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It's been 3 weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend and 34 days since I saw him last.
Dating / 5:34 PM - Sunday October 23, 2011

It's been 3 weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend and 34 days since I saw him last.

We had a great love and relationship but I wanted more and he had little to give. His life is a mess with a lot going on. Towards the end, I found out he had started dating someone else before ending it with me. I am healing and moving on. I deserve more and recognize this fully. He is a great guy. I appreciate ALL we had. It was a wonderful 9 months with indeed some ups and downs.

The thing is, it ended without expectation and there was not really any closure. I miss him very much and I love him so dearly.

Any words of advice? I am getting out with my girlfriends, went for a pedicure, will get a massage. Am praying and meditating. I stopped all contact. I so want to write or call him but won't since he sort of bullshitted me at the end and really screwed up things. I had thought about a Xmas card. By then I should have peace. Any recommendations how to proceed?

Update: October 24, 2011.
thanks all...the kind words really support me. My ex was amazing truly in all regards. At the end it turned around into a mess and his excuses turned to blatant lies. There was no abuse, the love was solid up until the end. Irregardless, that's old news. It's still fairly fresh and my wounds are healing BUT on to better things..I am truly optimistic. LOVE MY A buds.

Update: October 23, 2011.
OH MY GOSH..thanks all..I KNOW all of this..am feeling sad and lonely tonight..a cold quiet Sunday..FOR SURE I will NOT contact him in any shape or form and am glad it's over. I don't want to be with a liar and deceiver. I deserve MORE. Thanks

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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I wouldn't send him anything or contact him in any way. it's time to move on.

It's true that we all desire closure, but life is messy. In a sitcom, there is an ending. Same with most movies and books. In life... not so much. People die with things left unsaid, people lose jobs or move and there are loose ends. Same with one's love life. I had a couple of bfs that I never got closure with, but, honestly, you just have to get over it. Accept it and move on.

- Response by curvysmartgirl, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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you are suffering from a little bit of delusion here.

You said: "He is a great guy."

No he isn't. He is a liar and a cheater and a coward who showed you great disrespect by starting something with someone else before he ended it with you.

You need to face facts and view him as he really is and not on this pedestal that you are placing him and being an apologist for all of his character defects. When you can face this honestly- allow yourself to get angry. Anger is part of the grief process and a good sign we are progressing through it.

- Response by meowmeowww, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Why do you keep insisting he's a "great guy" after the way he deceived you?

What you need to do is to forgive yourself so you can move past this. Your insistence on him being a "great guy" is so you don't feel you've made a poor choice with this guy. You also need to realize that you can't be friend with him either.

I suggest adding some counseling with your prayers and meditation. And I hope your prayers don't include him coming back to you as that isn't in your best interest. And lastly, don't send ANY cards or other forms of communication to him. It will either confirm his rejection of you or give you false hope. Good luck

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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I know it must be so hard but you are a strong person. You are worth so much more and deserve someone who will appreciate you and not lie to you. Each day will get better and the feelings will very slowly fade. Good luck!

- Response by cindypopcorn68, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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I broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago. It hurt like hell. I have not been well since. It was a very emotionally abusive relationship, but I allowed it to continue for too long. I had wanted to call him, but I refuse. He is not good for me. I told him I don't want to be friends with him. He is already seeking out other women after only a few weeks. That hurts like hell. But I am finding out more and more what a JERK he really is and not the man I thought he was. and that I trashed my emotions over. Let him go. Don't call him. You don't need the abuse either.

- Response by cancel9, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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I know it must be so hard but you are a strong person. You are worth so much more and deserve someone who will appreciate you and not lie to you. Each day will get better and the feelings will very slowly fade. Good luck!

- Response by cindypopcorn68, A Life of the Party, Female, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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