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My boyfriend has been texting another girl...
Race, Religion & Politics / 1:44 PM - Thursday November 10, 2011

My boyfriend has been texting another girl...

We have the same cellphone plan so I can see his phone records, but all I can see is the date and time of the text and the number. He's been texting this number everyday all day and night sometimes until like 3 in the morning so I called the number and its a girl. Does anyone know if I go to tmobile can they give me a record of what the messages say? He's already erased the messages off his phone so I'm really scetched out about that. I'm not the primary person on the account but I am on the account, so does anyone know if I can do this?

- Asked by Female, 26-28

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I had this exaaact problem! I went to sasktel and asked but i doubt they are the same but they told me there is no way to get the message history. At all. But i know how you feel. I just confronted him
About it and he lied.. Saying he wasnt textig anybody and that i am tripping out. Which obviously was a lie because i called it an it was a girl. So yeah just ask him
About it.. Ask him whos number that is and if he makes so
Ething up like says its his guy friend or something youll know hes lyin. I know it would be nice to just see what hes saying but.. All in all it really doesnt matter. Something is fishy about the situation!! You dont need a lier. Anyways good luck!!!! Stay strong !!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Calgary, Who Cares?

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It doesn't matter what the texts say.

Ask your BF about it directly. See what his response is.

I would say it's time to get on your own cell phone plan and hit delete on your relationship with your (ex) boyfriend.

He's moved on. He's just too chicken shit to tell you.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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Only the primary account holder can request any records, except in the case of a legal battle that would include police, FBI, CIA.

You would need a court order from a judge (and have to state that what he is doing is illegal, which it isn't. No judge would grant an order just so you could see what the messages were).

If you ask him to tell you what they were and why he deleted them, and he says it was nothing or no big deal, or he refuses, then you have to decide if he is lying, playing you or just being an ass. Or all three.

The big issue is trust here. He sounds like he is cheating, even if only emotionally, and you don't trust him.

SO you both have things to talk about with each other.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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I have no idea if Tmobile will give you that info but in my eyes you dont need it. your BF is texting a girl into the wee hours. Give him one chance to explain, if its sketchy then for your own sanity and self worth you need to let him go.

- Response by youngfuddyduddy, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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Why not simply ask him? Not enough drama to slake your thirst?

Are you paying or is he?

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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I have no idea about the phone records, but if I were you, I'd avoid all that work & just ask him. If he's texting another girl & erasing the messages, that's a sign right there that he's saying things he shouldn't be saying while in a relationship. Just talk to him about it & see what's going on. Good luck! :)

- Response by teeray77, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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If you begin snooping it out, you're just going to become part of the problem.

I would ask him about it and be firm on an explanation that really makes sense. If he says that he doesn't know, tell him that you'd like him to contact the billing department and find out.

If he's not willing to do that, I would back off of him until HE is willing to give you more information. =-)

- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Why are men so stupid? He knows better then to have the same plan as you. He needs to wise up.

- Response by snidely1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55

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In this case, you don't really need to know what the messages say; you already know he's texting some other girl. That should be enough for you to detach yourself from him.

- Response by anonymouspersona, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Miami, Administrative

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Do you believe your boyfriend should not text other women? Because, I don't understand why you're concerned if it's his phone, and you already know he would call who he wanted to call. Now, if you believe he's being disrespectful to your relationship, by calling this "other woman" all day, everyday, and at every time of day; or, you think he might be cheating with her, I can see why you're upset.

But, you need to have a talk with him about it. Instead of all of the "cloak and dagger" routines. You both might have the same plan. However, are they both on the same bill? Because, if this is the case, you will not have to worry about snooping. It's right there for you to see. So, with everything being so "open" to your eyes. You shouldn't have a problem with simply talking about what's going on. Now, the "Sherlocking" you're talking about doing is going to cause even more problems.

Because, you're not trusting your boyfriend by doing so. You're now invading his privacy. And, yes; he does still have some. I don't care if you are in a relationship with him. If you don't want to talk to him about what's going on, and you don't trust him, get out of the relationship. But, to try and view the content of his text messages? That is wrong. No matter how you slice it.

Personally, I think after being in a relationship with a man, you should know the type of character he has. Most women who do the type of worrying, distrusting, and detective work, you're doing; usually already know their man is a cheat. Frankly, his behavior alone says it. There is NO REASON for a man in a committed, exclusive, relationship or marriage to call ANY woman with the considerable amount of time he's making to talk to her. He must be sneaking around to do it if you're not seeing him make these calls at 3 am.

Erasing text messages, is no big deal to me. Because, I erase mine immediately. That doesn't mean I have anything to hide. However, if you noticed these text messages are exclusively to her number at different hours of the night or early morning, yeah that's suspect. I feel sorry for women who choose to go through this type of thing in their relationships. Because, I can't be in a relationship where I have to feel like you do, or do the type of things you're pondering.

Because, it simply means you don't trust the man you're with. Without trust, and actions that show you're trustworthy, there is no relationship really. But, this that you're doing is just too much effort on a daily basis to find out if your man is cheating. I'm sorry you're going through it really. Good luck.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Here's the deal you already know he is talking to another woman. Actually you probably know much more then this but here you are still with your boyfriend. My point here is the content of these messages matter little unless you are going to take action i.e. confront him and leave his ass. If you are just going to bitch, try to catch him in lies and still stay with him then you are better off just not knowing and living in denial.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Just because you called and it's a girl - did you ever ask who she was? I'm just looking at it from a different view -t he chic can be a cousin that you don't know about, she could be a friend that he grew up with - you don't know unless you ask.

My husband has female friends and female cousins - that call and text him all hours of the day or night. There comes a point in your life when you grow up and just trust the person you're with - you obviously don't trust him to be snooping and to call the number. If that's the case than you need to get out of that relationship.

I have male friends and cousins that I text and call whenever I feel like it. my nieces boyfriend starts work at 3am - and sometimes he'll text me or answer me on facebook or whatever at that time. omg - I must be cheating on my husband.

Ask before you jump to conclusions.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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Leave the loser!

- Response by lady_kryptonite, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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