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Why would a husband not care about his wife crying profusely over their relationship?
Married Life / 9:45 AM - Monday April 04, 2011

Why would a husband not care about his wife crying profusely over their relationship?

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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He might care but not know how to fix it. He might not be absolutely certain that's why she's crying. He may also feel that the crying is a manipulation tool that's being used to affect some kind of change that he feels is unnecessary. There's a long, long list of additional potential reasons, but without knowing him and/or specifics, it's really all just speculations and stabs in the dark.

- Response by doom2ruler, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Technical

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Community Rating: Community Star

Maybe he thought it was a stupid reason or she was being a drama queen? Regardless, if he's any kind of good husband at all, he would at least take the time to ask and see what the problem is.

- Response by rexy67, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Unless he is checked out of the relationship, I can't imagine any man doing that. I can't stand it if my wife cries for any reason.

Good luck!

- Response by kanaka, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Executive

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sounds like he may be a little tired of the relationship

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Darlin''d need the Sphinx to truly puzzle that one out.

But I will give you the sad wisdom of my observation and experience. In a nutshell, we all have to take 100% responsibility for our own thoughts, emotions, and what brings us peace and happiness.

Even if he paid all the attention in the world to your emotional upheavals, guess what? The REAL WORK is still up to YOU.

So, take your focus off of him and put it where it belongs, examining your inner being and making whatever changes are necessary. It's difficult, but oh so worth it. Best wishes.

- Response by feralberyl, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Columbus, Other Profession

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He either doesn't know how to fix it or he's so completely checked out of it he doesn't care anymore.

- Response by lioness21, A Player, Female, 29-35, Consulting

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A.) He is sick and tired of it because it isn't anything new
B). He feels it is emotional blackmail and has no tools to solve this problem
C). He doesn't love you and wishes yu would get a clue and leave him

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Celebrity

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There could be different reasons. Maybe the wife cries and acts out so much he is desensitized. He could be tired of the drama in the relationship and is getting ready to leave it. Or he's just a selfish, cold hearted bugger. I have no idea why this man doesn't seem to care but the wife in question needs to realize that he isn't hearing her and doesn't plan on changing the cause of the upset.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Using tears to manipulate men is offensive. Try something else. Maybe even try caring about his feelings.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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A few things come to mind:
a. He proably does care but she doesn't recognise how he shows it. Men and women show emotion and caring in VERY different ways.
b. If she cries profusely over everything he has learned this is nothing special and may just be a way of manipulating him.
c. Doing the right thing and doing what she wants or recoognises are often very different.

- Response by jjcabin, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Technical

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Most likely is that he does care and has no idea about what to do about it so does nothing.

- Response by atuin, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28

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A crying wife is an abomination that very few men know how to handle. Stop crying and start talking; his reaction may be positive when you do so.

- Response by int24h, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Alternative Medicine

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Maybe he just doesn't know what to do. Most men can't handle seeing the woman they love cry period and don't know what to do. So suck up the tears as much as possible and talk to him about whatever is going on.

- Response by debski, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Detroit, Science / Engineering

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My husband and I had a rocky marriage for years and I would cry and sob and most of the time he would remain cold and detached. It's not that he didn't care. He did not know what to do with these hysterics. His mother has wild mood swings and he learned to not react. He also sometimes it was a manipulation. In general men don't use tears as a way to deal with a situation. It was a very complicated. I blamed him, he blamed me. What it took was counseling for us to see our individual contributions to the problems. Now, we talk things out. If things go sour, we have to walk away and talk later before it further escalates. If I am upset, I go to him and explain MY feelings instead of blaming him. I say what I want and need. Blaming is a surefire way to get someone to become defensive and angry or to tune you out.

Maybe he doesn't care, but I would rule out other things before coming to that conclusion.

- Response by beadcrazy, A Married Girl, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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My husband does not comfort me at all when I cry and most of the time I cry because he had hurt my feelings in some way! Basically, he remains cold & distant, while I am hurting alone. I couldn't help but think that he doesn't care enough to comfort me a bit or check on me after knowing why I am crying in thefirst place! When I have brought his insensitivity to his attention, he either gets defensive or simply tells me what I THINK he should do!
We are currently going thru alot, mostly his lack of communication, admitting his wrong doings by justifying them, ends in arguing and he gets very defensive and becomes so mean to me. I admit that I get very upset too after he does. Before that, my only "mistake" seems to be that I am bringing this up agai and even though things are not resolved, I feel he just doesn't want to deal with it!

I don't understand why the woman has to be the one to "bring this up for discussion" when he is perfectly aware of the situation? And, why does he suddenly wants to point out something aboit me that he states bothers him, right after I bring up the unresolved matter to him?? That is not right AT ALL!! If
thats the case, he should have told me before!! Or is it judr
that were true, why havn't you mentioned this before?? Or is it just to point me out! So very childish!! I dont think its fair for women to take this on when he is involved just as much or in my case, mostly is his crap! I am tired of doing this over & over & getting same bad, hurtful & no effort to resolve it! Marrief 9 yrs, no kids & been going thru this & other issues for the past 4 yrs or so.
have suggested counseling, books,etc...he agrees but nothing ever gets done because I didn't start it or do anything..always me! Well, its his turn & I pray that IF he decides to someday, it wont be too late, but it might already be. I still love him but its going away..its so sad to me to ask myself if he loves me then why??? :( Thanks for the time!

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 46-55

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