man in love...not with his wife...

Have a friend who's dealing with a married man. He's liked her for over 10 years, and she always turned down his advances b/c he's married. Now she's grown feelings for him (she caved and they've been seeing each other for a few months).

He keeps telling her how much she means to him but I think he's playing "having his cake abd eating it" with her. I'm sure he likes her but he's not left the marriage. Mind you he has kids with his wife.

To me it's a dead end situation but what do you think?

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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Your friend's future is deem
Her heart will feel the pain
when he betrays her
If the love in his heart for his
wife had deminished he would of left her
He now has the enjoyment of both women
His future will continue, as long as his Wife
continues in the dark. Your friend has no future
as long as he is standing in front of her door
of her future
She will not be able to look any further than him
and that is sad and she continues to betray her own
future and happiness.
He will promise her that he will leave his wife for her
but this will not be so.
A woman must give herself the respect that she deserves
because if she doesn't no one will give it to her
He does not respect your friend.
He has shown that with his own actions.
She is not his Wife only a mistress how sad.
Only she can change her future and I hope she does.

- Response by lakotaindiangirl, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Consulting

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I don't really know what to say to that. I don't think he will leave his wife and kids if he is really really seriously in love. Hard to say.

- Response by allyirls, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, New York, Fashion

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I think that YOU know it is a dead end situation.

And I think YOU also know that YOU should walk away and preserve YOUR heart.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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there are so many good bachelors out there.why is she clinging onto a married man who is still living with his family?!...doesn't sound good to me.

- Response by smokys, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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I don't have on my judge's robe tonight. They are consenting adults- will he leave his wife?- 50/50 - either he will or he won't - he wants pleasure and he found it. She has pleasure and she knows the deal. This is the 21st century - relationships come in all shapes and sizes. The only thing that is 100% is death- you better live while you can! If it bothers you stay out of her affair- tell her you do not approve or are afraid she will be hurt......
Humans are driven to survive not be happy or perfect


- Response by sweetshyfree1, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Good heavens, 10 years is a long time. It's not unheard of for a guy to end up with the other woman if he's wanted her that long (look at Prince Charles), but it's rare. The one thing that's guaranteed, whether anything lasting comes of it or not, is drama, so be prepared.

- Response by tabbycat1, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, London, Internet / New Media

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I agree he's using her. He likes her alright, but not in a way that can be appreciated. She messed up. 10 years is a long time and she did well before she caved. Now she's opened herself up to these feelings and a great possibility for disappointment because if he were that unhappy for the last 10 years he would have left by now. She has lowered her standards and have to wonder why she changed her mind. Now she's in position to be strung along and let down knowing full aware why she's told herself for so long why he wasn't meant to be available for her.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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He's liked your friend for 10 years and is unhappily married? If he's been unhappy for so long, why isn't he divorced? It's very possible that he is unhappy, but that doesnt mean he is going to leave his wife! Couples often stay together for reasons other than love. Finances, children, etc. It is also very possible that he has feelings for your friend and if she is willing to be the other woman, it's a win win for the guy...but not for your friend. The longer she stays with this guy, the stronger her feelings will get, and the harder it will be when she finds herself alone on her Birthday and Christmas and New Years Eve, etc.
If he hasn't left his wife by now, what makes her think he'll do it for her? And does she want to be the other woman? Or the woman that broke up a family? There are plenty of single guys out there, go for one of them! And as a last thought, would she want her husband cheating on her?? Karma is a bitch and what goes around comes around. As women we need to respect each other and leave someone elses man alone! If he truly cares for your friend, let him leave his wife before she sees him again.

- Response by jaicee711, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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if she is in it for fun and they are having fun, enjoy! why not. if she is thinking long term relationship or waiting for him to leave wifey, that is not healthy. if they are on the same page then all the power to them.

- Response by totallystitchnmom, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Toronto

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Tell ur friend she isn't special. He's not gonna leave his wife for her. They arnt gonna live happily ever after. Ur friend is just a mistress. That's all she's gonna be. Tell her to get some self respect as well as respect for others and walk away from situation. And btw she should be ashamed of herself she's just as low as he is.

- Response by aco57, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Pittsburgh

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I agree with you. It's certainly a dead end situation for her, because if he will leave his present wife for her she can never be sure that he won't leave her for yet another woman. Warn your friend. This man has a dangerously flawed character, and she is in the center of the danger zone.

- Response by 2wheels, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Retired

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Plenty of marriages work with "love" while not being "in love". If she likes him then she may have to accept the fact he may never leave. Unless that is what he promised at the on start (that he was leaving his wife) then it shouldn't be a issue at this point.

- Response by courage4u, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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She's being played...He's not leaving, not after 10 years.

- Response by cocoacurevelous, A Hip Hop Girl, Female, 46-55, Administrative

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Infidelity is insanity. To think that you can engage in this kind of behavior and create happiness for anyone is insane. But are we not creatures of passion?

Yes, it's dead end. Yes, people, including your friend, will hurt.

Sorry.

- Response by kravjar666, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Consulting

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