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Why does my husband call his ex wife on her birthday?
Family & Parenting / 12:39 PM - Thursday October 06, 2011

Why does my husband call his ex wife on her birthday?

4 years ago my husband chased me down and convinced me that he was done with a washed out 33 year old marriage (her 16 and him 19) and loved and wanted me and my 6 year old boy. I am 50 and he is 55 now. He calls his ex on her birthday and creates this horrible fog for a couple of days around 10/5 - her birthday..... I am over how he treats us for a day or two.

- Asked by A Creative, Female, 46-55, Denver

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Why does he call? He was married to her for 33 years. You can't wipe out an entire lifetime of memories with a simple divorce. Now that doesn't mean he loves her, or doesn't want to be with you. It only means he's a decent guy that won't let personal crap get in the way of something nice to do for another.

Of course, if he forgets YOUR birthday, then open a six pack of kick ass on him.

- Response by inotnuts, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Newark, Retired

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Community Rating: Community Star

My advice is to stop creating trouble and animosity in your life.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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33 years is a very long time to share with someone. I think you've got to be understanding to him. I'm sure he loves you dearly but a Man who spent 33 years married and there was no emotion, I'm just not getting!!

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

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Well keep in mind that 33 years is a long time. He was married to her longer than he was alive being single so she has been a huge part of his life. Just because things didn't work out for them doesn't mean he doesn't care about her as a person. His feelings changed toward her but he still has feelings. Is it possible you are the one creating this "fog" perceiving things overly sensitive because of your feelings about it? The insecurity you feel. He obviously chose you over her & is with you. Once a year contact to acknowledge her Birthday isn't enough to convince me that you should feel threatened by such contact. It must be the way he left her that leads you to wonder why or what he must feel toward her.

- Response by melmac, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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unless he goes over and is screwing her, leave it be. you are making a mountain out of a mole-hill and it is going to be a constant thorn in your side.
he is not going to change...be glad he is eating your breakfasts and keeping you company at home. do not drive him away from you

- Response by mobysdick, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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