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When a man never can give you an answer to your questions?
Dating / 12:42 PM - Monday April 18, 2011

When a man never can give you an answer to your questions?

Been seeing this guy for 5 months off and on. I recently asked him if he would be upset if I dated other men. I knew he would Bs his way around the question. He always seems too. He asked me what was prompting this question and I told him nothing that I was just curious. He then told me that we will cross that bring when we come to it and he is not into the hypothetical game. Why can't he give me a yes or no answer? Is he playin games?

- Asked by jenta, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Boston

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Actually, YOU are playing games. You did not ask that question out of innocent, random curiosity; you asked because you want to know where you stand with him. You want him to give you a direct, honest answer but you're not being direct and honest, yourself.

If you have a real conversation and "expose" the real reasons for your inquiries you're less likely to get BSed.

- Response by surrealoptimism, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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He's playing very smart games, because that's what YOU are doing.
It's called "sh!t-testing" when you hit him with seemingly-innocent questions that come out nowhere, and always turn into a fight.
Don't ask him sh!t-test questions, and he won't give you BS.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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This is the same guy that's on dating sites right? The guy who told you he didn't want a girlfriend and there's been no talk of exclusive relationship, right?

Besides the obvious that others have pointed out, why are you even asking him what he'd feel about what you do? He's doing what he wants to do and you're free to do the same. So don't ask him such questions trying to get validation or clarity on where you are. He's showing you where you are and he's also told you. He does not want a Gf.

Clearly you and he are on different pages; he's at the "once upon a time" while you are at the "happily ever after".

- Response by thottienc, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Uou said off and on...you told him or asked him to hurt him or see if he would get jealous..if you did...
Your personal business is that of your own...it will come back to you...
off and on is not a relationship but a confused acquaintences and neither of you don't know why you both are seeing one another...because there is nothing there except perhaps sex...
I think you need to grown up first and then move on...

- Response by pleasant, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Other Profession

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Seems to me that he is very "settled" in what you have together. He doesn't see the big picture and that things have become comfortable to him.
Obviously, he needs some kind of wake up call to come to light that things may not be as they seem.
I would tend to question whether or not you brought it up because you have been thinking the same thing and you may be willing to move on. If it has been on again off again, then there is nothing cast in stone to say that you would stay with him.
I would sit him down and tell him why you brought it up and how you feel about it.
Good luck and I hope things turn out good for you.

- Response by stockinglvr, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Other Profession

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If you keep asking trick questions, hon, you can expect to get evasive answeres. And then you can expect to be home alone.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Most people do not like hypothetical questions, because they often lead to arguements.

Why play "what if" games with anyone?

If you have a 'real' question and are interested in a real answer, ask him one like that before you judge whether he is playing games or not.

Asking hypothetical questions IS playing games, so stop it.

- Response by seajaih, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Well, why SHOULDN'T he play games?

YOU ARE!!!

It's really disgusting of you to poin the finger at HIM for being full of crap when you YOURSELF are so full of it you can't just say outright what you want to say without making a damn GAME out of it.

SHAME on you. If you want to know what's in the man's heart why don't you just flat out say what you need from him? Straight, no chaser, and no more Sophomoric, dumb assed, games. At your age? That's just disgusting.

- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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Don't go about like that. You want to know where you stand with him, just say it. We are too old for the games.

- Response by debski, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Detroit, Science / Engineering

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For crying out loud. YOU are playing games. Grow up.

- Response by trawna, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Consulting

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You are playing games and acting very childish. Would you get upset if he dated other women?

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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