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Why do men verbal and emotionally hurt me? Does everything happen for a reason?
Dating / 10:30 AM - Saturday October 22, 2011

Why do men verbal and emotionally hurt me? Does everything happen for a reason?

I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "you know what, I trust that God has something planned for me. He knows what he's doing." I truly believe that

- Asked by Female, Who Cares?

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If you believe in God to the point of knowing and believing that he has something planned for you; you should also KNOW that His PLAN is not for you to be verbally, emotionally, or physically hurt. He would not want YOU TO ACCEPT being verbally and emotionally hurt by ANYONE. He would want you to realize emotional hurt will happen, whether intentional or not. But, how you handle it is YOUR CHOICE. Sometimes we take offense when people are giving us constructive criticism.

I don't know what type of conversations or treatment you've received from the men YOU ACCEPTED into your life. But, I do know that you should know how much you are worth to God. And, this alone would make you know what is acceptable treatment from men or anyone else. I believe everything does happen for a reason. You will not always understand why it had to happen a particular way. I believe the choices you make and what you accept, in and for your life will always affect you down the road in some way.

The great things are easy to accept and understand. The bad things are not easy to understand as a purpose or reason for it. However, I also believe there are times you receive things in your life that you didn't deserve. It isn't always because of something you did to someone else. The reason for this happening might not be for your benefit. But for the purpose of someone else you might not even know, who will come into your life or be affected in some way by whatever happened to you. You will not always understand it.

Sometimes people use "God has something planned for me" and "He knows what He's doing" as a reason for staying in an unhealthy or abusive marriage or relationship. And, I believe this is a cop out for some. Many times it is an excuse in order to keep from facing making the decision to end a relationship with someone, that for whatever reason THEY desire to keep in THEIR life. I think this is a situation that people would have to ask the God they believe in for help with.

They should ask God why THEY don't feel worthy enough to be treated better than what they're accepting. Or, find out why they every man they get involved with end up verbally and emotionally hurting them? If this happens so much you have to say "why do men hurt me?" This is a clearly a pattern with you. And, you need to find out why you keep attracting or being attracted to men that are like this? And, why it's hard for you to end those relationships?

Never settle for an unhealthy relationship where there is verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. There simply IS no reason for staying in it, once you realize this is what you have. You should want to live a healthy, happy life. And, a person who is always verbally and emotionally beating you down is not a healthy individual to be in a relationship with. Because, eventually you're going to get the physical abuse too.

Abuse is just that, whether it's verbally makes no difference it's still abuse. It is NEVER something you deserve or make happen. But, the decision to get out of that relationship when the first signs show up lies with YOU. BELIEVE what God has shown you you're worth. Believe me, once you believe in that, you will NEVER settle for a man that isn't truly good for and to you. Scared or not, you will find a way to leave. And, NOT being in a relationship will not feel worse than being in a bad one anymore.

Because, this is the reason why a lot of people will stay with someone who isn't good for them. They hold on to the few good things about them to justify why they don't end it. But, YOU have to know the type of man YOU truly desire. It is not about the man or "men." When certain men are a pattern with your relationships, it's more about an inner issue with YOU. Trust me on this one!

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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My license plate..not the state one says "IN GOD WE TRUST"..so many think money...its not at all about that.

- Response by hwyrider, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Retired

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I haven't noticed God paying attention lately.

Even if God is paying attention, many believers say "God helps those who help themselves." My guess is that your problems relating to men are not because God is doing something wrong. My guess is that the responsibility lies closer to home.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Probably, most likely, because you are too sensitive. ;-) I agree about the God part, I think so too often. :-D

- Response by thetactician, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Who Cares?

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Don't LET them verbally abuse you. If they do something or say something you don't like, then let them know it right away. Be firm. And if they do it again, cease contact with them. Demand respect. What is it they say and do? Could also be that you are sensitive, but I don't know the situation, so hard for me to know.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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Verbal abuse is verbal abuse. And it sometimes leads to physical abuse. It is a red flag. They are being aggressive, and it indicates that something is wrong. I think you are finally waking up to the fact that you have other choices. I hope you make them.

- Response by parent123, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Retired

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Yes he does, but that does not stop YOU from making BAD CHOICES!

We all seam to do this, I did it! Need to re-evaluate what "ATTRACTS" us to the people we choose in out lives.

THe problem is US not God or Fate or anything else. WE MAKE ALL OF OUT OWN CHOICES!

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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I believe that God does have a plan for everyone. I also believe everything happens for a reason. Everyone has free will, which means we are able to make our own choices. With each choice we make, we have consequences for them. Our choices may or may not be in line with what God has planned. When it doesn't, you shouldn't blame God, because it is the result of a choice that you made. I also believe that when you make a choice according to God's plan, you will get positive results. I believe that God is good and that when something good happens, that it is a result of God. When something bad/negative happens, it is because of a choice that you made.

- Response by iamboo2, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Charlotte, Therapist

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In life, there are victims, and there are those who are ready and willing to abuse them.

"Water seeks its own level," and we each attract to us what we deep-down believe we deserve.

Change what is wrong with you, and you will change who you draw to you.

Good luck!!

- Response by husband, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Transportation

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I prayed to God but he never showed up.

- Response by headscratching, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Then all will work out

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Some men will abuse you as it makes them feel powerful, these ate the ones that cannot maintain a relationship with a woman. Consider the source and ask God to pray for them, they will remain lonely and bitter for ever.. do not make that your problem, pray for them and then let it go

- Response by rumloverreturns, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Glasgow, Other Profession

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I dont know what you mean by verbal abuse. Are you just seeing hurtful, inconsiderate men? Are you perhaps misconstruing their comments? Or just choosing jerky guys to spend time with? You deserve treatment.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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