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People not who they appear to be
Sex & Intimacy / 3:34 PM - Saturday April 02, 2011

People not who they appear to be

How do you get over it when someone you looked up to turns out to be the opposite of what you thought them to be. Something that goes against your morals?

- Asked by anonymoi, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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We are all just humans, no matter how long you've known someone it's only a matter time before they say or do some that surprises you.

- Response by stupidgdlkg, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Edmonton, Technical

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Well my ex james..I looked up to him in SO many ways..he was IT to me. He was the epitomy of a man..of strength and of respect..well that all changed when he well..showed a side of him I never thought possible with him. I just left and never looked back....not that it didn't hurt.

- Response by gregslove77, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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My sisters are like that 2 face back stabing bitches. They way they live is all lives. and they always have to ruion everything. I have disowned them hope my niece and nephew dont turn out like them

- Response by motherof12006, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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then they are no longer a part of my life.

- Response by rantingmadman, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Transportation

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Sorry, I misread what you stated. I thought you said, someone you looked up. I missed the "to" at the end. Well, yes it's disappointing. But, I still don't just exclude people from my life, simply because they think differently from me. If it's someone I was interested in having a relationship with, I would no longer be attracted to that possibility. And, depending on what type of thing it is they are doing, would determine if we could associate at all. But, I don't necessarily just abandon someone because their lifestyle or beliefs are different from my own. It's still about diversity.

I've learned many of my life experiences by the mistakes, lives of others, and my own imperfection. Morally, corrupt or not, I'm not perfect either. So, I wouldn't want to simply judge or assume someone to be worthless to me because of their moral condition. I would hope in some way I could help them be better than what they are accepting. However, if they were fine living that way, I wouldn't be around them when they engaged in that type of activity. You didn't really give details so I don't know how serious of a moral issue it was for you. That would determine if I'd even attempt to remain a friend, potential love interest, or socialize with them at all. Because, I have many family members who have moral beliefs different than my own. But, that doesn't mean I'll disown them.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I don't have to get over it. I might be very disappointed that my perception of them was wrong. But, that's all it was. I didn't truly know them. If I read a profile and there are things within it that I don't agree with or goes against my moral beliefs, it doesn't affect me on a personal level. That is what diversity is about. I don't think I'm better than they. I don't hate them. I don't believe there is no good thing in them or they can't contribute anything good to others.

I don't assume they have NO MORALS because they are not the same as my own. I don't believe I can't learn something from what they share on here. That would be very close-minded of me. There are people on here who can get on my nerves with some of the garbage their repetitively saying. But, there are times when those same people say some things that are profound to me. And, I learn something from them or the experience they've shared. People don't have to believe everything, do everything, or always think as I do, in order to be a decent human being that is able to help someone.

They simply have some things about them that I don't agree with, or maybe don't even like. That in itself doesn't mean what they contribute is invalid. I'd hate for someone to view my profile and make a judgment about me, by my playlist or anything else. Because, from time to time that changes. And, they might be dead wrong about me. What does what they choose to do in their life or how they believe have to do with your moral beliefs? You don't know them or their life really. It isn't their fault that you chose to think you knew them by a few responses that seem to agree with what you believe. In what way does or will this new revelation about the person affect you?

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Know that we are perfect mirrors in the world and that this has been as true about you at one time or another as it has been in this instance with you and someone else. This is the way of the world.

- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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....sometimes the kindest thing you can do for another, is allow them to have feet of clay.

- Response by nameacarl, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Oostende, Self-Employed

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