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Do you expect your S/O to call you while they're on vacation?
Dating / 11:22 AM - Friday April 29, 2011

Do you expect your S/O to call you while they're on vacation?

My BF is away on vacation visiting his grandma at the moment and he calls once a day to say hi and we chat for half an hour or so, or if not he emails/texts me.

But I think he should be calling/contacting me more, seeing as it's not a vacation with friends, in which case I don't expect a daily call. Am I being too demanding? What's everyone's take on this?

Serious answers please.

- Asked by A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You are so fortunate that he calls you everyday and wants to talk to you. He is not your child and shouldn't have to call you at all. He wants to and you should be grateful rather than keeping a checklist of what he's not doing. If he can't go visit his grandmother without getting grief from you then you are probably a bit too dependent on him. That's not good for your relationship. Why not find other ways to enjoy your time apart and take care of some things you don't usually have time for.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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If he's calling you once a day and chatting with you for an hour, I think that's sufficient. I assume when he's home, he's with you most of the time so it's nice that he's spending time with his Grandma. Let her enjoy her time with him.

- Response by mrslml, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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Community Rating: Community Star

My very serious answer is, wow, yes, you are being way too demanding/immature/prin cess-y.

- Response by trawna, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Consulting

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I think he is calling you plenty.

My husband and I have been married 13 years. He is out of town this weekend. He drove to Houston today and called me when he got to the hotel at 5, he also called me around 10 just to chat, which was very nice. However, if he had only called me once (when he got to the hotel) that would have been fine with me. He will probably call me tomorrow night and again Sunday, but I am not going to go nuts if he doesn't.

I think it's courtesy and therefore sorta required that he calls you when he arrives and he calls you right before he leaves. Anything beyond that is gravy. If he does, great but if he doesn't, so what? I'm not sitting by the phone waiting on him. I've got a life and I'm pretty busy. When I travel, I usually don't call him every day, either.

At least, that is the way my husband and I do things.

- Response by curvysmartgirl, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Maybe his granny is keeping him busy doing projects around her house and yard.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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I think what he is doing is fine, once a day. He is spending time with his grandma. How often does he get to see her right?

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Geesh
Needy, controlling and demanding!

- Response by seasons4, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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It's a vacation to spend time with his family. He is calling you every day I would say that was plenty and more than most people would. I know If I went to visit family whom I had not seen for a while I would not necessarily contact my s/o everyday. I don't think anyone else would expect that either.



- Response by psychoticbabe1, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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I like a call during the day, but late at night when she is going to bed is when I like a call. Its nice to hear her voice last thing before sleep.

Have a great weekend!

- Response by kanaka, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Executive

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When I read he calls for an hour every damn day, my reaction was 'what the hell's is wrong with this guy'. I'd hit DELETE on a relationship with a person who was that insecure.

But that's just me. Obviously you're very needy in your relationships. I hope you find a guy who shares your same insecurities and obsessions and jealousies.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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I think you may be a little too much demanding. My boyfriend once told me he didn't have time to call when he was gone for the week end with the guys. We had a fight and he did call. So, I hope you feel lucky that he is calling once a day and sending emails and texting. I don't think you should expect more. Good Luck.

- Response by cancel9, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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Detroit guy said it best.
STOP IT!!!
Wow.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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I know women have a thing for the phone, chit-chat, and constant conversation. Raising 3daughters, prior to cell phones, they ran up absurd long distance phone calles. Nothing slowed them down till I finaly removed long distance service form our line. What you need to "try" and understand is that constant conversation thing is mostly a female thing. You're wired for constant vocal communication. As a guy I see the phone as one more TOOL, its used to answer questions, don't need it unless I've got one.

If you're guy is on vacation and checking in every day without really needing any information? He probably feels he's gone above and beyond just to keep you happy. I do it to keep peice and because I know she likes it. Not because I can't get through a day without checking in. I don't call my best guy friend everyday just because I feel the need to check in. Left up to me I doubt I'd call my best female friend everyday to check in either.

Gals arent wired like guys when it comes to lots of stuff. We've both got to bend a little to make it work. If your guy's on vacation, calling once a day, he's bending. You can let him know you'd like to hear from him more, you might even see if he'd mind you calling him if you're feeling lonely, but you've got to bend a little too. The trick is neither of you being bent far enough to break.

- Response by fluff47, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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You're not only being too demanding, you're being down right controlling.

he's on vacation. You should be happy he cares enough about you to call you/email you/text you once a day.

