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Active Questions

Once a cheat always a cheat? Once a liar always a liar?
Dating / 8:55 AM - Sunday February 13, 2011

Once a cheat always a cheat? Once a liar always a liar?

Title says it all. Opinions?

- Asked by Male, 29-35

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There are two kinds of cheaters, one who just cant help but feed their self indulgence, and ultimately the only person they are hurting mainly is themselves because they will never be happy or really know what they want. The other is on the hunt looking for something better...the latter will stop once they are satisfied with their catch. Age also has it advantages to stop in shelf life!
As for liars, some do it to protect, some for devious reasons, but a liar always gets found out eventually. A cheater is a liar until they are caught at their own game.

- Response by zararock72, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, London

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Kind of a 50/50 percent chance I would say...some people change, some people don't.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 46-55

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We do evolve as we get older and wiser- little kids cheat at games or lie when caught- we all lie and someone else may label you a cheat through there eyes- hurt people will hurt more people that is more the cycle. It isn't always true or false- too many reasons we lie to protect someone - to condemn with such a closed mind isn't evolving-

- Response by sweetshyfree1, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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I'd say yes unless the person is determined to change for the better.

- Response by semperfilove86, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Phoenix, Medical / Dental

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Really its a generalization and like all generalizations are pretty narrow minded and often wrong. Its like saying all black people are lazy. Yes, there are bad people out there that make a habit of cheating over and over again through their life. But there are also more complicated situtations with decent people in them who make bad (or good, depends on the perspective) choices. As far as the 'liar' bit. That is such an over generalization that its kind of silly. So If I tell a girl she looks nice, just cause it would be rude to say "Actually you look like crap" or when someone says "How ya doing" and I answer "fine" even though I'm not... Then I'm forever this devious con man that never tells the truth? The common sense truth of what you're really seeking is in the middle... Just cause someone has told a lie doesn't mean they're always lying. Just cause someone has cheated on someone doesn't mean they will always cheat on someone. The best advice is... If someone has told You a Big lie, its probable (not certain) that they will tell you big lies again. And if they have cheated on you, its probable that they will again. Once you open the floodgate of bad behavior within a relationship, its easier to open it again (because 1. You don't value them and 2. You got away with it). But... Not certain and not necessarily easy to do in the next relationship. Just cause person A doesn't value significant other #1 doesn't mean they won't value significant other #2.

- Response by An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Teaching

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If a cheater keeps the same friends, keeps the same lifestyle, keeps acting the same in all other situations then nothing has changed. Can they point to 20 self help books they just read? Have they invested time and money in a counselor? Have they dumped dishonest friends? Have they put in effort to address any reasons they might have been cheating? Do they demonstrate openness and honesty in difficult conversations or do they react in the same old ways?

People lacking character have no problem promising or saying anything.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Not always, I admit, but I do use that concept for two kinds of people. Cheaters (who cheat on their s/o, not on a game or something), and thieves.

- Response by missbelle00, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Student

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If they don't sober up, these are true.
If they don't drink or do drugs, it's highly likely these behaviors will continue because they are ingrained in the personality.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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In life, unless it's death and/or taxes, there is seldom an "always".
I think a better term to apply to this issue, is "propensity"

- Response by epiphanomaly, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Philadelphia, Self-Employed

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I was a FIRM believer that this is true... because if you can bring yourself to cheat on someone once.. you can do it again without a problem... I alsways said that there was NO excuse to cheat.. just LEAVE the person if you are that unhappy...

THAT being said... I reeeeealllyyy hope it is not true because of my current situation

- Response by kingtorn, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Of course not! People change. If you don't believe that people change then you are condemning yourself to remain exactly the same as you are for the rest of your life. Open your mind, people can and do change for the better ALL THE TIME!

- Response by sweetmama247, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Home Maker

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a person can change if she/he wants to.

- Response by mobysdick, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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true fact! the biggest lie i ever told was that I never lie. tee hee!

- Response by dudemcguy, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Student

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If I were to label you with one of these absolutes, would it be ture ?

- Response by buffer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Retired

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