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My boyfriend never goes out with me on Saturday nights, unless I give him an ultimatum.
Dating / 8:10 AM - Saturday February 19, 2011

My boyfriend never goes out with me on Saturday nights, unless I give him an ultimatum.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. He is different from every guy I have ever met in my liffe. Even my friends think our relationship is the strangest one they have ever heard about. For starters we don't go out or spend any time together if its just for fun or pleasure. When I have a work related problem or my or he notices the grass at my house needs a cut he will get so excited and come rushing over to cut it or if i have any work related problem I can't fix wether it's my computer or if it's a job that requires him to get his hands dirty (which sometimes does occur as I own my own business) he will not leave my side until its fixed no matter how long it takes. As soon as its over he tells me he has to go. There is nothing i can say will make him stay.
Sometimes i cook him a meal and he will stay and eat it as soon as we finally just sit down and relax and spend quaility time with eachother and just talk, he has to go
because he is really tired and it's a long drive home (he lives about an hour away). It's the same excuse everyday. He can't spend time with me because he is tired, he has an upset stomach, he has a long drive home, or he is running late for church. He goes to church everyday. At the begining I used to admire how much he loves going to church, he goes 7 days a week, sometimes twice on Sunday's. I used to say to myself I would rather him spend time at church then at the pub. And I still believe that, however now I'm getting frustrated, I feel bad thinking this way, and I feel bad telling him, but I say to him can you just go to church 4 days a week and the other 3 hours you save from the other 3 days spend it with me. God never said neglect the people you love and spend more time at church. It's getting to the point I'm so depressed and I cry about this problem. Or if I tell him come and see me after church finishes he says no, because he goes to church on his way home from work and then by the time it's over he still has a long drive home and he can't wait to get home to relax.

The only time we will go out like normal couples and have dinner or coffee or just go for a walk is when I give him an ultimatum and say either we start going out and you out me as a priority in your life and spend quality time with each other by just doing nothing, or it's over. Only them will he actually go out somewhere with me for pleasure. But even that is limited to about an hour or two. When he sees that I am now happy, he goes back to his old ways and we don't go out again for a few more
weeks until I give him another ultimatum.

If your asking yourself when do we have time for romance, well we don't, he hasn't even kissed me til this day. When I tell him, look this isn't working, I don't feel you love me, and your not respecting my feelings he says if I don't love you then why would I be doing all this work for you. I say I don't need you to do anything for me, all I want you to do is have fun with me, do something fun or just relax and talk, we don't do any of this.

The more I'm writing this the more I realize how silly and dysfunctional this relationship is.
It's a Saturday night, I'm at home, like usual he went to church tonight, it finished ages ago, I'm trying to call him and his phone is switched off!

- Asked by pepos1234, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Melbourne, Consulting

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Wow, this is strange indeed. But I can see right through this.
But let me ask u this. Is he a christian? If so, he will ALWAYS stay far from you because he DOESN'T want to get intimate with you or have sex with you. Christians don't have premarital sex, remember?
Right now he's dating you because he wants to know if you are compatible to him where marriage is concern.

- Response by earlibee, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Managerial

Rating Received:

He's not your boyfriend. He's a friend who helps you occasionally but doesn't spend time with you other than that.

I think you know what you need to do.

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

Rating Received:

this is not no boyfriend.. sounds more like a friend to me.
and it also sounds like he's hiding something. at church every single day and twice on sundays? uh huh okay there.

- Response by girlpower08, A Sportif, Female, 36-45

Rating Received:

Nope. I never do ultimatums. Some babe tries that on me and she finds herself home alone next Saturday.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

Rating Received:

he does NOT sound like ur bf at all. he sounds more like a friend. and when u give him ultimatum, he prob gives in because he doesn't want to lose ur friendship.

- Response by nicky711, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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You need to find a new boyfriend. One who gives you what you need and DOESNT MAKE YOU CRY!!!!!
Come on, you cant make someone choose religeon or you, religeon will ultimately always win......

- Response by raceygirl, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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