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Why do men want me.. but Do not want to date me??
Dating / 12:32 AM - Thursday September 08, 2011

Why do men want me.. but Do not want to date me??

Why do men want me.. but Do not want to date me??

I don't understand this.. and this has happened to me for some time now. I have only had one boyfriend. It just urks me that so many men see me as a play toy and don't take me seriously. I don't give myself up, I have expectations, but I am fun and flirty still. But I do have respect for myself and don't take crap. But still.. I can't help but think that I am doing something wrong. I am very opinionated and determined when i don't like something I will say what is on my mind. However, I am open to any suggestions or advice!!

- Asked by ramriezrebecca7, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Portland

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Find a better class of men.
The weak and sexist will always be intimidated by the intelligent and secure.
Don't lower your standards!!!!!

- Response by stanorocks, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Denver, Therapist

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Community Rating: Community Star

You're a pretty girl but you're letting guys use you. If you want a boyfriend, then FWB is NOT the way to go about it.

I'm not talking about playing mind games or leading guys on, but if you wait until you know that you and a guy like each other as MORE than "just friends" you won't have guys playing with you and then dropping you.

Please remember that insecurity runs both ways. A guy who thinks he's just a FWB won't know that you have feelings for him, and may fear that you're dating other people and planning to drop him cold. Some people would rather be the one to end a relationship, just so no one can accuse them of having been dropped. I think that's whqt happened with Mr "school is starting, gotta go."

If you're ready for something more traditional, then you've got to stick more closely to the traditional format. No sex unless you have feelings for the guy and he has feelings for you. You don't have to say the "l" word, but there should be an understanding between you and the other person that you're together because you really like each other, not because you're bored or drunk.

It's a new school year and you'll meet lots of new people. Just treat them the way you'd like to be treated and you'll have all the dates you can handle :)

- Response by newyorker80, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:

First i'll go with what everyone else is saying if you wanna play then by all means do so.
If you wanna date and have a relationship skip bars and clubs you will never meet anyone worth dating there figure out what kind of man you want then go to a places where such man go to.

And third don't change for anyone BUT there is a difference between having strong opinion's and being bitchy
even if you are nothing of a sort what you say and how you behave it can be taken like that.

good luck : )))

- Response by shygirl1979, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Teaching

Rating Received:

hows this, lets change things up. You ask me out

- Response by strongbow, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Suggestions or advice?

Maybe it's because of your youth, inexperience and maturity level, that men, not boys, find you undatable? Perhaps nobody has taken you seriously enough just yet....

- Response by richard77, A Creative, Male, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

i find that these days MOST men, no matter the age, just want to fool around and have a friends with benefits deal. it is what the world has become. very hard to find someone that wants to date or even wants a casual relationship.

men your age, just want to have fun
men in their late 20's have been burned and now just want to have fun
men in their 30's are either married or newly divorced and now just want to have fun
men in their 40's were divorced in the past, maybe dated a bit and got burned and now they are just wanting to have fun
men in their 50's or beyond are either one of the above or they just don't care to be with a woman at all

- Response by fondacox, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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I'll answer with a question:

Where are you meeting these guys? Try meeting men in a new and different places, maybe you'll get better results. I know that sounds simple, but I had that problem when I was around your age. I tried something different and met the guy I eventually married.

- Response by gvmeurhwc, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35

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