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Does anyone else feel like they were meant to be alone
Dating / 10:49 PM - Sunday February 19, 2012

does anyone else feel like they were meant to be alone

i'm beginning to wonder if i'm just not meant to have a relationship. i've been divorced for over 8 years from a man who was emotionally & physically abusive. last year i ended a 4 1/2 year relationship with a man who lied and deceived me throughout the time we were together. at that point i decided that i wanted time to myself to think about what i would and wouldn't accept from a partner if i did ever find myself in a new relationship. then, out of nowhere i meet this guy who is kind, respectful & enjoys lots of the same things i do. we've been seeing each other for 2 months and things have been good. then, this weekend, out of the blue, i can feel myself pulling away, not wanting to be touched by him & just all out feeling agitated. i think i might be losing my mind. all i wanted today was to be alone without anyone else around, including him. what is wrong with me?!? here is this man who is gentle, kind & laughs at my ridiculous sense of humor & all i wanted to do was run the other way. there are some days when i am so lonely i can hardly stand it & all i want is someone to be with. so, WHY, now that it seems i've found just that, all i want is to be alone...

- Asked by bearcat35, A Hippie Chick, Female, 36-45

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It's because you are a self saboteur. And in being one, you choose the relationship that will end badly. And when you find yourself in a "too good to be true" relationship, you need to find a way to sabotage it. That is what is happening now. And it is why you are now in the mantra of "not meant to have a relationship". If you continue to let your negativity rule your mind, you will kill the relationship. Get some counseling to discover insight to yourself and why you choose poorly and when you do choose well, you need to sabotage it. Good luck

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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I'm so sorry *hugs*. I think what is going on here is that you have never really recovered from your first marriage. You say he was mentally and physically abusive. That creates DEAP scars. It's the reason why you can't open yourself up to love, trust, and want to get close to someone again. I think you should seek some therapy to work on your past in order to be able to foster a new relationship. If you don't, you're just going to keep finding yourself in the same situation.

- Response by nico76, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Sounds like you don't know how to handle a good relationship with someone that treats you with love and respect. You're used to drama and abuse. You're conditioned to negative relationships. Now you're pushing this man away.

- Response by sheilacat30, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Chicago

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Sounds like a spontaneous reaction to former losses, to protect yourself from a repeat. Let him know what is going on. Nothing as as fear inspiring as trying to read someones mind. Then find a good counselor who can give you some clues and some shortcuts to burying this ghost of the past. Good Luck.

- Response by rekkonball, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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I'm sorry to tell you this but you're normal. You dated a lot of twits and now that you've met someone decent you're scared. That's perfectly ok. I went through the same thing. I dated not only a couple of total losers but abusers. I finally met a man who was kind, decent, sweet, calm, not real out there exciting every moment, like some men I had dated, but liked being quietly together sometimes. Not every date needed to be a roller coaster ride, sometimes just a quiet lunch or hot chocolate on the pier. Hang in there girl. You deserve what sounds like a very nice man. I've been with my husband 11 years now, happily, hilariously and lovingly. It's ok to let go, just take it slow and trust. Not all guys are jerks. Promise.

- Response by diznykd, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Lawyer

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Were your parents alcoholics? There is a reason I ask that...

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Other Profession

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Maybe you just need a bit of space. Everybody needs to be alone sometimes. Take 3 or 4 nights off and see if you start to miss him again. I usually do.

- Response by jadeiris, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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I don't like being alone. I have been engaged twice, and cheated on twice. I just pick winners. Trust me... you don't want to be alone.

- Response by wakeforester, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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I have thought that many times! My son says I was meant to be a mom, but maybe not married. I love being alone, and not having to try keeping a man happy all the time!

- Response by cougar01, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Well....it makes life a LOT less complicated.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Retired

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