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My boyfriend doesn't give me oral sex?
Sex & Intimacy / 2:23 AM - Monday April 02, 2012

My boyfriend doesn't give me oral sex?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and he just simply doesn't perform oral sex on me enough. MAYBE once a month if I'm lucky, and I usually have to ask for it several times before it actually happens. I have been complimented in the past down there by a few different people so I know that I do not have any issues. I am also very hygienic and freshly showered before fooling around. My boyfriend has told me that he didn't enjoy giving oral in the past and "never did it", but with me he enjoys doing it. I have explained to him that foreplay is important to me and that oral is my favourite-- but it just never happens. I started off by hinting, making jokes, etc, then eventually as I grew more impatient I began asking for it. (Which I'm kind of bitter about, I don't feel I should have to ask. Him just seducing me would be really nice.) After asking for it didn't work I then started to ask him what the problem is and why he avoids it. He has not ever said he doesn't like doing it and swears that he loves my taste and odor (sorry for too much info) and when I ask he doesn't say no but tries to put it off until later, and when later doesn't happen, he says tomorrow, and then that doesn't happen either.

This is starting to become a huge turn off and I hate to sound like a bitch but yes it is a big deal to me. We otherwise have a great relationship with a lot of love, and our sex life is great. I am a very giving partner and up until recently I have felt that we are not even in terms of effort. Lately I just dont even bother because I'm so bitter about this. Oral sex is something that I LOVE and am used to recieving! If he won't provide an explanation or admit that he dislikes doing it, I continue to wonder what the issue is.

I am at a loss of what to do at this point.

Update: April 02, 2012.
Thank you very much to all those who responset. It's comforting to know that other people are going through the same thing. The truth is, I can only climax through clitoral stimulation so my "maybe" once a month is difficult to deal with. I'm a very sexual person and it's pretty bad when you have to pull out a vibrator to do the trick before u have sex with your bf because he doesn't work you up at all.

- Asked by bfj2012, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Winnipeg

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Most women can only climax thru external stimulstion.He should care if you orgasm or not.Why do it if you get little from it.Like you I need oral stimulation.It's a must in my relationships.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Tampa, Who Cares?

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It seems like he doesn't like doing it. I doubt he will tell you the truth because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.. I had a boyfriend once that NEVER did it... He didn't even try lol.. He just didn't think he needed to nor did he care if I did it to him.. But he's another creature.. lol I do believe your bf doesn't enjoy it. He shouldn't be so selfish though... Even if he didn't enjoy giving oral, just the thought of pleasing you should be enough to get him to enjoy it... It seems like it doesn't matter to him whether he pleases you or not. There's no changing him and its not going to get better. That once a month will be once a year some day...

- Response by x3teni, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I am in the same situation as you. but my boyfriend never does it to me. he has in the past, maybe 3 times. he was actually good at it too...

I know I do not have any issues with smell or taste etc. that is not it. he just doesn't like it.

I have asked my guy over the months WHY he doesnt' like it...because there must be some reason. he would say different things to try to avoid saying that he just doesn't want to do it..but bottom line is, he doesn't want to do it.

he is not experienced at it, worries he is not good at it. doesn't enjoy doing it.

it really, really sucks. and I feel exactly like you do on this. for a woman it is a big deal because sometimes we need that in order to have an orgasm. and I love giving him oral adn he loves receiving. but with him not returnign the favor, we can't do 69's etc. it really sucks and limits our sex life.

but bottom line is, if someone is not interested in doing a certain act, we can't force them to do it...and even if they did it to please us, it wouldn't feel right because we would know they are kind of hating it and it doesn't feel as good when you know the person is just doing it for a duty call.

but it does really suck.

all my life, I have had men who can't get enough of my taste and I know it is not bad. I often will have sex with my b/f and then I end up giving him oral after, in a sense tasting myself. no problem there. these dudes just arent into it. and it really short changes us.

- Response by fondacox, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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Hi, I have EXACTLY the same problem as you. I've now reached a point where I'm starting to feel resentment toward him for not giving me oral, especially when I have explained to him that it is important to me - I think that should mean something to him. I'm sick and tired of longing for it. I hate that I fantasies about having it done to me. I am now asking myself if this is something I'm willing to give up for the rest of y life?? It's kinda depressing. I'm not even asking for it everytime. Just at least once a month. I get it 3-4 times a year and am feeling ripped off. A lover I had a couple of years ago was really into it and it made me feel amazing - not just the physical effect of it but also knowing that he was happy to just really enjoy my body. I'm tired of discussing this with my boyfriend. He says he will and then doesn't deliver. And its been a year since he did it without asking. What to do?! It's quite the dilemma. If I break up with him over it I'll be heartbroken. I wish there was an easy answer.

- Response by trinityisland47, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Melbourne

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Well you shouldn't have to ask for it. That makes you feel unloved and like you are begging him.

I don't see how he enjoys doing it if it is only once a month. And it is very telling that he says he never did it in the past. That means he doesn't really like it. If he did, he would be volunteering instead of you asking him all the time.

If it's something you can't do without, then it looks like this situation will not get any better. Once a month now will be twice a year later. And then it will be never.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Either he doesn't like it and doesn't want to say anything about it, or he feels as though he doesn't do a very good job at it and needs encouragement. A lot of guys aren't honest about what they feel if they think it will make them look bad in any way. I'm in the opposite situation of yours. I love going down, but my current gf thinks it's nasty (something about not wanting to feel like she's eating herself out), but I deal with it because sex is not the most important thing with her.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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Scream "LICK ME BOZO!"
then, he'd get a clue.

- Response by mikegeeboyd, A Life of the Party, Male, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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some guys do not like to do it and some girls simply do not taste good not sure which is your problem

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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If you want to know what you taste like, kiss him, after he's gone down on you. Then you will know. The body scent does change just before your period. Some guys love to do it, because they are skilled at it. And others do not, just like some women do or do not like giving oral sex. I can come during intercourse with the right lover. You should learn to relax more, and have him finger you too, and flick your clit. He may not be a very sexual person, and you may not match, so you have to figure it out. And believe it or not, I believe most women, with a good lover, can come during sexual intercourse. I could not come that way with my first bf, but definitely with my second. Same thing, with my former best friend. So, you either love your man for who he is, and how he treats you, or start exploring your sexuality elsewhere, because we cannot always have the perfect guy, that is good at everything, no matter what we do. Or make it a game, and do a 69, give him some too.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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i love giving and recieving oral, you may have to find a guy that likes to eat you, but try 69 maybe if he is getting it at the same time, he will respond

- Response by frycook, A Career Man, Male, 46-55, Food Service

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lets get together and let me give it to you every day./

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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he needs to be honest with you - so you can decide if this is what you want...

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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You talk about getting your cookies if you will, when it comes to sex, but you don't talk too much about what you do for him. I'm just pointingthat out in observation of your post. That might be the issue. Are you doing oral for him? Why not force a 69 on him and make him do oral if you are giving him oral? Pretty simple solution if you think about it. He only gets oral when you do.

- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Anything that starts to get under your skin like this will continue to do so unless there is some resolution. Been there, done that.

- Response by kravjar666, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Consulting

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I am going thru something similar, he says he likes doing it,he is good at it,i enjoy it,i just dont understand why once a month.only exceptable time is week of n after period, the other 2weeks.i wanna have fun all I get is a lil rub and good sex but same ol positions. It aint me hell ill time him up dress up heels n stuff talk dirty he just dont seem interested and its been 4yrs got to be solved b4 I marry him!

- Response by ginalocacina, Female, 26-28, Tampa

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