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Haven't dated in 10 years and I need help with an unusual situation.
Dating / 10:29 AM - Monday June 20, 2011

Haven't dated in 10 years and I need help with an unusual situation.

First off I haven't dated in ten years. Just got out of a very long and painful relationship. The situation is... kindof a long story... I sell mattresses. This mom and daughter walk in and I sell the daughter a mattress set. While we are waiting for the financing to go through the mom askes me how old I am I say 33. She looks at her daughter and says see thats what you need, an older man "she is 24". Then she asks if I'm single I say yes, then she says well so is "jane" I say oh ok. Then I start telling them that I would call on monday with a delivery time and the mom goes you know she likes to text and facebook and stuff you guys should do that. Then she goes on to tell me how nice she cleans up and that she only looks like this because they were bumming around all day running errands. BTW her not cleaned up is freakin hot. Meanwhile the daughter is just sitting there looking at me smiling a little and being friendly. Then the mom pulls out her phone and shows me a pic of her daughter in a nice dress looking VERY hot. Then the mom tells the daughter to show me the sexy pic of herself. She pulls out her phone and shows me a pic of her in a bikini. All I could think to say was wow... So they are getting ready to leave and the mom says so are you going to text her. I look at the daughter and say yeah sure. The daughter says if you want to thats good but don't if you feel obligated to. That was saturday. Its monday now and I haven't texted her but want to. I need to anyway to set up the delivery time. What do I say, how do I act, what should I expect. This girl is very cute. I will be doing her delivery tonight alone. Do I hang out and talk. I just need some real advice. I'm not good with women anyway let alone a customer who's mom is trying to set us up. If you have any questions that might help you give better advice please ask them.

- Asked by Male, 36-45

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It seems worth a try. Some comment on her mother's odd behaviou seems called for. Beyond that ...

Don't be intimidated. Good-looking women have no respect for men that are intimidated by them, and respect is a critical component of female attraction. More specifically,

1) DTC: Demonstrate Tolerance of Conflict. Find something to disagree about, hopefully something like music or movies rather than her merit or lack of merit. By that last part I mean avoid teasing, which is in effect asking a woman to respond positively to being treated negatively. This is not a good sign if it does work, and not a success, obviously, if it does not work. Bad news either way.
2) Act like the question is a) not whether you are good enough for her but whether she is good enough for you, and b) not whether you would like to have sex with her but whether you would like to marry her. That should help you be more negative, though not in an unhealthy way: she has no god-given right to have you act as her adoring love-slave.

Fear no conflict, seek no approval, show no concern. (Be aware that seeking approval includes waiting for her to respond to anything you have said. Try to end every bit of talking to her with a question about her, as personal as possible, as long as it is not too intrusive.) Doing those things will get you as far as the situation warrants. If it takes more than that, it was not meant to be, so don't worry about it.

- Response by unluckyloveatfirstsighter, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Take your queue from the Daughters behavior towards you without her Mom there. Doesn't seem she said very much or interacted with you unless it was her Mom's urging. She could've just been entertaining Mom or she may be actually interested. You'll know more when you are with her alone. If she seems chatty then go for a hang out casual vibe to get to know here a little on her own terms. If she's standoffish, take off.

By the way, tread carefully.. She's 24 and right in her face the Mom is running her life. Doesn't sound like the type who'd back off nicely after you two hit it off... Sounds like she'll be ushering her quiet little daughter into Marriage, then Babies, right on HER schedule..

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

You are in the same age group as me and I think I would be a little weirded out about a mom-wing girl as well, especially at my place of work. I do however think I would be flattered, let's just assume they are cutting-edge and unorthodox and let that be that.

Now to the more important part. This girl obviously likes you, and kudos for pulling the attention of a much younger woman. I would pat you on the back if you were my buddy. I probably would not recommend texting her, because of the business aspect involved(you delivering her mattress). I would call her phone number(the daughter) and make sure you let her know that the reason you called and didn't text is because you wanted to be sure you gave her all of the information, and sometimes texting doesn't allow that. Be professional at first, and once you get ALL the business out of the way, ask her how her day is going. Then tell her that you actually are really looking forward to seeing her this evening. Keep it short don't overdo it.

When you get there tonight, smile and flirt with her, but take care of the business part first and keep it separated. Then after the business is taken care of, tell her that you want to take her out to dinner some night this week. Do not do it today, because you will have just been moving matresses around and even if you aren't sweaty, she might have that impression. Invite her to dinner on a night this week.

Do not try to appear like Don Juan here, you haven't dated in years you aren't a Don Juan. Tell her that you don't date a lot, be honest. Tell her it's because you are really picky, and you work a lot. Tell her she seems like someone you definitely would want to get to know, and someone that you would want to take a chance on you. Make her feel important, because to you, she is. Good Luck.

- Response by jaygfla, A Creative, Male, 29-35, Managerial

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i'm sorry but that's just weird, i really don't know what to say but if my mother did that to me, i'd kill her.

- Response by beanielou, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You say "Just got out of a very long and painful relationship".

First of all, make sure you are ready to get involved again. This situation could be your "Rebound" relationship. But, you could also remind yourself, it was these two women that came onto you, not the other way around.

Also, don't you find the entire situation a little odd? I think the entire situation sounded unusually forward on both the mother AND daughter's part.

As far as the delivery, keep it professional. Do NOT bring up Saturday at all. Not sure why you have to make the deliver alone, but if you must, only talk about the prior conversation if THEY bring it up. Perhaps they felt silly about the pictures etc....If not, who knows? Maybe this could be the start of a new relationship for you. Good luck!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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Odd how it wall went down. My advice to you is keep it simple at the delivery. Converse a little and get out of there. You're on the clock and don't need any reason for a complaint to your boss if things don't go well or if they are some type of con artist or something. Wait until another day to text her and start a conversation outside of work hours to start.

Just use caution...

- Response by glowinangeliz, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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You should've locked the front door and taken them both for a test drive on the mattress set.
Call her NOW. Yesterday would've been better. Saturday while they were in the store would have been best.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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just remember: no free mattresses, ok?

- Response by wallvis, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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