Back to Active Questions

Active Questions

I think my guy is cheating. He doesn't see me on weekends & holidays & says he "eats at work". I
Dating / 1:19 PM - Thursday October 27, 2011

I think my guy is cheating. He doesn't see me on weekends & holidays & says he "eats at work". I

guess he isn't "my guy" afterall. How do I find out for sure,his relatives tell me he is not...but they cover for him sometimes about other things...I just want to be sure.

Update: October 28, 2011.
Thats to all of you that responded!

Update: October 27, 2011.
I really wanted some suggestions as to how to be sure. It is just too weird.

- Asked by Female, 26-28

Read more about the Rating System


Don't make time for someone who isn't making time for you!

- Response by seand619, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

Rating Received:


It sounds as if he's married and your the mistress. Sorry!!

- Response by youngfuddyduddy, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

You should run from this dude something isn't right there. It honestly sounds like he is married. Leave him girl. He just isn't worth all the trouble.

- Response by bellabyrdie, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


You think and do not KNOW!
if you think you should find out and prove what you think is TRUE

- Response by mobysdick, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Trusting his relatives is naive. It's like asking a mother to stab her kid in the back. May I ask something? Why do you allow him to eat at work (if he can eat elsewhere with you) and spend weeks and holidays without you?

- Response by thetactician, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


You don't 'find out for sure' unless you want to become part of the problem.

Just give him the benefit of the doubt. If he is cheating, it will likely eventually come up somehow.

What I would do here is deal with the problem at hand, which is time together. Talk to him and let him know that you'd like to spend more time with him and that if he can't make time for you at some point than it's going to put some major strains on your relationship.

Time spent together and space should be fair and reasonable on both sides. =-)


- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:


Life is toooo short for this. Let this guy go and find someone who wants you in his world. I have daughters your age and I have often said to them, at your age, these are just stepping stones to finding the right person. Don't get hung up on someone who isn't respectful of you and your feelings. Best Wishes.

- Response by hv2bme, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Consulting

Rating Received:


Oh honey....

if you can't bring yourself to trust him, then why in the world are you with him????

Just walk away already. Tell him "It's me, not you" or some other bullshit...but seriously.

Why are you WITH him if you cannot bring yourself to TRUST him?

That's just nuts.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

Rating Received:


While his cheating isn't definitive.....yours is. You're cheating yourself out of a happy relationship by not trusting him.



- Response by king313, An Engaged Guy, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Not to sound mean, but if you don't see him on weekends, holidays, etc., then I guess he is not your guy.

- Response by peanut1, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Administrative

Rating Received:


If you are that insecure, just hire a private investigator and have him followed. That is really the only way to get real evidence, aside from him admitting it. If you are really that unhappy, just save yourself the time and money and break up with the guy.

- Response by spiritdude, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Denver, Therapist

Rating Received:


I think it is more important to focus on how well your relationship is going and not whether your guy is cheating. You are only focusing on how angry and jealous the thought of him cheating makes you feel. I'd evaluate whether we are enjoying one another's company, if hetreats me well, and if we are affectionate towards one another...and decide to continue the relationship based on those things.

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, St.Louis, Other Profession

Rating Received:


If the relatives are covering for him while saying he's not yours, then it's a cast-iron indication that he's not yours. What other proof do you want?

- Response by myrtletyrtle, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


You learn how to use data bases. For instance Spokeo.com should indicate whether he is married or not. And other sites such as intellius will give you a detailed accounting of past employers, legal issues and other info. You can always don a wig and rent a vehicle saying you are going out of town the day before a weekend and then stake out his place with long range viewing equipment. The chance that he is covering up for another primary relationship is pretty high.

- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

Rating Received:


Are his relatives cover him in all cases? I think such doubt is serious and unless they dislike you seriously such a cover up would be unlikely. Although I am not much experienced, you might create an occasion to visit him to discover what is going on in his current situation.

- Response by miligram, A Creative, Male, 26-28, Istanbul, Student

Rating Received: