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What is the best way to have "the talk" about being exclusive with a guy? I don't want to put on
Dating / 7:04 AM - Tuesday March 15, 2011

what is the best way to have "the talk" about being exclusive with a guy? I don't want to put on

pressure but it has been 1 1/2 years

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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Oh, my dear. You have made me laugh (sorry).

Pressure?! After 1.5 years?!

You shouldn't even have slept with him until you'd had the talk.

Talk to him today. If you lose him, you never had him. And, if you lose him, you are freed up to find someone better. And, to practice your new-found non-doormat-ness on. ;)

- Response by trawna, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Consulting

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That is a really long time to be in limbo. I think you just need to ask him what he really wants and see where you stand. It is not unreasonable that you would want to know this.

- Response by sexytony617, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Boston, Consulting

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Why do you need THAT talk? Do his actions not speak eloquently, by now?

IMO, if you feel a need to ask for clarity about your relationship, you don't have a relationship. A man's job is to give the relationship direction-- he needs to be in the driver's seat.
If you have to ask "Where is this relationship going?", he's not doing his job.
If you have to ask if you're exclusive, you're not.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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Gah...1 1/2 years is a long time. Do you have any reason to believe he has not been exclusive with you? Maybe it's just been understood that you're not seeing anyone else. Just flat out ask him, "how do you feel about me seeing other guys?" Simple enough question!

- Response by mdb8825, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Boston, Student

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After 1 1/2 years, you should be able to 'talk' about anything. The best way is just to do it.

- Response by stillagoodguy1, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Celebrity

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I think it is too soon to have this talk. You should wait awhile before approaching it. If you think he is the one for you then preferably you should let him bring it up. If you bring it up you may scare him away but if you do see an opening to bring it up then approach it with caution.

- Response by perkyjen1, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Boston

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Don't rush things the relationship is young and so are you. It will happen when it's time.

- Response by ethelb50, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65

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If he hasn't moved that way and doesn't feel that way about you after a year and a half. There really isn't much you can say to him simply because you are going through the motions of being exclusive and are not.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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