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Why does my boyfriend want to keep our relationship a secret? :'(
Sex & Intimacy / 1:17 AM - Sunday January 08, 2012

Why does my boyfriend want to keep our relationship a secret? :'(

Well, my boyfriend and I have been dating since June and we both attend the same university. He's really sweet and I adore the time we spend together. He's a DJ on our campus and in the area so he's always on the go and usually has a lot of females around him. Trust me we've had our fair share of arguments about the groupies but that's not the subject at hand. My boyfriend pretty much refuses to acknowledge our relationship in public. I can't get a hug or kiss, we don't hold hands or anything. He's even gone so far as to only call me his friend when we're out and happen to run into one of his friends. He hates that I put his name in my bio on twitter because it states he's my boyfriend and even called me to ask me to remove it. We've had numerous talks about this but he just says he doesn't wan't people in our business and while I understand that they don't have to be. All I wan't is acknowledgement. People can know OF our relationship without knowing DETAILS. I just hate that he can't see how much this hurts my feelings. It makes me feel like he's ashamed of me and even like he might be cheating. I feel like I shouldn't stay in a relationship if I'm going to be kept a secret. In my eyes it's disrespectful. I don't know what to do. How would you feel if you were in my situation? Why do you think he's doing this to me?

PS. Today's his Bday & I tweeted text msgd and FB'd him making sure that I mentioned the fact that he was my boyfriend. He hasn't responded to any of my posts but he has responded to friends and girls calling him baby and other affectionate nicknames. :'(



Update: January 08, 2012.
I know he'll be upset that I sent it. Thats why I did it. I just wanted to see if he would finally acknowledge our relationship in public and he hasn't. It hurts. & If I leave him it'll still hurt...

Update: January 08, 2012.
I know he'll be upset that I sent it. Thats why I did it. I just wanted to see if he would finally acknowledge our relationship in public and he hasn't. It hurts. & If I leave him it'll still hurt...

- Asked by kennedyjayden, An Engaged Girl, Female, 22-25, Paris, Student

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Lemme be the one to tell you. He is either ashamed of you or he you are NOT his only chick.

Plain and simple, a man will hold hands with his woman, kiss her, hug her, and everything. If he isn't ashamed of her or if he's really with her, EVERYONE knows on a serious day what the deal is.

DON'T play yourself on this one. You are NOT number one in his eye. You're playing second (or third, fourth, etc.) fiddle to some other woman. WAKE UP.

- Response by king313, An Engaged Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

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Community Rating: Community Star

man i hate when a woman Types stupid shit on Facebook ...or Likes somethiung that someone else says to try and draw attention to herself on Facebook............. Thats Insecure... but hey if he doesnt acknowledge your Relationship...its because he doesnt want you to be his Thing

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Your bf is a player who is keeping his options open darlin. Lack of a declaration here isn't about business when he does this with his friends. He is cruising on the downlow...and if that is not your gig you ought to opt out.

- Response by joybird, A Career Man, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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King's right. I think if he doesn't have other women, then he is still playing the field. I understand the privacy issue, but it sounds like there is more there. He's also probably also going to mad that you posted those things on his pages. I would call him on it and see what he says... and I'd also be careful with your heart. If a guy loves you, then he doesn't hide you from his friends--especially after six months. I don't think he is ashamed of you, though, I think he is just trying to still be with other women and likes all the attention he gets from them.




- Response by undecidedfuture1, A Creative, Female, 36-45

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If it were me, my feelings would be very hurt too. And, I would be confused about my actual 'status' in this person's life.

If I were your Mom, I would want my pretty daughter to be with someone who was proud to be seen with her.

- Response by feralberyl, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Columbus, Other Profession

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Except for part about your sexual preference being bisexual which confused me and it might be a reason for his behavior
from rest of what i read and saw you are : Young Pretty And Educated You Got it all you need to have great boyfriend and quality and satisfying relationship with "someone else" other then him.

Get out and find that someone else like now !!!

- Response by shygirl1979, A Career Woman, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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He's dating other people. No normal guy would ever hide such a beautiful woman from his friends/family/acquaint ances, etc.
He doesn't want people to know about you only because he's pretending to be serious with you and doesn't want you to find out, I think you should leave him, he's playing you.

And I also think you already know this, and that you're probably just asking for permission to do something that you know you should do. Well you have it. From all of us. Please break up with this asshole and find a guy who will treat you like the princess that you are and put you first in his life :)
At least right up there with work and friends and such. You deserve it!

- Response by fluffyducky, A Player, Female, 26-28

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You are a beautiful young woman and it's just red flags from what I see the way he is treating you. It probably means that he has other women he is seeing and won't even acknowledge that your his girl in public. So he still wants to be seen as single. He likes the attention he is getting from other women. I think you know what this means

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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I can see why you are upset. he might not be into PDA but that is not the issue at hand. he doesn't want anyone knowing he is in a relationship with anyone.

given that he is a DJ and has a group following of women, maybe he doesn't want anyone to know he has a g/f because he wants to get with some of these ladies when he is DJing?? or maybe he get drinks bought for him etc like DJs often do and he thinks that if people know he is with someone, all that will stop.

he should be ok with people knowing that he has a g/f and that the g/f is you. it is fine if he doesn't want to kiss or talk about too much in public, because maybe he just really doesnt like PDA, but the fact that you are his g/f should be ok to him.



- Response by fondacox, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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sister, ask him.
you have a right to get it from the horse's mouth.

- Response by flwoodpecker, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Other Profession

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