It's not a wife or husband you can't change, it's the person. You cannot force anyone to change who does not want to change. You can take them to therapy, but if they don't want to participate or be helped, they will not benefit. You can put someone in rehab, but if they want to continue to abuse, they will either leave rehab or continue the abuse when they return. I attribute your not being able to understand this to your very young age. You haven't lived enough life or been around people or had enough relationships to know this is the way it is. That's not an insult, that's fact. The fact you ask this question and refer to people by a title rather than as a person is proof of that. You cannot change a person who does not want to change.
If a man sleeps around, exactly what is it you think you can personally do to change him? Tie him up, lock him in the house? You could threaten to leave him, but if he wants to sleep around he'll be glad you're not there to nag him about it.
The only way any person changes is when they hit their personal bottom. It's different for everyone. For one person, it may be losing their family, for another, losing their job or their home. But it's what makes the difference to THEM, not what you think is important.
I think you would do wise to educate yourself on addiction before you ask a question like this because it clearly shows you know nothing about the disease, how to deal with it and the most important thing: you can't take it away from someone and you can't stop what is not under your control.
- Response by diznykd
, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Lawyer