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Who should say the " L" word first?
Dating / 1:57 PM - Friday April 22, 2011

Who should say the " L" word first?

I have been dating my bf for 8 months now. Things are going great and we are very much in lov with each other. However, no one has said the L word now, i am confortable enough to say it but i don't know whether he feels the same way. I dont want to scare him by saying it too early..should i wait for him to say it? or what would be a good way to let him know that i dont just " like" him..i feel something more but without coming too strong??

thanks :))

- Asked by A Creative, Female, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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I don't think there is any hard and fast rule as to who says it first. As for us, I said it first and he said it back about 2 weeks later. I was nervous when he didn't say it back at first but figured he would when and if he felt it. I was just happy to get it off my chest.

- Response by rexy67, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Make a pact that you both say it at the same time and then do a countdown 3, 2, 1.....

And then don't say it. Wait for him to say it first and then chuckle and run in to the bedroom.

- Response by sportsnut7875, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Technical

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I was in a situation like this. One day i just came out and told him how i felt about him but i never said i loved him. He then said it sounds like someone is in love. So i told him yes i am in love with you and he said i love you to. We both was holding back our feelings because we was afraid of how each other would react. There is not a time limit on when you can fall in love with someone so dont feel that 8 months is too early to be in love with someone. If he runs away after you tell him then hes not ready for the love thing then it just wasnt meant. Just tell him how you feel because you would hate to find out you been with him so long and hes not feeling you like that. Its better to know now then later. good luck!!!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25

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My advice is to let him say it first.

But you could drop some hints like "I love it when you rub my back." or "I love how close you are to your family."

Express love for his actions or character or personality.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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If he isn't comfy hearing it after 8 months, he probably never will be.

- Response by chessplayer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Administrative

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Some things are better left unsaid. If you're both happy and getting along is it really that important? Tell him you more than like him and see what he says.

Good luck,


- Response by happer55, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Other Profession

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You said "We are very much in lov with each other". Then you said "But I don't know if he feels the same way."

So if you're not sure if he loves you, then you can't say "We" are in love. You may be and you hope he is but not sure. So my thoughts would be to say it since you are and you feel comfortable with it. Just don't freak out if he doesn't say it in return. He may or may not but don't say yours with any expectation of his reciprocation.

It's not coming on too strong for someone you've been dating for 8 mths esp at your ages. It's okay to say how you feel.

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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You have to say it first.
If he says it, he knows you'll dump him.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

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