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Why is it a bad thing when people feel sorry for you?
Jokes, Polls & Anything Else / 2:03 AM - Friday September 16, 2011

Why is it a bad thing when people feel sorry for you?

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I like it I'm just wondering why. Why is it people don't want others to pity/feel sorry for them? How does it make you feel when someone feels sorry for you? How does it make it a bad thing when people actuay feel sorry for you? Do you feel sorry for a lot of people? If so, what makes you feel sorry for others? What makes it such a bad thing?

*this question was just for fun. I'm simply just curious.

Update: September 16, 2011.
Oh--I forgot to ask. Why is feeling "sorry" for someone used in such a negative way now? Does everyone use it negatively now? Bc I don't, now i'm starting to feel bad bc ANOTHER person i was texting earlier told me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Really I just ignored him, because yall let me tell you this dude is like really WEIRD and everytime i see him he's ALWAYS alone and EVERYONE says he's weird too. He told me to stop feeling sorry for myself(he was bein really ugly to me) because I told him (we were arguing, it's a long story) "I'm tired of everyone being so mean to me like what the hell?" That was all i said! I was simply just saying basically that I wish people would stop being so damn mean to me, how the hell is that feeling "sorry" for myself? Idk, he had a lot of ugly things to say ..hes not very nice. Anyways--I kinda think HE meant it in a negative way, well i don't kind of think, i know. I just don't get why people say that I feel sorry for myself when i'm stating that people really are mean to me and it hurts my feelings. But it's funny because when i'm actually tough/strong or don't let things get to me people say i have a nasty attitude and i'm a "bitch." I don't understand what people want from me, i'm either TOO this or TOO that. Its never anything nice though for some reason. Whatever. Thanks again guys.

Update: September 16, 2011.
Thanks for all the responses. I enjoyed seeing everyones POV's. :) But--there was one answer that hit me the hardest. RumLover hit the target. Now ya see, thats what *i* thought feeling sorry for someone meant. Thats how *i* always seen it or felt towards people anyway. Like, everytime i would say "man, i feel so bad(sorry) for [Name]. I wish more people would understand them or what their going through. A lot of people don't realize what someone is going through and fail to treat them right ....etc." When I say I feel sorry or bad for someone i never think i'm superior to them, i kind of just wish other people would understand them like i do, and it also makes me wish i could do something to help them. When i say i feel sorry for someone, its never a bad thing. I started to ask this question because one of my co-workers said behind my back to another co-worker that they "felt sorry for me." But i'm starting to wonder if it were infact an insult. =/ Really has me thinking now. A lot of people do use terms differently than others. When my co-worker said this to me, i initially thought she actually DID mean it in a bad way but i just ignored it. Bc one thing i've noticed about this girl is that she is always saying she feels sorry for someone. Ive always heard her mention it about her friends but almost in a pathetic-like manner. Another reason I asked this question is a few people are always telling me that i feel sorry for myself too much or whatever. They'll say i throw "pity-parties" for myself. WTF? Thats the thing i don't understand, it was only one person that said this though. I'll just be sittin there talking about something that happened or telling a story and she says i throw pity parties for myself. (Example: Me: "Girl, my baby shower was a disaster, only 3 people showed up. LOL I was pretty upset but whatever ..." Can someone inform me how is that throwing pity parties, its not like i was all sad saying the story ..I was laughing. But honestly, everything that seems to come out her mouth when she describes me is always negative. (I sense some jealousy, maybe?? Hater??) She makes me out to be this horrible person when i'm not, AT ALL. I'm a very sweet girl when people give me the chance, i'm goofy, very soft-hearted ..etc. She ALSO says i'm a "DRAMA QUEEN", which that is the FIRST and ONLY time i have EVER heard anyone describe me that way. But anywho ...thanks to all who responded, i love to hear what other people have to say. It's always fun to see how other peoples minds think. :) Tah-Tah..

- Asked by Female, 26-28

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Basically, I feel sorry for losers. I feel sorry that they cannot get their shit together well enough to make things happen in their life.

You feel sympathy for those weaker than you. Nobody should want that negative attention.

Even know someone that just always seems to have some tragedy going on? It gets both tired and old. Instead of running faster to catch up and get on top of their life issues, some just sit back and wait for others to fix things for them.

I feel sorry for these under-performers. I do not know why anyone would want to be in that classification; i.e. the one that people feel sorry for.

I want to be admired and respected; not pitied.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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When people feel sorry for others, it is quite often because they feel superior to the people they feel sorry for. They are in a better position (financially, emotionally, when it comes to health or civil status, etc). We don't feel sorry for people who in every way are in a better place than ourselves. So in a way "feeling sorry for someone" is the same as "pity". And that just doesn't sound nice at all. I don't mind my real friends of family telling me that they feel sorry for me when there is a legit reason for it. But I don't want strangers to "feel sorry for me". I would suspect that they just want to feel like they are "better" and would try to make me feel weak.

- Response by silver75, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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drama queens are most likely the ones that want others to pity/feel sorry for them and have their way of making themselves and mostly others feel miserable .

- Response by headscratching, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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The meaning of the word has been changed through insincere usage, that is why it now seems to be an insult, it originally meant you felt sorrow or felt sad for someone. We now use the word empathy as the positive and sympathy as the negative...

- Response by rumloverreturns, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Glasgow, Other Profession

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Lots of my 'friends' like to feel sorry for me... it turns into a sympathy gig, then 'fixin' my problem, then getting into my business and then getting into me....
That can be good or bad depending on the 'friend' and whether you have to work the next day.... IJS.

- Response by armonablock, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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