Why does he disappear everytime HE arranges to meet up with me?
Ive known this guy about 3 years and we used to have a casual "arrangement" for about a year, then we both started relationships with other people (both now over) Everytime we bump into each other now, he tells me he misses me, and asks to meet up. I agree, then text him on the day to arrange time/place and he cancels. He always has a good excuse, and says we'll rearrange but then doesnt contact me for months. Until, in fact, we next bump into each other. Each time this has happened, he convinces me to see him and says he misses me and reminds me how much fun we used to have.
This time, he sent me a text in the middle of the night with a huge outpour of emotions "we have so much fun together, we get on so well, I really do like you, can't believe Ive only just realised blah blah" and I thought "wow, ok, he sounds genuine, and he's right, we made a pretty good team, ok lets meet up and see what happens".
So we arrange the day and I text him on the day to find out time and place and he cancels on me again.
Its frustrating, he always has a genuine reason (or what sounds like it), its not that that Im bothered about, its the fact that he then just seems to forgets all about it for months! I don't, Im the one sat there wandering why he keeps doing this to me!
Friends have said he's using me, but surely he'd have to actually get something to be using me? Are my friends right? I dont know what to do. I never chase him up or text him after hes said we'll rearrange, in my eyes, if you cancel on someone, your the one who should then contact them to arrange the next date, I dont want to look desperate.
Do I let him go and say no if he asks again, or just ask him and risk looking like an idiot myself if its just that he's changed his mind or was pissed when he sent me the text? Maybe he doesnt want to seem desperate and wants me to text him? Or maybe he scared about going on a date with me, we've never gone on a date before! Help, Im going crazy trying to decide whether to text him or not!
- Asked by Female, 29-35