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Im going through an ugly break up...
Dating / 2:06 AM - Sunday June 24, 2012

Im going through an ugly break up...

We have been together for almost 3 years.
We have had a long distance relationship for about a year.
In the past, I have cheated on her multiple times. By saying I was single to meet other incounters and have kisssed my old ex a couple of times.
My new ex has forgiven me, but hasnt moved from whats happened. And has eaten her up in the inside. Yet we stayed together.

However. A month before the break up.
She has been seeing another guy. The guy knew we were already in a relationship. She told him it was ok with her to do what theyre doing and just started getting into a new relationship with him. She has slept with him several nights, and then would come home to spend time with me as if everything was ok.
And then once we broke up, she had told me everything. We had tried to work it out. I have told her I would marry her and get past this together. But she has pretty much moved on.
I told her she is rebounding. As if we only dated for 2 months, rather then the reality of nearly 3 years of being together.
Lately, she has been thinking.... (from what I read and what her friends told me)
Oh, and we broke up 2 weeks ago...

So please, help me out.
Try not to be too mean...

- Asked by A Creative, Male, 22-25, San Jose

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The question here is, "WHy do you two want to be together?". Never one of you know how to be honest and exclusive with each other. Your idea of proposing marriage was going to keep at bay was a bad idea. The relationship will only turn out worst then what is going on now. The two of you needs to be split, out of all relationships and seek help or take time out of yourselves. Jumping out of the fire and into the next is not fair to new companions. They need to be with people who are positive and not vindictive. Put time into you and then see what is down road for relationships.

- Response by lowmy, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Baltimore, Science / Engineering

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Your mom posted 21 hours ago this same thing about you. You should read some of those answers.

Q: My son is going through a nasty breakup, any advise on healing.

Him and his ex have been together for almost 3 years. During that time, he has cheated several times on her. Saying he would be single and meet encounters. He has confessed a couple times and has been cought the rest. She has forgiven him and moved on, but then when things would go well, the cheating would happen again.
However. She cheated on him back with a new boy friend she has now. She kept this from him for a month until she told him after the break up. Her new boy friend new about what was going on and was ok with it.
Now, its been 2 weeks since they have broken up.
And shes starting to think about what she has done. And now she feels unsure about everything.

I would like to hear on what you people think.
- Asked by A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Sacramento, Home Maker

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Community Rating: Community Star

You cheated.
She cheated.
Neither of you love each other enough to stop. So, it's over.
Now, it's time you move on.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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you are young. stand up, brush yourself off... live and learn. this kind of thing happens to many of us.

- Response by wakeforester, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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I am in an almost identical situation right now. Im glad I'm not the only one. The only difference is he cheated, i didn't. We are trying to work things out but its very difficult. If you love her chase her. Im chasing him. If you want support or to sort things out, we can talk. Im feeling alot of what you are, I wont be mean. I hope things work out for you.

- Response by imamazing1117, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Student

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"I have cheated on her multiple times"

I guess the last time was just one time too many. Sooner or later the things you do wrong catch up with you. She cannot put this behind her. I think she struggled with it and tried.

But ultimately she cannot forget what you did and that translates into her never being able to trust you again. Without trust no relationship can endure.

It just can't. I am sorry. But this relationship has been slowly destroyed.

At the least, use this experience for future reference, and the next time you fall in love, DON'T WANDER. Once you break trust, you lose the love.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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