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My white girlfriend of 9 months just told me she had slept with a black man 40 years ago.
Race, Religion & Politics / 8:52 PM - Monday October 03, 2011

My white girlfriend of 9 months just told me she had slept with a black man 40 years ago.

I knew this girl in high school, but not very well. 8 years ago she divorced and we met up again on a popular social website. We hit it off and started dating, that was 9 months ago. Last week she told me she had slept with a black guy when she was 17. That was 40 years ago. I was devastated to find that out and I'm having a hard time getting over it. I told her I could have went to my grave not knowing what she did. She regrets what she did and only three of her old friends from high school are the only people in the world with this knowledge. She has not lived in the area for over 40 years but is now coming to live with me. Unfortunately two of the three woman that know of this situation live in the same area she is moving back too. I love this woman but if word of this got out we would both be embarrassed, belittled and ridiculed by family and friends not to mention her adult children would feel the same pain . I've been all the above before so that's not the part that's bothering do I forget what I was told. Yeah, Yeah, I have issues but does anyone have an intelligent answer.

- Asked by Male, 56-65

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You're an ignorant racist.
Really - who care's what she did 40 years ago when she was just a teenager?!
And what does race have to do with anything?
If you're just worried about what other people think, grow up!
At your age, you should know better.

- Response by uniquelyme2, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Community Rating: Community Star

The truth is that she had sex with someone over 40 years ago. Who hasn't after all of those years?

You are sounding small and foolish. The color of the person she had sex with, means little or nothing to anyone but YOU.

I assure you that nobody is stupid enough to bring back a piece of information as trivial as this, after 40 years.

Who she slept with 40 years ago, is of no interest to anyone. She is not Lady Diana.

I would not discuss this with anyone else. I do not think that anyone could read this and walk away with anything good to say about YOU! :-(

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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The past is the past and no one is going to judge her for that and perhaps it was a scandal back then. But now, it doesn't really matter and it shouldn't matter to you now. Get over it or is it a deal breaker for you.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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What you should do is move away from such incredibly ignorant people -- with or without her. Maybe it will help you.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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If it makes you feel better..he's probably dead by now..

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Financial / Banking

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It is over and done. There is nothing you can do to change her past. Stop worrying about what other people think. I f you truly cared about her this would not be an issue.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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if we all knew everyone our S/O slept with we would all be devastated

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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That is a reason you never tell your secrets-
If you could forgive only once you will find it catching and freeing of your soul.
I still regret November 2008. but shout from the rooftop November 2012 is coming.

- Response by movi, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Administrative

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I really hope you are just trying to stir up shit. I don't want to believe that people still can be so racist.

- Response by soccerchica, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You should not forget what happened it is unforgiveable! You should break it off ASAP before she moves in. Once she moves in it will be too late.

- Response by myleftfoot, A Guy Critical, Male, 22-25, San Francisco

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I think you are actually one of those 22 year old girls who hates white over thirty completely. And also in descending order men who aren't white,women(unless they are vagitarians) above 30,pet owners and anyone who doesn't share your insane points of view.

And you forgive female murderers because lots of men killed women before so it's payback.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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The 'black part' wore off many years ago....

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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that is in the past. concentrate on the NOW and the FUTURE

- Response by mobysdick, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I know, my wife is 34 and before she knew me, while she was in college, she apparently slept with several black men during those years.

If people in our little town knew, they'd be horrified. We'd be outcasts. There's a great deal of leverage a person wields with that knowledge.

It turns my stomach and unfortunately I can't help you to forget, you may never. If I had known before we married though...

- Response by A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I honestly fail to see the problem. Why is it such a terrible thing having slept with another guy? Given your age, it is unlikely you will find a virgin also that age.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35

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and all the time I thought....Once you go black you never go....

- Response by birdland, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Well, some people just don't believe in race mixing, they're called separatists. Not necessarily racist, they just don't think the races should interbreed. Some feel that way about religion. As for an intelligent answer, I'm not going to stoop to name calling like the others have done, I can only say that what has happened can never be changed. It was 40 years ago and perhaps she has not done this again. My wife has slept with a lot of guys, none were black though, but still I don't harbor any resentment or have issues with her past. Quit worrying yourself and get over this, and don't worry about what others will say if word gets out.

- Response by hearmenow, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Other Profession

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..well, ok........and your concerns are??...what?, did he cut one her arms off or something?

- Response by nameacarl, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Oostende, Self-Employed

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