If you believe in God to the point of knowing and believing that he has something planned for you; you should also KNOW that His PLAN is not for you to be verbally, emotionally, or physically hurt. He would not want YOU TO ACCEPT being verbally and emotionally hurt by ANYONE. He would want you to realize emotional hurt will happen, whether intentional or not. But, how you handle it is YOUR CHOICE. Sometimes we take offense when people are giving us constructive criticism.
I don't know what type of conversations or treatment you've received from the men YOU ACCEPTED into your life. But, I do know that you should know how much you are worth to God. And, this alone would make you know what is acceptable treatment from men or anyone else. I believe everything does happen for a reason. You will not always understand why it had to happen a particular way. I believe the choices you make and what you accept, in and for your life will always affect you down the road in some way.
The great things are easy to accept and understand. The bad things are not easy to understand as a purpose or reason for it. However, I also believe there are times you receive things in your life that you didn't deserve. It isn't always because of something you did to someone else. The reason for this happening might not be for your benefit. But for the purpose of someone else you might not even know, who will come into your life or be affected in some way by whatever happened to you. You will not always understand it.
Sometimes people use "God has something planned for me" and "He knows what He's doing" as a reason for staying in an unhealthy or abusive marriage or relationship. And, I believe this is a cop out for some. Many times it is an excuse in order to keep from facing making the decision to end a relationship with someone, that for whatever reason THEY desire to keep in THEIR life. I think this is a situation that people would have to ask the God they believe in for help with.
They should ask God why THEY don't feel worthy enough to be treated better than what they're accepting. Or, find out why they every man they get involved with end up verbally and emotionally hurting them? If this happens so much you have to say "why do men hurt me?" This is a clearly a pattern with you. And, you need to find out why you keep attracting or being attracted to men that are like this? And, why it's hard for you to end those relationships?
Never settle for an unhealthy relationship where there is verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. There simply IS no reason for staying in it, once you realize this is what you have. You should want to live a healthy, happy life. And, a person who is always verbally and emotionally beating you down is not a healthy individual to be in a relationship with. Because, eventually you're going to get the physical abuse too.
Abuse is just that, whether it's verbally makes no difference it's still abuse. It is NEVER something you deserve or make happen. But, the decision to get out of that relationship when the first signs show up lies with YOU. BELIEVE what God has shown you you're worth. Believe me, once you believe in that, you will NEVER settle for a man that isn't truly good for and to you. Scared or not, you will find a way to leave. And, NOT being in a relationship will not feel worse than being in a bad one anymore.
Because, this is the reason why a lot of people will stay with someone who isn't good for them. They hold on to the few good things about them to justify why they don't end it. But, YOU have to know the type of man YOU truly desire. It is not about the man or "men." When certain men are a pattern with your relationships, it's more about an inner issue with YOU. Trust me on this one!
- Response by thelovedovefor1
, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?