Back off kid, you're being controlling.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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Yes your being demanding. He is calling you every day and talking to you. He is probably busy with his grandma since he obviously had to travel to see her, so he doesn't get to see her very often. Suck it up and deal with your half an hour talk. Also if he spent all day talking to you then when he gets back he wouldnt have anything to tell you about his trip

- Response by Morgiee4, A Married Girl, Female, 22-25, Home Maker

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What the hay? He's calling once a day when on VACATION. He is crazy about you. You sound clingy.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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personally, i feel like it's overly demnading to ask for more. but i also strongly believe that each couple should figure out what works for them the best. nobody is perfect, and everybody has needs/demands that are a little over the top. In relationships, we adapt to our partners eccentricities, because they are happy to adapt to our eccentricities - it's a mutual give and take.

if this is something important to you, just talk to him and ask him for a little more communication. hopefully, he will give it to you. as long as you accept and recognize that you are being needy, it's ok to ask a loved one to satisfy your need. just don't approach the situation with an air of entitlement, and don't be too disappointed if he doesn't respond with a yes. if the situation were reversed, and he was asking you for something unreasonable (yet important to him), chances are good that you'd be understanding and humor him as long as he asks you by being vulnerable. If he were just being demanding, you'd probably just say no... right?

You have an existing relationship that's based on mutual affection and trust - leverage it to get what you want. Do it nicely.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Seattle, Technical

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The MajoRiTY of These letters say you are wrong so shurrupppp D

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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I think that the amount he is calling you is eneough however if you feel you want him to call more tell him so or call him yourself.

- Response by kristaxD, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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There is nothing wrong with wanting to hear from the person you love each day.
But expecting him to contact you more than once a day is way out of line. You are lucky. In my long distance relationship, I sometimes go for as long as a week without contact if we are both busy.
I was once like you, expecting constant attention from my s/o and do you know where it got me? Into an abusive marriage with a psycho bunny boiler, that's where! I was saying "no" to all the nice normal fellas because I saw their lack of harassment as a lack of commitment. Thank god the divorce is nearly final, I can tell you.

If he was going weeks on end without communicating however, THEN and only then could be the time to tell him to shit or get off the pot.

Hope this is helpful.

- Response by stiffkittenbabelfish, Female, 29-35, Teaching

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Are you sure you're being honest here? You say, "he calls once a day for a half an hour or so." But, then you say you think, "he should be calling/contacting me more." Wouldn't it be nice to not have to "expect" a s/o to call you while they're on vacation? I mean, wouldn't it be nice if they are just the type of human being who would miss you and simply WANT to keep in touch during their time apart from you?

It shouldn't be about how many times they call; what way they chose to communicate; or why they didn't call? These are all questions that truly should be non-issues. Consider this, there is a reason people call their partners SIGNIFICANT. Now, I truly wouldn't need for s/o to call me every single day. I don't care how many times he calls. I don't care in what way he'd choose to communicate.

I'd simply miss him and want to know he's safe, his family members are doing well, if he's with friends on vacation whether he was enjoying himself, and to simply hear from him because I'd miss him. But, I can call him for those things as well. I wouldn't bug him everyday though. It would be nice if he desired to communicate occasionally with me throughout our time apart for those same reasons.

This is only a reasonable desire. Some people feel all they need to do is tell you where they're going and when they'll return. If they feel this is their time away or outing. They might not want to talk to you every day. Because, it then feels like they're not truly "away" from you. Because, they want to enjoy missing you and coming back to you.

They might call once during their whole trip. I don't necessarily believe it has anything to do with inconsideration or a lack of caring. People are different. They handle things differently. But, it isn't unreasonable for you to desire to talk to him throughout him being away. It's unreasonable for you to expect him to feel about it the exact same way as you do. That's all.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Ya, you're being really needy. A half hour a day while he's visiting the grandma he barely ever sees is already a lot.

I just went to see my family for a week and only called my husband a few times, 5-15 minutes, because of being busy with my family and the time change.

Don't be so needy, he's on vacation to see her and spend quality time with her. For all you know, she may die soon.

- Response by milla, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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To me once a day is more than sufficient! He's probably busy with his family and wants to give them his undivided attention. What do you guys talk about for half and hour? I can barely stay on the phone longer than 5 minutes with my husband!

- Response by sweetmama247, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Home Maker

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My girlfriend calls me every day when she's on vacation. I wouldn't trip if she didn't because she's grown as hell and isn't required to check in like she's barely 18....but the fact she does shows consideration about me and everything.....and I'm fine with that.

Give him room to enjoy himself. You don't require a call that often.

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Civil Service

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I think once a day is cool..... I worry a bit if I don't hear... And I like to share the day's "highlights" especially about the kids.

But texts throughout are fine, because I know everyone is safe.


Chill out and let him enjoy his vacation.

- Response by nicolegillenwater, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Once a day sounds fine. Any more and I'd think twice about coming home.

- Response by hooperx, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Medical / Dental

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Once a day is MORE than enough. Grow up. I currently hear from my wife once or twice a month

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 36-45

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The serious answer here is you think you should be in charge of a grown man and how often he uses his phone. You're lucky he calls you at all considering how selfish and controlling you are.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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Are you sure he is really visiting granny?

- Response by englishrose4945, A Life of the Party, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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nope.

- Response by osieboo, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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