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When you tell someone something in confidence and ask not to tell someone else, but they do...
Friendship / 11:59 PM - Wednesday May 25, 2011

When you tell someone something in confidence and ask not to tell someone else, but they do...

is that person a friend? Two of my friends meet me every other month for lunch. We all used to work together and this is our way of keeping in touch. I mentioned to one of them that I met someone else recently, a one time luncheon, and I asked not to mention to the other person because she hates her. I was sparing myself grief. The only reason I told the one is that she had asked if I ever see so and so. I answered that way. So, the friend I told blabbed to the other in front of me at our luncheon, and yes it subsequently gave me a lot of grief. I felt I had to justify it, and swear it was just a one time thing, tell all details and this made me feel uncomfortable. When I later asked the person who betrayed me, the blabbermouth, why she told she said she wanted to "tweek" her, doesn't really like her but she got her a job so she feels she has to continue the relationship. I asked, "Were you tweeking HER or ME?" The answer was "HER." She knew the other one would be hurt and ask me all kinds of questions. I felt that I also was tweeked. So, is that person who blabbed just self-centered? Inconsiderate? Malicious? I am told by others now that she repeats confidences often, and I am advised not to trust. Should I get out of the triangle? Drop the blabbermouth? Why does someone do this?

- Asked by Female, 66 or older

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The person spilling secrets is an ego hog and thinks everyone little story is her way to dominate the floor. Most like this person are clueless and do it intentionally because it's how they get what they want. Drama.

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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More than a blubber mouth she is a trouble maker.She likes to stir the pot and get others fighting for her entertainment.I wouln't bother with either as you don't need the drama.These are no friends.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Sounds like she's a troublemaker who doesn't have a life or a code of ethics for that manner. You're a grown a** woman, you can see who you want & do what you want! Why worry about what so-n-so thinks of who you see just because they don't like them? Dang, how childish is that?

- Response by syncaset, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Some people just can't keep a secret. Others like to get things going and sit back and watch the show.
You don't have to dump her as a friend. You just need to not tell her any secrets from now on.

- Response by pookiedoo, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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There are ALL kinds of reasons why a person demonstrates betrayal.
The pain is great, it should not be that way, but it is.
It takes a fantastic memory to keep up with ('don't tell this person that or this) ...not worth it, energy draining, and can be self- destructive.
One would have to probe deeper into that 'so-called' friend's unconscious mind to really identify 'why' they did it.
Considering you were 'warned' of her behavior, and she demonstrated that she is in fact capable of doing this...
Well the decision is back in YOUR ball park!

- Response by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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In my experience the majority of women will not keep a confidence. My Mom is included---she tells her sister everything.

Yes- you are advise not to ever disclose information to people that you would be horrified if they betrayed that confidence. The majority of people--men and women can not keep a secret. The only reason men are often better secret keepers is because they have such little interest in most things women consider a secret they wouldn't even think to repeat it.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Only have trustworthy friends, We are whittling the list down. Actually about 23% are worthy of your friendship, By the time you are my age, 92, you will prbably have three good friends left D

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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this is an awful answer ...but honestly people like that have what we call runs of thr mouth one ...now if you want something broadcasted you go up to her snd say mums the word you'll be sure to hear it back all over..nuther words never share a thing with someone who can't keep their mouth shut..put some tape on her desk and a note saying you were voted BIGMOUTH of the Year do this on the break when noone can see who left it,

- Response by annk, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Teaching

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She is inconsiderate and disrespectful...I would definitely drop the blabber mouth from your circle of friends. She is not worthy of your friendship!

- Response by msgg, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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