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It turns me on to think about my husband with another woman...I don't know why!
Sex & Intimacy / 12:31 PM - Saturday February 26, 2011

It turns me on to think about my husband with another woman...I don't know why!

I'm 28 years old &my husband is 22. We have been married a year &a half. After we moved to New York, we began having problems. We seperated &he moved back home. During this time, I began sleeping with a man whom I thought I was in love with. I have known this other man since I was born. [Please keep in mind I'm not asking to be judged] It turns out I really love my husband with everything. I have a lot of passion for him I didn't realize before. I dumped the other guy &am currently working things out with my husband. We are really working on it too. We really get to the root of the issues at hand &discuss them openly. We may argue a bit but at the end of a disagreement, we always come to terms with the fact that we love each other. Nothing can change that &we are a lot stronger than I thought.

My issue is that recently, after having put myself in his shoes [I've been in his shoes before], I find myself extremely turned at the thought of him having sex with another woman while I watch or join in. I am unsure of why. He &I have talked about it. He is more than willing to respect my wants/needs either way we go. I am usually a jealous person but this doesn't seem to bother me. I like it rather. I also am turned on when he makes me feel ashamed for sleeping with another man. We are at the point of searching for anothey woman. My husband has made it very clear he only loves me. I can understand this because I only love him but I love sex &also like to have sex with women as well as with men. Why does the thought of my husband having sex with another woman turn me on so much?

Update: February 26, 2011.
I know you aren't trying to be mean. Your questions are getting me to see things from all angles which is what I wanted so I'm happy you are beng nice. I hope I didn't sound rude...it's a new subject for me. I've aslways, always been comfortable with sex &the topic of sex since I was 13. Call me a ho but I feel it's just human nature for some people? I am capable of love, rationality, compassion, thought, everything most [99.99%] other people are. If my husband &I break up, he oesn't have to tell any woman what his ex-wife [me] & him did behind closed doors. If he is no longer interested in this lifestyle, he can choose not to participate any more if he's single. If we stay married, if he no longer wants to do this, I fully stand by him 100% &cut any/all ties with that lifestyle. It may not be a lifestyle for us; it may be something we try &enjoy but it may not be for us. Thank you getting me to see things from more perspectives!

Update: February 26, 2011.
Understandable. You have very valid points. But like it was pointed out, he &I are both consenting adults. I know fully 10% I should not have cheated on my husband. I shouldn't have slept with him. But the fact is, we still have these feelings. Maybe it can work for us. We are best friends without secrets. Honesty is good for a relationship, no matter the truth.

Update: February 26, 2011.
I can definitely understand your reasoning. I can see maybe it's my way of justifying what I did in the past. I ended things with the man I was with during our seperation because I wanted to. I realize I can only have love, real, true, happy, love with my husband. But I find myself sexually attracted to other men &women. I am a very sexual person, our sex life is not boring when we are together. It's great &I never could have dreamed with sleeping with another man before he left for home. It's since the break up that I have felt this way. It feels like I am being honest with him ¬ hiding anything. But I have no desire to have sex with any other man. I did it before, it does not mean I will always do it.

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Fashion

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You're both consenting adults. If you have talked it through, then why not?

- Response by lillie808, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Administrative

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My guess is that you are rationalizing a way to have your cake and eat it too. If he is having sex with someone else it lets you off the hook so you can have sex with whomever you please, just as you have been doing. If you need a sex life outside of your marriage, you really shouldn't be married. You need to keep being honest with your husband and really consider just what it is you are hoping to achieve by leading him down this path.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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Community Rating: Community Star

Natural born 'ho

- Response by jojospice, A Guy Critical, Male, Who Cares?, Political / Government

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Do it and have fun. your risking a lot but if it's worth it to you both then go for it.

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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you know, i've been thinking the same thing. i'm glad a woman has the same thoughts as me because i thought it was just a man thing lol

- Response by heyzeus023, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 22-25

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